“There was no alternative. We…had to get rid of him before he got rid of us. I know it pains you, Elsie. You wouldn’t be who you are…if you didn’t have such a kind heart.” He pauses as he speaks, as if choosing his words oh-so-carefully. “It’s one of thethings I like best about you. Knowing that you care so much makes me want to try harder.”
What he says makes sense. It’s just that I’ve murdered someone now, and I’m going to be hearing the wet push of the blade in my nightmares. “I know. It doesn’t make it easier, but I know.” I lean in and put my head against his chest. “Do we have to meet with Belara? She’s so…ugh.”
“We don’t have to. Of course not. We don’t have to do anything.”
There feels like a “but” is hanging in the air. “But it’s not smart to piss off a goddess?”
“If she doesn’t get her way, I do think she’ll take it out on the locals. Or she’ll find out who you are close to and go after them. That’s how Belara operates. She’s pettiness in a very lovely package.”
That’s even worse. I would expect her to come for us if we pissed her off. Knowing that she would go after Omos or Metta or anyone else just fills me with incoherent rage. “What do you think she wants?”
“Now that I’ve absorbed my other Aspect again, I have his thoughts.”
“You…do?”
Kalos pauses, considering. “Well, most of them. They’re like vague memories. Dreams, perhaps…not that I dream.” He gives me a faint smile and moves across the room to where a pile of clothing has been set out. He picks up a dress, holds it up, and tosses it aside in favor of the one below it. “Wear this. You look good…in blue.”
Like I care which color I wear to meet Belara? But…I also don’t want to look like a hag that just rolled out of bed when I stand next to her. I take the dress from him and pull it over my head. “What were the memories like?”
“A lot of lies.” He huffs. “So many that I discount most ofthem entirely. But I do know she was playing games. She was manipulating my other Aspect, teasing about our old relationship. Trying to make him fall in love with her again.”
And now he has those memories. And he might have feelings for her. I swallow hard. “And…?”
“My other self was very aware of her. He knew what she was up to and didn’t trust her.”
But he was stillwithher, and I suspect there were some feelings bubbling to the surface. This is going from bad to worse, because that was just another facet of Kalos, right? Now that he’s “re-absorbed” it, he still has those feelings, doesn’t he? Am I going to watch Belara slowly steal him away from me?
I want to vomit.
“What’s her goal?” I ask, lacing the front of the dress with shaking fingers. “Do you know what she wants?”
“She’s worried about Seth. He destroyed an Aspect of Riekki to the east. No one’s heard of Anali this Anticipation and there’s concern it might be due to Seth. Belara worries he’s targeting the goddesses because he views them as softer, easier to defeat. Belara wants allies so she doesn’t fall prey to him. She’s still targeting her other Aspects, but she wants to avoid him.”
“Having met Seth, I’d say it’s a wise response.”
“Indeed. At any rate, she’s going to try and woo me—us—because I haven’t ascended yet. She’s going to pry at our unfinished business.” His mouth works, and for a moment, he looks frustrated.
It must be annoying having to work around Belara again after all this time. Poor Kalos.
I finish lacing the dress and get to my feet. Kalos hands me a pair of slippers with a drawstring, and I put them on, tightening the drawstring laces so the shoes stay on my feet. “Whatunfinished business?”
“You know.” His mouth works, and he frowns.
That makes me pause. “Um, I really don’t. What unfinished business, Kalos?”
His mouth works again, and he growls, raking a hand through his hair and pacing. “You and I. Staying here…until…you…are…ready.”
The words sound slow and strange. I stare after him, worried. “Are you all right?”
“Fucking lies,” Kalos growls again. “I’m still re-absorbing and every so often, it hits me with the need to spout nothing but mistruths. Probably because I’m still in the mortal realm, so I’m having to follow the mortal rules for this form. It’ll go away in a few days.”
Oh. I watch him, worried. “Are you all right?”
“Feel like two angry goats shoved into a burlap sack, but I’ll manage.” He gives me a tight smile. “It’s your fault.”
I flinch.
“NOT your fault,” he corrects immediately. “Fuck. I’m sorry, love.”
