It was weird to think that I had a family out there that I’d never met, never spoken to, that might’ve had ties to Anastasia’s family. After all, as far as I knew, the King’s and the Russo’s were still prominent in the Philadelphia area.
I’d never thought much about my extended family. I hadn’t ever felt the need to. I had my brothers, my grandmother and my parents - although not always the warmest, had their moments. We’d never needed anyone else. I even felt guilty for that, all my life we’d had so much more than Anastasia, and yet we turned them away. She had been caught with the worst luck.
The Varela’s were a pretty big deal in Philadelphia, it would’ve been harder to track down a fish in a fish tank. It had taken me longer to build the nerve to tell Anastasia that I’d found her parents. I didn’t know what exactly it was that was holding me back.
It could’ve been the major impact this would have on Anastasia. Could I really go through this again? I had hated her ‘father’ and ‘aunt’ for how they’d treated her. In my overall opinion, families were bullshit. The people you trusted the most were often the ones to hurt you the most.
I didn’t want to see her get hurt. Again.
It could have been my jealousy rearing its ugly head, but could it be worse if they were good to her? She could easily become attached, they were her parents after all. They would eat up all of her time wanting to get to know the wonderful person she turned out to be. She would forget about me, about our life together. She had a new family, what would she need me for?
Oh god, what if she wanted to leave?
I wouldn’t be able to stop her.
I loved her, and I only wanted her to be happy. I wouldn’t be able to hold her back from that, even if her happiness didn’t include me.
None of that mattered though. After twenty-four hours of putting off the inevitable, it was now or never. And it needed to be now.
I stepped into the kitchen to find exactly what I expected, Anastasia pouring her morning coffee and chomping on her cereal. If I awoke every morning to find this picturesque scene I’d have been happy. She belonged here, and I think even she knew it.
“Anastasia.” She swung around a bright smile on her face.
“What’s wrong?” Her smile dimmed as her concern quickly began to show through.
My god, she was beautiful. In every sense of the word. While adorned with only a t-shirt, jeans and her fluffy bunny slippers, she stopped my heart. It happened every time I looked at her, whether she was wearing a silk nightie or covered from head to toe in everyday clothing.
Beauty radiated from her. Like the sun, she made everything brighter. Even my outlook on life wasn’t quite so dim anymore.
“Good morning.” I wrapped her in my arms, reveling the feel of her. I kissed her lips before letting her go.
“I have some news. You might wanna sit down.” I nudged her over to the barstool and followed behind with her full mug.
I couldn’t move. Did I want to? I wasn’t sure but I knew that I needed to. We were here now and despite Nikolai’s kind words, I knew there was no turning back.
“Are you sure you want to do this? We could turn around, go back home right now. They’d never know that we were even here.”
“Nikolai. Thank you. I need to do this though, whether I want to or not.” I mean, of course I wanted to. But I was also two seconds away from throwing up. And with that thought, I opened the door of the truck and hopped out, just in case.
“Ok. I’m ready.”
We’d pulled up at the curb ten minutes ago. We sat in silence. I could tell that Nikolai was on edge but I wasn’t sure if that was the reason for his silence, or if he could sense my pathetic level of nerves. Whatever the reason, I was thankful for those few minutes as I tried to build up my courage.
Nikolai was right. We could’ve turned around, gone home and forgotten this whole big nightmare ever happened. While I was a fully formed adult now, that had never really been close with family, a part of me still yearned for a mother. I’d grown up without a mother and the hole that left in me had never been filled. I’m still reeling from all of this, everything happened so fast but my being here was propelled by my ache to meet her.
“Hello. Can I help you?” A middle-aged woman asked as she swung the door wide open. She wore a classic maids uniform and answered the call of the doorbell promptly. I had no doubt that she only worked here, most likely along with many others.
“I’m looking for Mr and Mrs Varela. Are they home?” I asked tentatively.
“Yes, dear. Please come in. Who should I say is asking?” Her eyes scanned me as she opened the door even further to let us pass. Her critical look had me questioning myself.
“Uh- My name is Anastasia? I’m a...family friend.” It didn’t hit me until I saw the blank look on the maids face. There was no recognition. Was Anastasia even my name?
Maybe it was a simple mistake, she might not have been working here back then.
“One moment.” The maid scurried back through the foyer, leaving the door open. I took the small advantage to scan the inside of the house, what I could see from my stance at the door anyway. The house was massive, bordering on mansion size. A chandelier hung in the large foyer, it was gorgeous. The sound of footsteps weren’t enough to tear my gaze from the regal crystals hung from the high ceiling.
“Yes?” A woman spoke firmly, addressing us as she entered the room, a middle aged man following closely behind. She was dressed smartly considering she was at home in the middle of the day, middle-aged but beautiful. This was her, Rachel Varela, my mother - by birth anyway. I was blown away, too afraid to speak in case my voice broke - too afraid to even breathe in case this moment wasn’t real.
