But the leave-taking was so hard.
And he thought of a hundred past bloody battles and a weariness claimed his soul—a weariness he could not deny.
Abruptly Devlin walked over to the bed. He made no move to wake her, but he stared at her angelic face, aware that he wished to memorize it. And for one moment, he thought about waking her.
But he did not. Her lure was too strong. Instead, he pulled the covers up to her shoulders. She sighed again in her sleep, and this time she smiled.
His heart lurched, aching within him.
The monster of fear came closer and seized him with a vengeance.
This woman was hiswife.This marriage could changeeverything.He stared down at Virginia and realized that in spite of all logic in his heart he wished that he were not leaving.
Which meant that it was time to go. Abruptly Devlin turned and left his sleeping bride, his strides hard and determined.
Later, his regret would be vast.
VIRGINIA DREAMED THATDevlin was gone.
She was in a sweet, happy place, warm and beloved, and suddenly she was chilled to the bone. Suddenly she was not in her bed, but she stood on some sandy shore, watching theDefianceas it sailed away. Horrified, afraid, Virginia cried out.
She blinked and found herself awake, quite naked and sitting up in bed. “Devlin?” She realized she had had a nightmare and relief washed over her.
But as she threw off the blanket, she saw that she was alone. “Devlin?” She began to feel hollow inside and sick with apprehension. She slid to the floor, beginning to shiver. The bronze clock on one bureau said it was half-past five that morning.
It was December 14.
Devlin was due to set sail that morning.
But he could not have left yet, without saying goodbye! Tearing a blanket from the bed and wrapping it around her, Virginia rushed to the sitting room, but it was vacant. Horrified, she raced into the bathing room and grabbed her wrapper. She saw a bowl of soapy water and his wet shaving brush sitting on the vanity; in the act of belting the robe, she froze.
The horror of her nightmare returned.
Virginia ran to the armoire and threw it open, dressing as quickly as she could without help. Clad in a pale green dress, shoes and stockings in hand, she ran downstairs, barefoot.
A housemaid was passing through the hall. “Rosemary! Where is the Captain? Has he left?”
The maid appeared surprised by her question. “He left a few minutes ago, madam.”
Virginia stood there, shoes and stockings dangling from her hands, stunned. He had left? He had left like that, without a word? But why hadn’t he said goodbye?
“I need the carriage,” she said sharply, her heart seeming quite wedged now in her chest, a painful, congealed lump. Acid burned. She sat down in a chair as the maid rushed out, pulling on her stockings and putting on her shoes.
So many memories assaulted her now—his smile, his soft laughter, the way he called her “little one” and “my darling,” the light of amusement as it sparked his eyes, the blaze of lust, and his lovemaking, at times hard and rushed, at other times soft and gentle. She thought of how he had held her as she fell asleep in his arms. She recalled his declaration that he would be a good husband to her.
She brushed away her tears. Why hadn’t he awoken her? Why hadn’t he said goodbye?
Another terrible time came to mind, a time when she had been loved by him with both urgency and tenderness, only to find him cold and indifferent the next day.
She was ill, about to retch. There was no possible way that Devlin could retreat now to that other, horrid place, a cold and heartless place where he had once before lived. The thought was unbearable—it could not possibly happen again.
She had to find him. She had to say goodbye. And she had to see him smile tenderly at her one more time, to know that they had passed safely through a terrible storm and that the light of a bright, gentle new day awaited them on the other side.
She could not survive the next six months otherwise.
A half an hour later her coach raced through the shipyard, passing stored containers, loaded wagons, cranes and crates. Longshoremen, civilians and sailors were busy everywhere. Virginia strained to see out of her window, and when her coach paused a moment later, she almost catapulted out.
A huge ship she did not recognize faced her. Other ships lined the docks, but none were theDefiance.And one berth, in their midst, was terribly empty.
