"How...," Ursula's green eyes were wide and disbelieving, but there wasn't a hint of vitriol or bitterness. She shook her head, her black hair moving over her shoulders and she said, "You're here. You're...here."
"It was time," Eloise said with another shrug but then both women were crying and laughing and years of sadness, shame, anger, worry, and wonder dissipated between them like cotton candy on the tongue.
Eloise fingered a lock of raven wing hair and smiled. "I like it. You look," she shook her head, taking her in, "wild. Happy."
Ursula linked her hand with Eloise's, and tugged her into the living room where they sat on a sumptuous cognac velvet couch. "Tell me everything," her friend said.
And she did. Mostly.
She told her of the years spent in Orlando, where she owned a small cafe and lived in an apartment that smelled like nothing and felt lifeless. The air was too cloying there, thick and handsy. "I regretted moving there almost immediately but it's what I chose and it's where I stayed."
"I cannot imagine you in Florida," Ursula said with an awed smile. Their eyes roved over each other as though they couldn't quite believe what they were seeing; looking for the person they once knew so intimately, clocking the changes.
"That's because I do not, and never have, belonged there. I wanted something so vastly different than the Midwest and that's where I landed. An older man was selling his coffeeshop that I had frequented while staying in a rent-by-the-week furnished apartment so I put an offer in and then it was mine." She shrugged, feeling a pang at the thought of the small shop she had put so much of herself into with the too-blue interior and bright white trim, the cracked tiles of the floor she was slowly replacing here and there and the white-topped fake wood tables from the 90's she was getting rid of and replacing one-by-one. And while she had loved creating her own place, it had never felt quite right. She'd have to figure out what to do with it now, but that was for another day. Her assistant manager had it covered for now.
"How long are you here for?" Ursula asked and then interrupted her own question before Eloise could give an unsure answer. "I'm making dinner for some friends. Will you help me and I'll put on tea?"
She smiled. "That sounds amazing," she said softly.
She found herself led into a large kitchen so cozy and whimsical she laughed. "This is you. This kitchen is perfectly Ursula," she said in wonder as she looked at the bronze gold animal cabinet pulls decorating the dark red cabinets with the black brick backsplash. The island was a work of art, large with a deep copper farmhouse sink and countertops of such a lovely, worn wood with nicks and scrapes that told of time and stories.
"Yeah, this house is...not exactly like other houses," Ursula said carefully as she filled a kettle and pulled down two mugs. One was a white ghost and the other was a black cat. She pulled out tins and placed things in the cups as silence filled the room. It was the silence of questions, hope, but most of all ease. It was safe. She wasn't sure she had felt this kind of quiet in a long time.
But even in the safety, there were questions and uncertainties. Would Ursula want her barging into her new, interesting adventure? Had too much time passed in silence between them? Had their last meeting created too much of a hole?
Eloise, of course, had these wonderings and thoughts flitting through her mind the two days it took to get here. She almost turned around at a gas station in a city named Ketchuptown, but when she got into her car, an unseasonably hot gust of wind pushed a strong smell of vanilla and sea salt through her window as though in a cajoling shove.
The moment that Ursula saw her, recognized her, there was an amazement on her face that Eloise hoped was joy. But humans were fickle creatures with what they said and what they felt, not always holding hands in agreement.
Once the mugs were steaming and placed on the island, Ursula leaned over the top across from her and smiled. Eloise held herself still.
"How long are you here for and please tell me forever."
And Eloise let out an embarrassing cry that sounded like a fox being wounded as emotion so deep and so worn came out of where it had been hunkered down for years inside of her. She cried and she couldn't stop. They were tears of absolute freedom, everything she had been holding hostage in her belly and soul releasing out and into the world so that she no longer had to carry the burden.
Ursula came around the island and hugged her gently. Their tea, which smelled like fresh spicy sweet herbs, sat untouched.
Ursula made dinner while Eloise hiccuped through more tears, unsure when it would stop but knowing there was a river inside of her.
Bread was baked, soup was stirred, and never once did Ursula make her feel like she had to stop crying.
Even the air around her felt warm and quite like an embrace.
It might have been an hour or two later, the sun was slowly descending and the back door opened to usher in a bounding, insanely large animal and an incredibly attractive man who looked like he lived on a mountain with his flannel and bootsand dark scruffy jawline. Ursula kissed him and whispered something to him before he graciously nodded with a kiss to her forehead before walking back outside.
The insanely large animal bounded up to where she sat at the island and she stared wide-eyed at the big brown eyes that were level with hers as he nudged his head, the size of a watermelon that required both arms to hold, into her chest. Because he could reach her chest without jumping. She looked up at Ursula as she lightly patted the wiry grey fur and Ursula laughed.
"This is Casper. I got him probably a month after," she let the sentence drop off.
"What is he? Is he...is half horse, half dog a thing?"
Ursula laughed again and told the dog to leave her alone to which he turned deaf, grey ears and settled into Eloise further. But Eloise didn't mind. She rather liked how he was pressing his thin body against hers as if he needed her comfort. She sniffled and a few more tears ran down her cheeks.
When Ursula sat next to her she wrapped her hand around Eloise's. "I want you to cry as much as you want or need. I have four friends coming over who I would love for you to meet, but if you'd rather some alone time I have many guest rooms and any of them are yours."
Eloise hiccuped and swallowed, nodding. She could feel her whole face was puffy and splotchy. "Could I freshen up and if I can't stop crying I will just lay in a bed for a while? I don't want to scare your friends. And we're talking about that," she pointed to where the handsome man had entered and exited moments ago, "later. In depth."
"Anything you want," was her soft reply with a coy smile. "But just so you know, these friends cannot be scared away by a few tears." She stood and her dog lifted his head from Eloise's lap. "Up we go. Follow me."
