I had practice in the morning, I knew I couldn’t risk another reaming by the coaches. And if my manager got wind of another drink-related incident, I had more to worry about than a few extra hours in the gym. Frost had made it clear that I needed to tread lightly.
I could’ve kicked myself just to check if this were real.
It felt like only minutes ago that I’d been on the top of the world, felt like I was flying.
And now I was falling… I desperately needed to find a way out of this black hole. It had been one thing after another, pulling me in deeper. One shitstorm after the next.
I didn’t know how much more I could take before I finally broke, finally said fuck it and not give a shit about anything anymore. But- I didn’t know, was I ready to turn my back on baseball?
I’d never thought about it before, retiring had never been on the cards for me, at least not anytime soon. I’d always thought when I finally went it would be them forcing me out, or the more terrifying, an injury.
Hell.
Maybe it was time for me to start thinking of retirement. It was a sad thought, but the truth was that baseball wasn’t the same. The game didn’t bring me the same joy it did when I was in college. Fuck it. It was becoming more of a struggle each week.
I knew that had a lot to do with the outside shit I was going through, but something had to give.
With a somewhat clearer mind, I jumped in my car and took a detour. I soon pulled into the parking lot behind the club. I didn’t even question it. I knew where my mind wandered in its downtime, I’d given up questioning it and given up fighting it. There was no point.
I was drawn here. To the club, to Melody. It felt like the most natural thing in the world.
Every time I stepped foot in the club the need to hide my presence from Melody started to slip further and further away. It didn’t seem important anymore - no longer necessary. And so, with each passing day, I grew bolder.
Tonight, something had shifted. I was ready to face her head-on, my burning need to be close to her would not be ignored any longer.
Maybe we’d just talk. Maybe we could become friends and joke about old times, who knew. It sure would’ve been nice to at least clear the air between us.
But was telling her about the regret I felt for walking away six years ago right? It didn’t seem like a very friendly thing to do.
She needed to know. And I vowed that sooner or later, she would.
I barely paused long enough to flash the bouncer my ID before pushing through the big charcoal door into the club. For a Thursday night, the lights were flashing and the music was pumping. It was what I called ‘vibe’ music, it was more slow beats than actual lyrics. Grabbing a seat at the end of the bar, I didn’t hesitate to seek out my Melody. And there she was talking to a few of the dancers at the side of the stage. I watched from afar, perking up when she separated herself from them.
Quickly, I followed as she disappeared through to the back corridor. Already I was imagining being all alone with her, locked away in her office. But instead, she stopped short…
I emerged from the shadows and stepped up behind Mel as her hand grasped the door handle in front of her. This wasn’t her office but all I could do was hope for the best. “Have you missed me?”
She spun on her heel, her eyes wide. Her mouth parted, which brought my attention to her luscious lips. It must’ve been minutes that we stood in silence. I waited for her to yell, to push me away but it never came. If I didn’t know any better I’d have thought she was paralyzed.
Instead, I took advantage of her shock by stepping even closer, pressing my body against her until she was trapped between me and the door. My hands captured her hips and slid up her waist.
I knew immediately that that was a mistake. Melody blinked at me, seeing me with a renewed vision before her eyes began to sear into mine.
Her mouth opened, her tongue darting out to dampen her lips. In a split-second decision, I captured her lips with mine, while also swallowing up the words I knew were on the tip of her tongue - the inevitable refusal.
We stood frozen. I assumed she was in shock, while I was reveling in the feel of her. That familiar addictive taste of her lips on mine. It took a minute but finally, her walls started to crumble as her hands reached up to touch my shoulders. The weight of her hands on my shoulders, solidified the moment. Grounding me in the moment. Her fingertips traced the sides of my neck before moving into the thick strands of hair at the back of my head.
My hands, still clutching her waist, gave her a slight squeeze as I pulled myself impossibly closer. Our bodies crushed together, almost squished as if contained by invisible glass walls.
Mel’s hips tilted, creating slight friction against my jeans causing her to moan. At the sound, I groaned. It had been so long since I’d heard that luscious noise. I had missed it, and I craved to hear it again.
With my hand on the doorknob, I pushed the door open. I wasn’t sure what was hidden behind the door but I was sure to find out. Melody took a step back and I followed quickly, closing the door behind me to find that we were in a supply closet.
I couldn’t have imagined a better door to push Mel up against, except maybe a hotel room door - but in a strip club, my options were pretty limited. And my opportunities to catch Mel alone even more so.
The door didn’t have a lock but maybe it had been better that way. The higher the risk, the hotter the sex.
The room was small but well lit. I scanned Melody where she stood across from me, straining to be as far away from me as the small room would allow. The unsure look was making its way back to her eyes but from head to toe, her skin was flushed.
