‘That’s the main freezer where all the evening meals are,’ he clarifies. ‘I really am sorry?—’
‘Honestly,’ she cuts in, ‘no need to apologise. It all worked out in the end and everyone loved it. The fish and chips – thefish suppers– were amazing, and Frida loved the macaroni pies. She had two?—’
‘You had macaroni pies?’
‘Yes! My God, they’re delicious. What a fantastic invention – carbs encased in carbs. So it was actually quite fun, figuring it all out. Like some kind of challenge.’ Shelley chuckles. ‘Like we were being filmed for a reality show.’
She senses him smiling now.
‘Are you always as positive as this?’
‘I try to be,’ she replies.
‘Even so,’ he ventures, ‘I’m sure it was a challenge you could’ve done without.’
‘Well, never mind,’ she says quickly. ‘You were in a hurry and you had other things on your mind, didn’t you?’
‘Well, yeah.’ A small silence settles between them and Shelley wonders why he’s still on the line, chatting to her, when surely he has company.
‘So, erm… I hope things are working out for you?’ she ventures.
She hears him moving around the room. ‘I actually feel a bit stupid,’ he starts.
‘Why?’ She frowns.
He sighs heavily. ‘I wasn’t going to say because you’ve been so brilliant. You all have, in making this possible for me. And I’d already decided I was going to say it’s been great?—’
‘Michael,’ she cuts in, frowning, ‘you don’t need tolieto us…’
‘Okay.’ He clears his throat. ‘I s’pose I just feel a bit ridiculous, taking off on a whim when obviously, it was never going to work…’
‘Hasn’t it? Oh, I am sorry. So, what happened?’
‘Erm, well…’ He tails off, and she wonders whether she should have asked. ‘It was obvious right away,’ he starts, ‘that what we’d had over all those thousands of miles wasn’t… well, I don’t knowwhatit was,’ he adds. ‘Just that it didn’t translate into real life.’
‘Oh, Michael,’ she murmurs.
‘It really is okay,’ he continues, feigning brightness now. ‘We had a few drinks and a perfectly nice time. But there was this unspoken thing that it wasn’t going to happen. What is it that they say?’
Shelley frowns. ‘That there wasn’t a spark?’
‘Yeah.’ A wry chuckle. ‘Maybe we should’ve just kept it as a long-distance thing…’
‘But you had to try, didn’t you?’ she suggests.
‘I s’pose so. But it still feels…’ He breaks off. ‘Kind of mortifying.’
She stands at the window, looking out over the white-topped hills as she takes this in. Niall and the Sampsons have all headed out to enjoy the bright, snowy morning and Lena and Pearl are out walking Stan. ‘You shouldn’t feel like that,’ she says now. ‘Not that I’mtellingyou how to feel…’ She pauses, wondering how best to put it. ‘I just mean there’s no shame in it. It was always going to be risky, wasn’t it?’
She senses him pacing around and wonders what the view from his hotel is like. ‘Guess so. But I should’ve approached it with a lot more care and thought…’
‘What were you supposed to do? Perform a risk assessment?’
He laughs. ‘Maybe.’
‘Well, I don’t think that’s any way to live your life,’ she adds, ‘personally speaking. Not that it’s anything to do with me, but we all make cock-ups sometimes, don’t we? We all jump in with both feet because we believe in something – or someone – and we have to take that chance—’ She stops, catching herself, and laughs. ‘Oh my God. I’m spouting memes at you. I’ll be saying “we all have the same twenty-four hours in a day” next?—’
‘Who came up with that?’ Already, he’s sounding happier.
