‘Ihatethis,’ she exclaims, anger rising up in her suddenly.
‘I know you do. But honestly, there’s nothing for you to?—’
‘Tommy, do you understand?’ Lena snaps. ‘I hate the way this has made me feel. As if I’m a jealous and insecure person, which I’m not. Even after what Max did, cheating on me all that time. It still didn’t make me like that because that was abouthim.It was him being pathetic and weak and needing his ego stroking by a younger woman. But even he didn’t turn me into a jealous and insecure woman and you’re not going to either?—’
‘Lena!’ Tommy cries, and she realises she’s been shouting. ‘I don’t want to turn you into anything! I think you’re perfect just as you are.’ She realises he is crying too. And now Shelley appears in the doorway, her face awash with concern. She steps out into the snow and touches Lena’s arm. And Lena finishes the call abruptly and Shelley puts her arms around her, pulling her close.
‘Come inside,’ she murmurs. ‘Come on, honey. It’ll be all right.’
Lena blots her face on her jumper sleeve. They step into the kitchen where Pearl and Niall are drinking tea at the table.
‘Leen, are you all right?’ Pearl asks, jumping up.
Lena shakes her head and Niall gets up too, about to leave the room. ‘No, Niall, it’s fine. No need to rush off.’ She rubs at her stinging eyes. ‘Just a bit of a thing with my boyfriend?—’
‘Oh, Lena.’ Pearl hugs her tightly. ‘I’m sure it was nothing. Daisy probably just wanted him there…’
She nods and Shelley hands her a glass of wine. ‘What a Christmas,’ Lena announces, shaking her head.
Niall still looks as if he’s walked into the wrong room at a hotel and a conference is going on. ‘I’m sorry there’s stuff going on at home, Lena.’ He pauses. ‘But look, I just want to say you’ve all…’ Now he glances at Pearl. ‘Somehow, you’ve managed to make this a brilliant Christmas.’
‘I’m glad you’ve enjoyed the day.’ Lena manages a smile.
‘Yeah.’ He clears his throat. ‘It’s been… pretty memorable.’ He smiles then, and without needing to say anything, both he and Pearl step outside into the sparkling garden, away from the others. Here, as they walk down towards Michael’s snow-covered vegetable patch, Niall takes her hand. The simplegesture feels so natural and right – Elias wasn’t the hand-holding sort – and Pearl’s heart seems to soar as she smiles up at him. ‘I wonder how long we’re going to be snowed in?’ she asks.
Niall chuckles. ‘Another few days would be bearable, wouldn’t they?’
‘They would,’ she agrees. ‘Honestly, I think I could cope with that?—’
‘Pearl,’ he cuts in suddenly. ‘I just want to thank you…’
‘For what?’ She is genuinely surprised.
He shrugs, as if unsure how to express it. ‘For helping me through this time of year, corny as that sounds. Honestly, I was dreading it.’
‘I’m glad,’ she says. ‘I mean, I’m glad you’ve been here with us. It’s been…’ She breaks off, and they look at each other in the glow of light from the cottage. ‘It’s been wonderful,’ she adds. Then she reaches up and kisses his cheek, and then her lips are on his and they are kissing in the crisp, cold night, his hands wrapped around hers.
As they pull apart he looks hesitant. ‘I’d love to see you,’ he starts, ‘when you’re back in London. Would that be okay? I’m sorry, I don’t even know how you feel about all of that. If you even want to meet someone. It sounds as if your life’s pretty full?—’
‘I was seeing someone,’ she cuts in, ‘for a few months. It’s just finished…’
‘Oh, I understand,’ Niall says quickly. ‘It’s not what you want. I totally get that. I haven’t seen anyone since the split…’
‘No, what I mean is,’ Pearl clarifies, ‘I finished it because it wasn’t right. Because I didn’t want to be with someone just for the sake of it, you know?’
Niall nods and their footsteps crunch into the snow as they make their way back to the cottage. ‘Yes, I do know.’
She looks at him as she pushes open the front door. ‘But yes, I’d like to see you,’ she adds, ‘when we’re all thrown back into our real lives. I’d like that very much.’
At ten to midnight on Christmas night, the three women settle by the fire in the lounge. Everyone else has gone to bed but they need time together, just to reflect on the strangest Christmas they’ve ever had.
Christmas night always feels weird to Shelley. It’s the end of a whirl of a day, when the enormous dinner is over and the furls of wrapping paper have all been swept up and stuffed into bin bags. All the preparations and fuss, and it’s over in a blink. She wonders momentarily if Joel’s mother has done her usual thing of gathering up the biggest pieces of wrapping paper to be taken home and ironed and reused next Christmas. And if in fact Joel really did remember to buy more wrapping paper for his parents’ gifts, as she’d asked him to. Not that it matters now, she decides as Stan jumps up and settles on the sofa beside her.
‘Leen, it’ll befinewhen you get home,’ Pearl assures her.
She shrugs. ‘Will it though?’
‘Of course it will,’ Shelley says firmly. ‘Tommy adores you. You know that.’
