“That’s the deal, remember?” I joke. When he doesn’t laugh, I sit up in bed. I’m still dressed—they’d offered me Belaran robes, but I think I’d rather be naked than wear something that shows allegiance to the enemy goddess. “It’s fine. You couldn’t help what happened. It’s my fault for pushing too far. We shouldn’t have risked it.”
He gives a small shake of his head that tells me he disagrees with me, but we don’t argue further. Instead, he stares out the window again. “Count on Belara’s people to make gardens everywhere. That one’s full of flowers designed to be pretty and nothing else. Not a single useful herb.”
I hug the pillow in bed. “I don’t think we can escape. It’s too far to jump and the hall is full of guards.”
“I’m sure that’s their plan.” Kalos indicates the room around us. “A charming prison is still a prison.”
My fingers twine in the silken tassel on the corner of mypillow. “Alithia wouldn’t say who wanted them to keep us here. Just that she had orders.”
“She doesn’t need to tell us. I know who, and I know why.”
That makes me blink. “You do?”
Kalos’s bleak expression turns even more grim. “I can feel my other Aspect approaching.”
My skin prickles and I break into a cold sweat. I should have known. That’s why we’ve been held captive. The enemy is on his way. “Why are Belara’s people working with your other Aspect and not you?”
“That is the question, isn’t it?”
“Is it possible he’s working with an Aspect of Belara?”
The sour expression on his face would be comical if we weren’t in such shit now. “The last time I spoke to Belara, I demanded for her to wed me. She laughed in my face and so I liquified the innards of her priests. That was two millennia ago. She hasn’t forgotten, but apparently this lot has.” He indicates the door. “Or else they wouldn’t be so quick to invite us in.”
I clutch my throat. I don’t know which part of that statement makes me more sick—that he proposed marriage to a goddess, or he slaughtered a bunch of people simply because of who they worshipped.
He sees my face and sighs heavily again. “And now you loathe me, too.”
Shaking my head, I try to form my thoughts. “I…I know it’s different when you’re a god and you don’t see people as people. I know we don’t think the same. I just…”
“I’m not proud of it. I was young and petulant and wanted to hurt her. I should have blessed the lot instead of killing them, because I’m lucky that my decision saved me from falling for her charms all over again.” He crosses his arms and stares out the window. “They weren’t people to me, not then. Ithink that’s why the High Father sends us down here over and over again. You forget so much over the course of the years as they pass. Time drifts by and you lose touch with reality. Here, we’re forced to come to terms with the world we’ve created.”
“And…?”
“And right now I’m thinking I should have been a bit more benevolent, because a temple full of devoted followers would come in very handy.”
“We’ll think of something,” I say automatically. “I’m not sure what, yet, but there’s bound to be a solution.”
Kalos pushes away from the wall, moving towards me. “You never give up, do you?”
I shake my head. “I can’t. All that’s holding my brain together is optimism and a bit of duct tape. Giving up unravels everything.”
He kneels on the floor next to the cot and puts his head in my lap. His arms go around me, and he pulls me closer. “Do you know, I have hated every single Anticipation that I have ever participated in. I have loathed them more than I loathe my brother, and that is saying a lot. And as Apathy, I should be completely and wholly miserable.”
My hands find his soft, tousled hair. “And…?”
“And I’m not even remotely miserable,” he says. “Not even a bit. The only part that makes me miserable is thinking that this has to end with your death.”
“We’ve always known that’s the deal,” I say softly again, even though it aches to think about. I agreed to do this to save my brother, not knowing if I’d get one day or a thousand. I’d make the same choice all over again without question, but I hadn’t planned on falling in love.
I hadn’t accounted for aching every time Kalos loses himself to the fugue, or the way my heart thrills when he smiles up at me.
If I had, I’d have never made the deal with Lachesis to bring me to the Afterlife on my home plane. I’d stay here with him forever, but my thread remains anchored to my world. There’s no undoing anything.
“My brother,” Kalos says in a slow, thoughtful tone.
“What about him? Do you think he’s coming? Is that why they want you alive?”
He lifts his head, meeting my gaze. “It’s not him. He’s already returned to his plane. But he’s the lord of death.” His arms tighten around me. “I can debase myself to him, demand that he release you to me after we’ve been parted. I’ll deal with him, find something he wants or needs. I don’t care if I owe him my throne, if it means I get you at my side.”
