Tash’s words run through my head on a continuous loop.‘Listen to your heart.’
I don’t know where she picked it up because it’s definitely the most cliché thing that I’ve heard in real life. But maybe she’s right? I don’t know anymore.
After going around to see Tash, I came straight here. It was still early and I wasn’t quite ready to go home yet. Veronica had left the day after the wedding. I still don’t know how she managed the flight home because, even if it’s the only thing I remember from the wedding reception, she had been more hammered than I was. We went to dinner before I dropped her off at the airport though, maybe that was what helped sober her up. She dished all about the guy that she hooked up with the night before and made me promise to keep her up to date about the whole Evan situation.
We hugged for a long time before she had to catch her plane. I just hoped it wouldn’t be so long between visits next time. I miss her, the house is too quiet without her smiley face.
So, instead of going back to an empty home, I came to Lane’s for a drink. I just couldn’t stop praying that I wouldn’t bump into anyone I knew. I had no energy to come up with an excuse as to why I was drinking alone in a bar on a weeknight.
“You ever been in love, Nicky?” I was glad when I walked in to see Nicky, the owner, was behind the bar tonight - again. But that shouldn’t surprise me, he’s always here, and that’s what makes me wonder about his love life. And his life in general, he’s a very mysterious man. Like even learning his name, I didn’t even know that his first name was Nicky. Everyone just calls him by his last name, ‘Lane’. After all it was his great great grandfathers bar, the name is a staple trademark in this place. I suppose just because he runs it now that the nickname just passed on to him too.
“Oh god, here we go. I’m cutting you off. I can’t go through this conversation with you again.” His hearty chuckle tells me that he’s only kidding but I notice how skilfully he avoided my question - like every other time that I’ve asked something personal.
It’s funny how it’s so much easier to talk to a stranger about your troubles than your friends. Of course, I’ve known Nicky now for a few years but it’s never really developed into more than bartender and drunk girl. Actually, I could see him as more of an older brotherly figure.
“One day I’ll get the truth out of you. You may as well just tell me.” I sip my glass and raise an eyebrow expectantly. Wait, “This is only my second drink!” I cry in outrage, but Nicky is now at the other end of the bar clearing a stack of glasses with a cheesy grin stretched across his face.
“Of course I’ve been in love. I’m a grown man,” he says somewhat gruffly, polishing a glass with a towel before setting it down beneath the bar. He sighs, shaking his head. “Look, sweetheart, I know you’re pining for him. I know that’s why you’ve been spending so much time here. It sure ain’t my handsome face.”
A group of girls come in at that moment to sit at the other end of the bar. They’re loud and giggly, I think it must be a birthday party because they’re already drunk and in annoyingly good spirits. They cheer when Nicky goes over for their order and a few moments later he’s serving them prosecco. One of them catches my eye as she tips her glass back and scowls at me. Wait, scowls? What have I done? She doesn’t look familiar and I don’t actually want to cause a scene, so I just quickly look away.
I put the scowling girl out of my head and continue to drown my sorrows in wine until the need to pee arises. I drain my glass, pick up my purse and head for the bathroom. There are only two stalls and — just my luck — one is in use and the other is out of order. I lean against the sink waiting for whoever is in the stall to exit. I hear the flush, then the latch, and the door swings open, to reveal the scowling girl from earlier.
“It’s you,” she says, marching up to me. I step out of the way so she can get to the sink but instead she whirls around and raises one hand. I hardly see it coming, before she cracks me across my face.
