Alyssa
Islowly clear my throat; it feels as dry as the Sahara desert. I hear my name being called but it sounds so far away. With my eyes closed I can’t see anything, but trying to open them is another level of pain I’m not prepared to handle.
After a few minutes, the voices grow louder and it’s all I can do to focus on them. I hold onto them, letting them drag me back to the real world. My eyes begin to flutter. Happy that I got some reaction to my body, I push further and slowly open my eyes.
At first glance the light above me is bright, everything is bright. I try again, and again. Until my eyes finally adjust. The further I glance around the room, the more I wish for a pit to open up below my feet and swallow me whole.
First I see the Octagon doctor, then Cam and Stefan, finally Asher stands at the end of the cot. All have a look of worry but I can see the upset I’ve also caused. I clear my throat again trying to talk. The doctor hands me a plastic cup full of water, I assume.
Taking small sips, my throat slowly begins to feel less scratchy. “What happened?”
The last thing I remember, I was landing a power hit to Nicola’s sternum. From what I remember of the fight; she was good.
“You were in a match against Nicola Beet. You got a blow to the head, you were fine at the time but after the match you had started wobbling around and then you completely collapsed. Lucky doc was standing by.”
Oh, hmm that’s the second time that’s happened. I don’t deal with blows to the head too well, but damn it. I’m never going to live this down. I’ll be lucky if Stefan ever backs me in a fight again.
“Who won?” As I watch Stefan scoff and roll his eyes, Cam turns to leave the room. Asher follows soon after him. Well, it seems like even my triumph hasn’t scored me any brownie points with either of them.
“Yeah, those boys aren’t pleased.” He says. “Hell, Aly, I’m not pleased. What the hell happened out there?”
“I… I got distracted.” I feel embarrassed admitting that I let my guard down. If only Stefan knew what, or whom, I got distracted by. He’d easily fall into a fit of eternal laughter.
After a moment of shame, I swivel my head to the doctor. “So, what’s the damage?”
“A fractured wrist; it’s only minor. A few bruises here and there, but that’s it, no concussion.”
Phew!
Relief lifts the weight from my shoulders. A wrist will heal in no time at all. The doctor straps it into a brace and instructs me on a proper painkiller regimen.
“Can I sit up?” I ask. I always like to check with the doc if I can move or not, I don’t want to bring more pain upon myself if I can help it.
The doc checks his watch and slowly nods his head. I slowly lift myself up onto my elbows as Stefan and the doctor talk. “She just needs to take it easy for a few weeks. No fights, no training until that wrist is healed.”
“Oh, I’ll be seeing to that.” He tells him while looking at me with thatdisagree-and-there-will-be-serious-consequenceslook in his eyes.
I huff an annoyed breath but begrudgingly nod.
“Come on, kid. I’ll drive you home.”
“Thanks, doc.” I say as I move to stand from the bed. Stefan grabs my bag from the chair as he leads me out of the room and to the back exit.
The drive home is quiet and nerve wrecking. I don’t even feel like I am there. I feel alone with my mind. And I don’t know if that is good or not. I know that I desperately need to sort myself out. To sort my feelings out. I am not sure what I should do about Asher, should I chance it or not?
I blink up at Stefan, who’s holding my door open. Taking a quick look around I see we’re parked in front of Cam’s single storey. I slowly get out of the car, still feeling disoriented I walk to the door. I glance back at Stefan, leaning against the car. I can’t return his smile, not just yet anyway. I have to prepare myself for what I’m about to walk into.
I go straight to the bathroom, ignoring the curious looks of the guys who’re on the sofa. I need a hot muscle-melting shower to see me right. That’s all.
Returning to my room after my shower I flop onto my bed. I’m so tired but wired at the same time. I don’t know if Cameron is home yet, or if he even fought his match, but right now, I don't care. He walked away, stormed away from me, for what?
I push him out of my mind. Whatever his problem is, we can deal with it later.
Asher, on the other hand...
Understandable, he’s pissed. I didn’t tell him about this huge, dangerous part of my life.
I’m being a bit dramatic but it’s a big thing to think about. It’s the biggest risk I may ever be presented with. I’m scared. There are just so many feelings rushing around inside of me; all positive, and all directed towards him. I can easily see myself falling for him, but will he be there to catch me? I’ve dated before but I’ve never cared. With him I care, and that’s what scares me the most.
Suddenly a thought hits me. If Asher were “the one” or whatever and I let him pass me by would I get another chance at love? Or would I grow old and bitter because I was alone? Like my mother. No matter how bad of a mother she is I know she’s lonely inside, and I’d hate for that to be me.
That’s all it takes to convince me. Why not give love a try. I’m scared - no, petrified. There I said it. But what is life without love?
