I never knew beauty could be so dangerous.
I was confused. I knew it was normal to feel fear but I never could’ve imagined the loneliness that I felt. I’d cried. I’d screamed.
Now, I just felt hopeless, and that hopelessness seemed to be affecting my sleep. Or maybe it was because I’d been sleeping every spare second that I could since I’d gotten here. I had hoped I’d wake up from this horrible nightmare.
I agreed to be here but that didn’t mean that I had a choice. That only made my anger towards Nikolai flare, the fact that he knew what he was doing to me. He knew I had no choice, he’d forced my hand.
Despite his many attempts to make me comfortable, I was still stuck on that. When I came back to my room earlier to find a brand new iPhone resting on my bedside table, I was shocked. Was Nikolai stupid? Or just really that trusting? Nevertheless, I made sure to make use of it immediately. It had been too long since I’d last heard my aunt's voice.
She had been worried, hearing that I was okay seemed to settle her. I had been conflicted at first as to what to disclose. But the truth of it was that I didn’t want her to worry. I was alive, and somewhat safe. Things could’ve been way worse.
After hanging up with my aunt, I sat for the next ten minutes...just staring at the phone. It finally dawned on me, that maybe I hadn’t bothered asking for any of my personal belongings - my phone - because I had no attachment to any material items. And the only people that I talked to on the daily was my father, my boss and my aunt. At least now, with the help of Nikolai, I could reconnect with my aunt.
The fact that Nikolai had done this at all, for me, was something that I couldn’t get off my mind.
So maybe being here wasn’t awful but I was still a prisoner. Despite showing his kind streak today, I knew I couldn’t trust it. This was all so different to the last time I was kidnapped. The fear was different. I didn’t fear for my life. Last time, I feared they would hurt me, or kill me, or torture me. This time, I had been told that none of that would happen. I was afraid, yes, but mostly I was just angry and lonely.
Around Nikolai, I had been trying my hardest to keep my cool. I knew what happened to prisoners who rebelled, you pick up on that quickly when you’re in a hostage situation. The absolute truth was that I could hate Nikolai all I liked but I still needed to control myself to ensure my safety.
Watching out the window I saw the moon shine its light over the back garden. It was beautiful - what I’d seen of the property anyway. I wasn’t exactly offered a tour of my prison but Nikolai did say I was free to wander.
I wondered if he was in bed. It was late, almost two am. Surely everyone else would be fast asleep by now but I still was unsure if anyone else even lived in the house. I’d seen the occasional flutter of maids about the house but they seemed to hurry along at the sight of me. Sometimes moving so quickly that I had to stop and wonder if I imagined them.
With no sign of sleep in sight, I stuck my key in the bedroom door and headed out into the hall. I supposed that it was about time I got a proper tour of the place, especially seeing as I was here for the foreseeable future. I had a right to know where I was living before pitching my tent.
There were three other doors on this corridor, one of which I knew led to Nikolai’s bedroom. For a split second, I had the insane thought to try the handle. I knew it would’ve been locked if he weren’t inside but I was curious. Instead of getting myself into even more trouble, I moved to the next door.
I cracked open the second door only slightly, in the case that someone was inside I didn’t want to disturb them. I was disappointed that it wasn’t as exciting a discovery as I’d hoped for. Just a linen closet, there was no wonder Heather ran in and out of there so much.
The last door turned out to be a bathroom. Again, disappointing. The house was so much bigger than the average size that I started to wonder what was taking up so much space. I had to be missing something. I rounded the corner and bypassed another door, this one led to the library. I’d discovered that early on when I’d been rushing around searching for a bathroom.
The room was utterly beautiful. High ceilings with loads of windows, there was no need for artificial lighting. On a sunny day, the room filled with a lovely warm glow. I found that was the best time to visit the library. I dare not get started thinking about the books that lined the shelves.
For a moment I found myself wondering where Achilles slept. I could hardly imagine Nikolai letting him sleep in his bedroom.
Hmm.
With a renewed sense of adventure, I went off in search of the big bear.
Downstairs, I flitted from door to door checking each room for Achilles. There was no sign of him. If I didn’t know any better, I’d believe that a dog didn’t live here. There were no signs of any toys or beds. I even searched the kitchen for his food bowl, which I found, to make sure I hadn’t imagined him.
“There you are,” I said absentmindedly as I finally spotted him. Having spoken a little too loudly, I slapped a hand over my mouth. It was pretty dark and this part of the house seemed to be dead. I think I was safe.
We were at the back of the house, somewhere behind the staircase. This was a part of the house that I’d never been in before. Achilles’ bed was next to a wide glass sliding door. Beyond the glass was a small patio, beyond that were the gardens. I spied a pathway led by solar lights, it made a divide in the greenery.
It looked mystical and it called my name, enticing me to follow the path of lights. For a split second, it made me forget where I was.
A noise startled me out of my reverie. A crashing sound.
I followed it. I expected Achilles to follow me as back up but no, his head dropped back down onto his tail. I huffed, exasperated at the big bad wolf that only wanted to go back to sleep. Some guard dog he was.
I braced myself as I stopped outside of another door, one that I hadn’t been through before. Considering the possibilities of what hid on the other side, I was shitting myself.
Twisting the knob, I nudged open the door as quietly as possible. I peeked my head around the corner first, taking in the scene before me. I opened the door wider as Nikolai’s study came into view. With the glow from the fireplace lighting the room I easily made out Nikolai’s hulking figure hunched in his desk chair.
I’d never been in here. It was nice, very classic and...wooden. Not at all what I pictured it would be. I stepped further into the room announcing my presence to Nikolai. His eyes flickered to mine. I could see that something was off, almost immediately. My eyes fell to the glass sitting on the desk in front of him, one hand gripping it. The brown substance looked oddly familiar.
He’d been drinking. If I looked into his eyes for longer I’d maybe have noticed the redness that would be there.
