“Monastery,” I manage, trying to fight between what my brain is telling me and the reality in front of my eyes. “Blood?—”
“There’s no blood,” Kalos reassures me. “It’s in your dream.”
“You left?—”
“I’m right here,” he says, and his voice is achingly gentle,his hands rubbing my arms. “You know I can’t leave you. You know Iwouldn’tleave you.”
I take a shuddering breath as the last tendrils of the dream lose their hold on me. It felt so real, but they always feel so very real. I rub my face and slap my cheeks to wake myself up fully. “I’m okay. Sorry to wake you, Omos.”
“It’s quite all right. You’re sure you’re well?” When I nod, the monk heaves a sigh of relief. “Then I’m back to sleep. Dawn waits for no one, and the goats get cranky when they’re not milked right away. Good night, then.” He pads back to his side of the house, behind all the shelves, and a moment later, I see the last bit of candlelight wink out.
“You didn’t apologize for waking me up,” Kalos murmurs with amusement. He’s still running his hands over me, as if somehow instinctively knowing I need his touch to keep me grounded.
“You don’t sleep,” I point out. “You just watch me, like a weirdo.”
He chuckles. “Can I help it if you’re the most interesting thing in the mortal realm?”
The aching sweetness of his words hits me like a punch in the gut. I’d been frantic when I thought he’d gone and I hadn’t had a chance to tell him how I feel. That he’d left without knowing that I love him. That I was full of regret because I should have said something sooner, no matter how ridiculous the idea is.
Gods don’t fall in love with mortals, but it doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t tell him how I feel. I’m allowed to be wildly in love with him, I decide. And I’m tired of sitting on it as if it’s a secret that shouldn’t be shared. Fuck that.
I lie down in bed and pull him down against me.
Kalos lets out a quiet huff of surprise, and when I kiss him,he chuckles. “I should wake you up from nightmares more often.”
“You always do,” I whisper. “You’re always there for me.”
“I don’t like seeing you scared.” His voice is as low as mine, his kiss a moment later achingly gentle. “So quit being scared, all right?”
“I love you,” I blurt out, and cringe in the darkness. Before he can reply, I put my fingers over his mouth. “You don’t have to say anything. I just want you to know that. I know we’re not from the same place. I know that this is all fleeting, and you’re going to go back to being a god and I’m just a mortal speck, but I don’t want to go further without telling you exactly how I feel. I love you, Kalos. I love you even when you’re acting spoiled, or when you’re lost in your fugue, because I want to make it better for you. I don’t want you to go through it alone. I want you to know I’m always here for you, too. Being here in this world with you has made me so happy. Even when things are falling to shit around us, I can look at you and I feel joy. And I wanted to tell you that, because it’s important to me. You’re important to me.”
“Elsie.” His hand is gentle as he cups my face. “My sweet Elsie. You are the greatest gift.”
I don’t know if that’s true. I imagine things are scaled differently when one is a god, and the greatest gift is probably nowhere near a lovestruck mortal declaring their love. But I don’t care. I can love him enough for both of us and enjoy every minute we have left together. I pull him close and kiss him fiercely again.
And I reach for the waist of the pants he always wears in bed.
He stiffens in surprise but doesn’t pull away. “You sure you want to do this now?” he murmurs against my lips. “With the monk listening?”
Omos is well over a hundred feet away with multiple shelves between us. “We’ll just have to be quiet. I’m not waiting until morning…or any longer. I want to be yours.”
“Silly thing. You were mine the moment you put your hand in mine.” He nips at my chin, all sweet kisses, and his hand hikes up the hem of my sleeping tunic. “Didn’t you know that?”
I hiss when his fingers skim over my pussy and I realize I’m wet already. I slide my legs open, inviting his larger body to cover mine. When he doesn’t right away, I lift my leg and hook my heel onto the back of his thigh, dragging him over me. My hands move to his waistband.
His hand covers mine. “You’re moving so fast, love. Don’t you want to go slower? Savor this?”
I shake my head. Savoring is for later. I’m feeling greedy at the moment. “Right now, I need you before I take my next breath. I’ve waited too long as it is.”
There’ll always be something else—another fugue day, or another Seth, or another room with no privacy. I’m tired of waiting for the perfect conditions. Nothing’s going to ever be perfect, and I’m fine with that. Nothing in life ever is—we make the best of what we have in the moment.
And in this moment, Kalos is with me in the dark, and I’m full of love for him.
I kiss him again, my tongue flicking against his as he pets my pussy, his fingers finding my clit and drawing little wet circles around it. I gasp and whimper a quiet protest when his hand abandons me, but in the next moment his weight is over me, and the heat of his length presses over my sex. He kisses me again, positioning himself. I spread my thighs wider, and he drags the head of his cock through my slick heat.
Just that sensation makes me clench up with hungry need.That feelsincredible.I dig my nails into his shoulder, biting back the urge to demand that he fuck me, and fuck me hard.
He pushes into me, hips rocking lightly. I suck in a breath, dazed by the sensation of him inside me. It feels as if he’s stretching my body out, fitting me to him. He feels big and perfect and so good that I want to claw at the blankets with how much I’m feeling.
