Iwas probably just a bit too dominating with Linus during that next wave. I hadn’t liked overhearing Fenn telling my omega—my temporary omega—about the crash and about the difficulties I still had dealing with the memories. I’d hated the look of sympathy that had come over Linus as he’d learned about my weaknesses.
And yet, a part of me loved it. I loved the kindness and compassion in Linus’s eyes as he listened to Fenn. It made me want to drop to my knees in front of Linus, wrap my arms around his lithe body, and rest my head against his stomach as he hugged me back and played with my hair.
That need was so loud within me that the only way I felt like I could drown it out was to exert all my Dom skills through Linus’s next wave. I took him on his stomach, gripping one of his hips hard enough to leave marks and holding his head firmly on the mattress as I had my way with him, knotting hard and filling him with cum.
I was overly aggressive and I knew it, but judging by the way Linus went limp in complete surrender and the mindless, keening sounds of pleasure he made as I invaded the most vulnerable parts of him, he liked it.
My good, sweet, shy omega. The sweet man who I was beginning to see didn’t think that much of himself. He loved being fucked like a sex toy and left shuddering through aftershock orgasms once the wave ended.
I might have to keep him.
The thought floated through my hazy mind as the two of us lay on the bed, still joined by my knot, drifting in the half-asleep bliss of the afterglow. It was the wrong thought to have. I barely knew Linus. He had a whole life and so did I. This wasn’t the ancient days, where an alpha could swoop in and claim an omega without really getting their consent. I was a control freak, and that extended to not robbing anyone else of control.
But fuck, I wanted him.
“I don’t think any less of you, you know,” Linus said softly, just as I was tempted to fall asleep in earnest.
My eyes popped open, and I was suddenly fully awake. “Hmm?” I grunted, even though I knew what he was going to say.
Linus shifted slightly, turning to look at me over his shoulder. He rested one hand on my thigh, possibly as a way to give himself leverage. I felt like his handprint would burn its way into my body forever.
“I don’t think you’re weak or damaged or anything because you’re still affected by something that happened when you were a kid,” he said in the gentlest, most beautiful voice.
I wanted to wrap myself in the cotton wool of that voice and in Linus’s sweet omega scent for the rest of my life.
Instead, I frowned. “It was a long time ago,” I argued. “I’m a grown-ass, thirty-year-old man. I shouldn’t still have nightmares over?—”
I stopped, immediately sensing I’d said too much when Linus drew in a short breath and his eyebrows went up.
“You have nightmares?” he asked, so tenderly.
I nodded, feeling unaccountably small. Like a ten-year-old who had just lost everything.
My knot had gone down, and with a soft moan and a wriggling motion, Linus pulled away, then flipped so he was facing me. He rushed back into my arms, and since I wanted him there so badly, I embraced him with my whole body.
He didn’t react like he was trapped, even though he probably was. “I’m sorry,” he said, resting his hand on the side of my face. “That must be really hard.”
It’s not hard as long as you’re here with me.
I didn’t voice that thought. It was too raw and too shocking to me. I wasn’t a touchy-feely kind of guy outside of my work. I saved my compassion and my empathy for my clients and the people who needed me. I didn’t have any left for myself.
Instead, I said, “That’s why I got into kink and the Dark Fantasies Club. It’s sort of a way of regaining control.”
“Like a martial arts discipline?” Linus asked, surprising me with his understanding.
“A bit like that,” I said, then voiced the thoughts I’d had earlier. “It’s not just about controlling an omega during a play scene. It’s about controlling myself and my emotions as well.”
“That makes sense,” Linus said.
“I’m glad you understand,” I answered him with a smile, wincing over how inadequate those words felt.
Linus blinked and studied me for a moment like I’d revealed some great secret. I hadn’t really said anything, but it was like hecould see into my soul, see the pain and the lies I told myself to cover it up.
“Saint, I know we don’t actually know each other all that well,” he said, lowering his head slightly and looking up at me through his lashes in that way he’d done in the kitchen that drove me wild. “I feel like we do have a connection, though,” he continued. “I feel like we?—”
“No!” The shout from across the hall was so loud that Linus jerked in my arms. I tightened my hold on him, glancing over my shoulder at the door, as Lucas continued to shout, “No, no, no, this can’t be happening!”
“Uh oh,” Linus said.
