“Anastasia?”
An involuntary flinch of surprise jolted through me. I hadn’t expected her to answer the door, I figured it a rare occasion that she did anything for herself. Especially at this hour of the day — it was the middle of the morning, shouldn’t she be working on the family business? Whatever that was… Either way, I felt a sliver of ease at a vaguely familiar face. No matter what her motives were, I was certain that I was wanted here.
“Rachel.”
As I said her name, her face tightened slightly. If I didn’t know any better I would have thought that hearing her only daughter call her by her first name stung a little. But the truth was that I didn’t know her all that well. The woman who stood in front of me was family in name only, I supposed now was the perfect time for her to prove herself.
“What are you doing here? Not that I’m not happy to see you, dear.” A wide but tentative smile stretched across her face as she pulled the door open further. “Would you like to come in?”
Tears of fear, of exhaustion, prickled at the backs of my eyes. I had to get inside, I had to before I made a fool of myself on her doorstep.
“I had nowhere else to go,” I confessed, there was an edge of desperation to my voice that surprised even me. With a piteous look, she took my hand and led me into the living room, letting the door swing closed behind us. I dropped the bags from my shoulders and perched myself uneasily on the couch next to her. The room was immaculate, as it had been the last time I was here — with Nikolai when he had found my birth parents for me, at my request.
“Is something wrong?” Rachel asked, in a calm voice that told me she was used to dealing with crises. Though I’m not sure finding her estranged daughter with two bags of belongings on her doorstep was something she had experienced before.
“I don’t even know where to start.” I half-laughed as a shrug lifted my shoulders and I gestured vaguely around me. Everything felt wrong. I didn’t know where to turn or how to put any of it into words.
Rachel gave me a sympathetic smile. “Well then. How about instead, you tell me how I can help?”
“I know there are certain strings attached but I need somewhere to stay,” I said cautiously. I know that me staying here would make it difficult for Rachel and Kaleb in one way or another. Either Nikolai would find me and things would get heated or, more likely their other child, Ambrose, who already seemed to hate me, would resent my presence and make things unpleasant.
“Of course dear.” There was hesitation on her face. Obviously, I of all people, understood how much of a fucked up situation they’d put me in. But still, I wasn’t about to make it any easier on her. “So...does that mean you’ve thought about what we discussed?”
“Yeah,” I cleared my throat as I struggled to hold in a resigned sigh. Instead, I chewed my bottom lip into my mouth. I could already feel regret settling in. Coming here might’ve just been the most stupid decision I’d ever made.
I hated that I couldn’t see any other options, no other ways around this, no matter how wild. I’d thought through everything, this was the only way.
I didn’t have any other choice at that moment in time.
“Yes, Rachel, I have thought about what we discussed and I accept your terms.” I blinked at her as I tried to compose myself. I didn’t want to be here, I didn’t want to accept their stupid terms, but if this was my only way in… “I’m ready to come home.”
Rachel swept me up into a hug. I tried to reciprocate but my heart just wasn’t in it. For the first time all day, I felt as though the weight had lifted from my chest. But maybe it didn’t lift at all, maybe it just sank, anchoring my feet to the ground. I could finally breathe but at what cost?
Rachel continued talking, her mouth spewing so many words, and so much information at me. Exhausted I caught bits and pieces, nodding when it seemed appropriate. She mentioned something about a welcome home party, too tired to fight her she went into detail. It was going to be a long day and it was barely lunchtime.
As if on cue, Rachel called for the maid to start on lunch, alerting her to the fact that there would be a guest today, and for the foreseeable future. I’m sure I was given a name but I didn’t catch it.
One dangerous situation turned into another — I had leapt from the frying pan and into the fire. I just hoped this would all be worth it, in the end. I released a sigh as my heart broke just a little bit more.
