I make my way to the front door and press the buzzer. I can hear it ringing inside. It sounds a long way away. My heart pounds in my chest. Through the glass I see someone approaching the door and I’m both glad and frustrated. Part of me wanted there to not be an answer so I could put this off. But no. Asher opens the door.
“Alyssa.” He sounds… strangely neutral.
“I want to apologize.” I say, I might as well launch straight into it. “I should never have lied to you. I shouldn’t have kept my fighting life from you.” I stop, still panicking, and the silence stretches between us.
“Do you wanna come in?” He says, eventually.
“Yes.”
He opens the door wider and stands out of the way so I can pass. The frat brother I saw last time I was here — Corbin? — is nowhere to be seen. I don’t know if that’s a good thing.
Asher gestures for me to go up the stairs. He follows me up the stairs and trails me to his room. I hesitate at the closed door, but Asher pushes it open and waits for me to go in. It’s nothing like the last time I was here. I hope I can fix this.
“What did you want to say?” Asher asks as he sits down on the bed. I stay standing, awkwardly moving my weight from foot to foot like I’m in a fight.
I love you.
It’s almost out of me before I can stop it. I raise my uninjured arm, covering my mouth with my fingertips.
“I’m sorry, and I, uh,” I swallow hard, not looking at him. “I think I love you, and I don’t want this to be the end.”
“The end?” He asks.
“Of us…” This is it. He’s going to break my heart. I lower my hand and look at the floor, feeling my fingers balling into a fist. My useless right hand hangs limply at my side, wrist throbbing dully. I didn’t take my painkillers this morning. Just what I needed.
Asher pats the bed beside him. I look up, confused. He does it again. “Sit down.” He tells me. I don’t know what to say so I just sit down next to him.
Gently he takes my hand, my left, and kisses my knuckles. “I accept your apology. And you’re right, you should have told me. But you’re also wrong, because this isn’t the end.”
“What?” I’m not sure what I’m hearing.
“I’m not letting you walk away, Alyssa. I want this too. I want you, fights and all.” He says earnestly.
My eyes begin to burn with the beginnings of tears. I blink them away rapidly, looking away.
“Come here,” he says, holding his arms out as if to embrace me. I shuffle around slightly and lean in, wrapping me in his arms, he lays us down on the bed. “It’s alright you know. I get it. My brother wasn’t too eager to tell people either at first.”
“Really?”
He shrugs. “He didn’t want people to think he was a brainless thug.”
“That makes sense.” I say quietly. It was a bad rep that a lot of the guys got. “I didn’t want people to see me differently, because I’m a woman who fights. And people always worry so much. All they see is a girl, not a fighter. I didn’t want that for us.”
I feel an errant tear creep down the side of my face and soak into his t-shirt. I hope he doesn’t notice. Asher kisses the top of my head and I tilt my face up to him. I wriggle up the bed a little, until we’re face to face.
“I think I love you too, Alyssa.” Asher breathes, just moments before he presses his lips to mine.
Propping myself up on my elbow, I lean into the kiss, feeling his lips part beneath mine. I don’t care what he’s said in the past, I know where I want this to lead today. I’m ready. I think we’re ready too. Besides, he got his date, anyway.
I trail my fingers across the hard, smooth plane of his stomach, inching his shirt up with my not-fractured hand. Opening my eyes, I see his eyes flick downwards, and then back up to meet my gaze. His long dark lashes brush the soft skin beneath his eyes as he closes them again. His tongue darts across my lips, and brushes across my own.
Asher holds me tight to him with one arm and slowly, carefully so as not to jostle my fractured wrist, he flips us over so I’m lying on my back, beneath him as he rests on his elbows. I’ve never been the kind of person to submit to someone else, but right here, I feel so small and safe that I’d do anything he wanted.
With our bodies pressed so close together, I can feel my heartbeat speeding up. I want this. I want him. The intensity of the kiss increases. One of his hands is tangled in my hair, the other hooks around my right thigh and lifts my legs around his waist. His hips lie over mine, and I can feel his hardness through his jeans. A blush rises to my cheeks, a smile curling across my lips. I nip his bottom lip with my teeth to catch his attention.
“Are you gonna take those off?” I ask, meeting his eyes again. The huskiness of my voice surprises me.
“Do you want me to?” He asks, nuzzling into my neck and nipping the tender skin there,
