I move closer. Before I can think about what I’m about to do, I plunge my blade into the man’s back.
I…really expected there to be more resistance.
It’s like sinking a blade into a spongy roast. The man stiffens, making an audible gasp as blood floods down his clothing. I shove harder, pushing deep, and there’s a wet sound and feel to it that’s going to haunt my dreams.
He turns his head and stares at me, his upper lip wet with snot.
What have I done?
I can’t move. I’m frozen. I stare into the eyes of the person I’ve just murdered, my hands falling from the blade.
What if I’ve chosen wrong? What if this guy just has a runny nose? For a long, horrified moment, I think I’ve made a mistake. “Oh god, I’msosorry.”
A rough hand grabs my arm. I stare up at Liar-Kalos as he gazes down at me, his fingers like pincers. There’s an unholy light in his eyes as they flick over me, and he laughs.
It’s the most jarring laugh I’ve ever heard. Again, it sounds like my Kalos, but off, strange. Unsettling.
The man I’ve stabbed falls to the ground and as the crowd rushes around us, Liar-Kalos looms in, his face inches from mine. His eyes are feral with unholy light. “He doesn’t love you, you know.”
I flinch, trying to jerk my arm out of his grip.
Liar-Kalos grins obscenely, flashing his teeth at me.
I’m trapped. Something went wrong?—
As I twist in his grip, he fades out before my eyes, like a polaroid in reverse. I’m left alone in the plaza, shaking and trembling as panicked people rush around me.
My Kalos sweeps to my side, throwing his tattered cloak protectively over my shoulders. “Come, Elsie. You’re safe now.”
“I don’t feel safe,” I say, teeth chattering. I feel hollowed out inside. Destroyed. Tainted. I just murdered someone. “Wh-what about Belara? Won’t she attack?”
He strokes my hair back from my face. “She’s not my enemy. My enemy was him and now he’s gone.” A ghost of a smile crosses his face. “We’ve won.”
Won.
My Kalos has won. There’s no one else to be defeated, no more obstacles for him to return to his home. I should be celebrating, but it hasn’t truly sunk in, not yet. Someone races pastus in the plaza, elbowing me, and I move closer to his protective form. “What happens now?”
“I can ascend whenever I’m ready.”
I lick my lips. “When is that?”
“Whenyou’reready,” he says gently.
As in, when I’m ready to die, because I’m the thing tying him to this world. “I-I don’t think I’m ready yet.”
He nods and pulls me in close. I fall into his arms and let him stroke my hair, and all the while I shiver and shudder against him. “You take as long as you need, love.”
I shiver against his chest, but my head is too full. I can’t relax. “What about you? How are you? Do you feel different? Has anything changed?”
“Nothing of import.” He strokes my hair again. “Hush. We’ll talk about it later.”
There’s a tenderness to his tone that feels…new. I pull back and gaze up at him, searching his face. He looks the same, but some of the soft edges on him are gone. His eyes no longer look as sleepy. He seems more alert, his angles sharper. I could feel his Apathy before, just in looking at him. Now it feels as if some of it has been smoothed away, like he’s come into focus.
I don’t know what to make of it. The last thing I want is for him to change. I study his face harder, looking for signs of that other Kalos, his brittleness. All I see are green loving eyes as they gaze back at me. He cups my face in his hands and strokes my cheeks. “Everything’s going to be just fine.”
Easy for him to say.
Chapter
