Linus
Rejected. Me. I shouldn’t have been surprised. It had felt so wonderful to know that I was bonded to a handsome, powerful, and compassionate alpha. Saint was an alpha who helped people for a living and was as exciting as he was good.
No wonder he didn’t want me. I would never come close to being the omega for him.
“Linus, wait!” Saint called after me as I threw open the back door and stepped down the rain-pounded kitchen stairs at the side of the house.
I didn’t wait. I didn’t want to hear his apologies and his rationalization for why it was best if we sought out a way to sever the bond as soon as my heat was done. I didn’t want him to give me the whole, “It’s not you, it’s me,” line. That’s what he’d been saying to his brother, wasn’t it? That he wasn’t adequate? It was all an excuse, of course. Saint had said it himself. He didn’t wantto be bonded. Now or ever. He probably thought I’d trapped him into the whole thing.
Oh, god! Saint probably thought I’d trapped him into the bond.
“Linus, stop,” Saint called after me again as I skittered down the wet stairs to the path that led to the boathouse, slipping as I went.
I was soaked within seconds, but considering how hard and fast my next heat wave was coming on, I didn’t mind. In fact, I was grateful for the rain. Not only did it cool my overheated body, it hid the tears that streaked down my face.
“Stop, Linus.” Saint continued to follow me, even though he didn’t have to. I could feel his annoyance at getting soaked underneath the concern and regret that wafted from him like waves battering me against the rocks. “Where are you going?”
I didn’t stop. I hugged my now sodden robe tighter and headed for the boathouse. From my bedroom window, I’d noticed that one of the van’s back doors had swung slightly open. It must not have been closed all the way after the confrontation where we’d discovered what was really going on with Lucas’s smuggling efforts. The van was just a tiny bit longer than the boathouse, too, so everything inside was probably already wet all the way through.
I didn’t know why I cared whether a bunch of firearms concealed in fake bags got wet. I couldn’t shake the stupid feeling that the police would be upset with me for carelessness with evidence that was important for their investigation. It wasn’t like I was solely responsible for making sure they caught the Dumfries gang, after all. I did feel like it was a little bit my fault that the gang was involved with my family to begin with, though. It didn’t make sense, but I should have been a better role model for Lucas and stopped him from going down this bad path.
“Linus, please stop,” Saint said, pleading in his voice and radiating through the bond as we reached the boathouse. “We need to talk about this. I think there’s been a big misunderstanding.”
I shook my head as I reached for the van door and tried to slam it. “We can’t misunderstand each other,” I said. “We’re bonded. That means I can feel your emotions and when you’re lying. You weren’t lying when you said you aren’t ready to be bonded.”
“That’s not what I meant, though,” Saint insisted.
I’d tried to slam the door, but the latch didn’t catch. I slammed it again and a third time, but it still wouldn’t catch. Saint stepped forward and tried to shut the door himself, but when it more or less bounced back instead of catching, I saw that one of the gun-filled handbags had slumped to the side and blocked part of the door.
“I understand,” I said, shouting a little over the driving rain, which beat hard against the metal roof of the boathouse. Usually, I liked that sound. Now, it made my skin crawl. “Not every alpha wants an omega, I get it. I’d just be a burden to you. I don’t fit into your lifestyle.”
“That’s not it at all,” Saint said, slamming the door hard once the corner of the handbag was moved out of the way.
The van door finally shut and stayed shut, but the rain pounded down as hard as ever. I even heard thunder in the distance, out over the water, and caught a flash of lightning out of the corner of my eye.
“That’s what it sounded like to me,” I said, speaking above the rain. “I got up almost as soon as I felt that you’d left the room. Because of the bond, I didn’t want to be apart from you for too long. And I’m still in heat. I went downstairs looking for you, but I hid around the corner of the doorway when I heard you and Fennick talking. I…I heard almost everything.”
“Maybe you heard it, but you didn’t hear what I was thinking,” Saint said, wiping wet hair out of his face as the rain plastered it to his head.
“But I felt it,” I insisted. “I felt your emotions through the bond. I felt reluctance and fear and distaste.”
“Those things weren’t directed at you,” Saint said, planting his hands on his damp hips.
“They were,” I said, my heart breaking more and more with each exchange. “You forget, we can’t lie to each other now. We’re bonded. I can feel your emotions and you can feel mine. Right now, I feel how shocked and afraid you are.”
“I’m not afraid because we’re bonded,” Saint insisted.
“Yes, you are!” I shouted, throwing my arms out wide. “I can tell, Saint. You’re terrified of me, of what I’ve done to your life. You don’t want me.”
“I do want you!” Saint yelled back. “You’re wonderful, Linus. You’re kind and lovely and so brave.”
“Brave? Me?” I laughed sharply. “I’m terrified of everything. I never take any risks. I live in a safe world where I’m nice Mr. Cahill to a bunch of first-graders. I only ever go through heat with an ESA from B&M. I haven’t dated anyone for years because I’m afraid of having my heart broken. I don’t have any dangerous hobbies, I don’t go on vacation to exotic places, and I’ve never done anything at all kinky until the last twenty-four hours.”
But a little part of me had to admit that I was having a blast during this heat, kinky bits included.
“That’s all just a part of who you are,” Saint said. “I don’t expect you to be a daredevil all the time. I definitely don’t expect you to be as colorful as your brother.”
Ugh, Lucas. I’d forgotten about my evil twin in this whole thing. He was probably upstairs in his bed right now, humpingFenn like his life depended on it, without a care or a scruple in the world.
