Fuckkkkkkk.
I saw it coming but my reaction time just wasn’t quick enough, clearly, I didn’t have much practice getting hit. But, who did?
“That’s for Evan.”
What? I’m so confused. As I right myself and look ahead to the tiny woman stood in front of me, I don’t recognise her. Should I? She said ‘Evan’. Does she knowmyEvan? Oh my god, has he been dating? My mind takes off, at full speed in that direction. I have to jolt myself back to the present by reminding myself that we aren’t technically together anymore. I did kind of break up with him. Of course, when he said he’d wait for me, I had assumed he’d be waiting alone...
“Evan…?” Surely, she wasn’t talking about my Evan.
“Yes.”
“I’m so confused,” I whisper, trying to recall what the hell reason she has to slap me. “I’m sorry, do I know you?”
“Not directly,” she admits. “I’m Kathy, Sam’s cousin.”
Hmm. Nope, doesn’t ring a bell. She doesn’t look anything like Sam either but that could be because she’s a girl, she’s on the shorter side, and she has bright purple hair. Yeah, no wonder she doesn’t resemble Sam. She is pretty though.
“Oh. So, you were at the wedding?” Had I done something to her then? All I can recall from that night is getting totally shitfaced. Oh shit, what if I insulted her when I was drunk. Wait. “You were at the wedding, you were talking to Evan and Danny.”
“Damn right, I was. You must be so proud of yourself, you did a real number on the poor soul.”
And, that’s the moment my stomach drops, right through the floor and probably down to the concrete basement floor. Her knowledge of my past with Evan is beyond annoying, but more than that, I feel gut-gnawing guilt. I know that whatever she says next I’m not going to like. If I were a kid, I would plug my fingers in my ears and sing la-la-la. Unfortunately, I’m not, I’m an adult that has to just suck up and take it.
I take a deep breath to respond but I can’t. My mouth drops open as if I’m going to say something but no words escape. I don’t know what to say, how to answer her.
The woman smiles smugly at my lack of response. It’s clear now that her intention was to cause me shame, and she’s obviously succeeded. She continues talking, her anger returning full speed. Every word out of her mouth is like a twist of the knife that’s been plunged into my heart. “He could’ve been mine. I would’ve made him happy. If you don’t want him, at least grow the balls to tell him that - let him be free.”
Oh, I see what’s happened now. He rejected her… because of me. I can see how she’d think that’s unfair, so I keep my mouth shut. Apparently, that doesn’t appease her, so she huffs and stomps off, heading for the exit. I feel bad that she’s upset but was there really any need to slap me?
My gut twists with the prospect of other women hitting on Evan. I totally get it, why wouldn’t they? He’s a fine cut of meat, smart as hell and a perfect gentleman. It still makes me feel physically ill. And to think of him actually sleeping with someone else… Well, I can’t.
I know I’ve not been the only woman to have slept with Evan but as far as I know I was the last, and in my mind, I’d like to keep it that way. Our platonic connection had been strong right off the bat but once sex was on the table, I truly learned what ecstasy was. We moved as one, he knew what I wanted and then I gave him what he needed.
My eyes jerk open as I realise that I’d been fantasising about Evan in a very public place, stood in the middle of the bar with all the regulars milling about. I suppose it’s not the first time that I’d be caught thinking about Evan - at least it’s not his sister this time.
My shoulders slump on a sigh as I decide that maybe it’s time to call it a night. Maybe Tash was right and I should have just went straight home in the first place. But lately, I’d been doing anything to try and avoid going home. Stopping off for groceries every day on the way home from work, filling my gas tank up ten dollars at a time, dropping in on friends unannounced, hanging out at Lane’s. Admittedly, that last one has been the most fun. I’ve actually really started to get to know Nicky.
I’ve dropped by every night this week, I’m pretty sure everyone there is sick of seeing my pathetic face. Sometimes I’m not even there for a drink, just a chat or some chilli cheese fries. Good god, I am so pathetic. It’s been weeks and I still haven’t really found what to do with myself, or my free time, now that I’m not with Evan.
A cab pulls up to the curb outside the bar and I jump in. I quickly rattle off my address to the driver, it’s not far - I probably could’ve walked but it’s getting late and I’d hate to run into any trouble. I pull out my phone searching for some distraction on the quiet ride.Shit!I hiss a breath as my phone screen lights up with a missed call list as long as my arm.
Evan, Evan, Tash, Tash, Evan, Tash, Veronica, Tash…What the fuck?! They all must have been trying to call me for at least the past twenty minutes. I panic silently, praying that the cab hurries the hell up. I dial Tash first.What the hell was going on? Was something wrong? Good god, I hope it’s nothing to do with Sam and Gabby.
“Katie?” Natasha’s panicked voice startles me.
“Tash? What the hell is going on?”
“Oh, thank god! Where the fuck have you been? I’ve been trying to call you!” She semi-screeches in my ear causing me to wince.
“Yeah, I can see that, so have Evan and Veronica. What’s happening?”
“It’s a long story. Well, I’m glad you’re alright. I panicked earlier when you left here, I didn’t want you going to the bar and being all depressed on your own. Evan was on the phone to Luke and asked how you were doing. I told him how down you were, and I’m sorry but yes, I insisted he talk to you. When he couldn’t get ahold of you, he thought you were blowing him off. But you wouldn’t do that, you care too much about Evan to not answer his calls, so I got worried.”
“Fuck.” I can’t believe she told him how much of a pathetic loser I am. I fucking broke up with him and I’m the one mourning the loss of our relationship. I amsogoing to have to pay back that favor as soon as possible. “I’m gonna k- I gotta go, I’ll call you back.”
My vengeful train of thought crashes to a halt as the car pulls to a stop in front of my building. I pocket my phone, hurriedly throw some bills at the driver and scurry out of there. The street light doesn’t quite eliminate all the way to my door, hence my need to have my own light installed. If I’m going out on a night-time I tend to leave the light on. And what a lifesaver it’s been, there’s been countless times when stumbling home drunk that the light has led me to the door. But tonight I hadn’t thought I’d be out this late.
“Evan?” I call out in surprise as I squint at the figure on my porch steps. I shove the cab door closed behind me and move across the sidewalk. The darkness grows and my eyes strain to catch a glimpse of the scruffy faced man slumped in front of me.
