"Oh yeah! The one man in law enforcement that Tilly thinks is hot," Kelsea joked. "And he is hot. Would you go on a real date with him?"
"He said he doesn't date," Eloise replied, looking into the fire, remembering his strangely familiar smell. "And I don't know. I tried. Dating isn't for me right now."
"Oh, pish posh!" Crystal said. She was wearing a wide, floppy-brim black hat with a leather bow around it. "You didn't try. You almost tried."
"You're perfectly happy without a man," Jen said pointing to Crystal.
"Who said I am without a man? I have many men."
"Damn it, you're so cool," Eloise whispered.
The women laughed and Jen smiled shaking her head, a look of respect on her face. "I do not doubt that. But, you don't make them the point. I mean, you don't center yourself around a relationship, is what I mean."
Crystal put a small foot up on the wide ledge of the stone bonfire as she sipped her tea. "What women need to learn, and at a young age," she pointed to Bess who smiled, "is that you don't center your life around a romantic relationship. If you're lucky and it's a once-in-a-lifetime relationship, you naturally put each other first and whatever you take care of lasts. It's so much more simple than we are led to believe."
"And none of these many men in your life are your once-in-a-lifetime relationships?" Ursula asked. She and Eloise's chairs were turned so that they could put their feet in each other's laps under a thick flannel blanket.
"Oh, I already had my once-in-a-lifetime. Story for another time, but that was enough for me. The memories of him andme," she leaned her head back and smiled the kind of smile that spoke of starlight and love, "they still fill me up when I need."
"I want to be you when I grow up," Kelsea said.
"Oh fucking cheers to that, ladies," Jen said raising her mug of tea into the air.
"But like, what if you really like a guy and he makes you feel...you know, like special. And then you think you have this special thing and then when he loses interest in you he makes you feel not special?" Bess's question was exactly the question sixteen-year-old girls started wondering and asking, but rarely did they have the kind of audience of sage understanding that Bess did here underneath the sparkling northeastern sky with the smell of sugared peaches, growing grass and the promise of acceptance.
This was a unique space, the kind all women should search their world to find: a handful of women who think you're magnificent and let you know it unequivocally. Before these kinds of women gather together they fill their pockets with gentle words and reminders of each other's worth. And usually, there is fantastic food involved.
Ursula and Eloise shared a smile knowing exactly what Bess was asking.
Can you give pieces of yourself without losing too much? How do you protect yourself from the uncertainty of another person, who may not have been taught to handle a heart with delicate hands and intention?
"If someone ever makes you question your worth, my dear," Crystal was leaning forward, a stern but open look on her face. "You lift your beautiful head up and you walk away. Relationships are an investment. If you look down one day and realize you're the only one investing, cash out your portion and leave."
Eloise watched Ursula swallow a lump, knowing what her friend was thinking. When she caught her thoughtful eye she winked pulling a sad smile from her.
"Is there a jerk jerking you around?" Jen asked.
"Yeah," Eloise said with a raised eyebrow. "You let us know and we'll hex him."
"I thought you weren't hexing anymore?"
"Well, we're definitely not drinking Crystal's margaritas anymore," Ursula said to a groaning Jen, Tilly and Kelsea.
"You're all wimps. My margaritas are basically medicinal," she defended with a lilt in her voice.
"If by medicinal you mean they are a gut cleanse and train you to not eat or move or breathe too quickly," Jen said with a look of pained memory on her face.
"Or open your eyes or hear any sound above a whisper without your whole head exploding," Tilly added, her face taking on a slight pale hue at the memory.
Kelsea sat forward with a pained smile. "I'm still in my twenties, so it wasn't as bad for me, but yeah, your margaritas are more lethal than anything I had in college. And we didn't measure anything."
"Okay, but the point is that no, we're not drinking Crystal's margaritas, and we also don't hex unless we all vote."
Eloise raised a hand. "Ohhh, is it bad I kind of hope something comes up and we all vote to hex someone? I mean, I did join the coven and have yet to do anything truly witchy."
"Not at all. Hexing is great. Unless you jokingly hex yourself," Jen pursed her lips staring at two cats lazily walking between their chairs. Sulphur was curled up against Casper's side and lifted her head, blinked at Jen then went back to sleep.
"Yeah, think we can ever undo that?" Kelsea asked no one in particular. Jen shrugged.
