“I…I don’t,” Linus lied. I knew it was a lie, because I could feel his worry and his sparks of hope going out one by one.
He deserved so much better than I could give him, and I meant that on every level.
“Go to sleep, sweetheart,” I said, kissing his forehead and being as outwardly tender with him as I knew how. I’d had years to practice being kind and gentle with people in distress, but the gut-deep fear that Linus could see right through all that to the weak heart of me made it difficult to focus. “We both need to sleep after something that amazing.”
“It was amazing,” Linus agreed with a sigh, closing his eyes and relaxing into the pillow.
Within a minute, he was out cold. I was so grateful that my throat squeezed tight with emotion. I couldn’t disappoint my omega if he was asleep.
And fuck, he was actually my omega now, not just for pretend. We’d bonded. Bonding with someone you hadn’t already spent years with was exceptionally rare. I only knew of one case of a pair that had bonded instantly, a couple from the Dark Fantasies Club who were perfectly matched.
Did that mean Linus and I were perfectly matched? Were we just so compatible that Nature hadn’t waited in binding our souls together for life? The term “fated mates” was old-fashioned and quaint, but maybe it was real, too.
It couldn’t be, though. Linus was too good for me. I had a dark streak a mile wide. I’d played some pretty intense scenes with over a dozen omegas in the last few years. As far as I knew, Linus wasn’t even kinky. The omega auction had scared the shit out of him.
It had scared him because he didn’t know what was going on, I reminded myself. I had the impression my omega had never really explored his sensual side. He’d been perfectly okay with the light bondage I’d used on him during some of his earlier waves. And he’d turned the tables on me and dominated me big time during that last wave, even if he didn’t know it.
I growled softly, then huffed through my nose. I was justifying things, making excuses for the bond that I couldn’t just explain away. I couldn’t do anything about it, really. We’d bonded, and that was that. And yeah, there were ways that bonds could be severed, but they were cruel and damaging. Just the thought of that filled me with revulsion.
I wasn’t even a little sleepy by the time my knot went down. Linus’s womb had let my tip go, too, so I pulled away gently, careful not to wake my exhausted omega, and slipped out of bed like a thief trying to get away with something.
The house was quiet but for the patter of the rain that had started in the last half hour against the windows and an occasional gust of wind. I visited the bathroom to quickly clean up, then popped briefly back into Linus’s bedroom to fetch the robe I’d been using and to check on him.
My omega was fast asleep, and he was stunningly beautiful. He looked so sweet and innocent with his cheek pressed into the pillow, despite the crust of my cum drying by the corner of hismouth. His body was hidden by the blanket, but I remembered what it looked and felt like so well.
More than just the physical, I could feel his goodness and his light. Sleep dampened our new bond, so I couldn’t make out anything more than general impressions of him. I had the feeling that when he was awake and we were in close proximity, I’d be able to tell what he was feeling.
He’d be feeling disappointment, I was sure. I tip-toed out of the room, shutting the door behind me. Once in the hall, I put on the robe, tied it, and headed downstairs to get a glass of water. As soon as Linus realized what had happened between the two of us outside of the intensity of heat, he’d be horrified. He’d be able to see right into me and know I wasn’t stable enough to be who he needed me to be.
“You look like you’ve just had your world rocked and your brain is still scattered,” Fenn greeted me as I entered the kitchen.
I was surprised to see him there, but then again, our omegas seemed to be in sync for their heats.
“You don’t look like you’re having as much fun as I am,” I said, deflecting as much as I could away from me.
Fenn sighed and rubbed a hand over his face, then continued making coffee, which is what he’d been doing when I’d walked in. “Lucas is a demanding omega, but nothing I haven’t handled before. At least, his heat isn’t anything I haven’t handled before.”
I jumped on the chance to steer the conversation as far away from me as I could. “You didn’t tell us everything about what the police are planning, did you,” I said, walking around the kitchen island and busying myself by grabbing a mug from the cupboard so I would be ready for coffee, too.
“No,” Fenn said, clicking the coffeemaker on, then leaning against the island so we could talk. “There’s not too much more than what I said, though.”
“Tell me,” I said, desperate for some kind of control.
Fenn studied me for a moment, like he knew something was out of the ordinary. “The special investigation unit really is scrambling to put together an operation to catch the Dumfries gang, but it takes time to dot all the Is and cross all the Ts for things like this. They have to make dead certain anything they do can’t be considered entrapment by a judge, which would have the whole thing thrown out. They’re going to need help on our end, too.”
“You mentioned that.” I frowned, more because I felt Linus stir a little upstairs than because of anything my brother had said. “What kind of help?”
Fenn shrugged. “They said they’d let me know once everything is in place. My guess is that they’ll need Lucas to proceed with the exchange as if nothing is out of the ordinary so they can catch the Dumfries operatives in the act. If they just show up and the trap is sprung too soon, there will be too much plausible doubt about whether they’re actually doing a handoff. If they claim they don’t know who Lucas is or that they moored at the wrong dock or something, the only person who would be indicted for illegal arms would be Lucas. And Linus, since he’s on the property,” Fenn added. “Possibly you, too.”
I sucked in a breath and reached for my omega through our bond without realizing what I was doing. As soon as I “touched” him, I pulled back, surprised at myself. Yes, I was protective of Linus. Even more now that we were bonded. That didn’t mean I was comfortable with suddenly having an omega in my life.
I’d been silent for too long, and I guessed that I had a weird expression on my face. Fenn studied me with a frown, his head tilted slightly to one side. “You okay?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I lied, then cleared my throat. I needed more distraction. “What do the police want us to do to help?” I’dalready asked the question, but my brain was having a devil of a time focusing.
Fenn definitely knew something was out of the ordinary. “We have to get Lucas to go through with the handoff,” Fenn repeated himself. “Something isn’t right with you.”
I blew out a breath and scrubbed my hands through my hair. I wasn’t going to be able to hide this from Fenn. We were close and always had been. We were the only immediate family that the other had left. I’d never hidden anything from him before, not even my involvement in the DFC.
