My eyes roam aimlessly.I don’t want to be here. I don’t know what I want anymore. Up until now, I had thought I hated Ellie, but then last night… it was so fucking good. I’ve never felt so riled up, or so free. Sex with Ellie was always good but that was back in high school, anything she did to me back then was mind-blowing.
But it’s crazy how much she’s changed while still looking the same, it’s like an illusion. Her body is even more gorgeous than before, her racetrack curves only add to her femininity. Back in high school, she was ‘hot’ or ‘sexy’, last night she was a fucking goddess. Literally.
But I’ve got to push last night away from my mind, it’ll never happen again. I was trying to push her away this morning but the second those words left my mouth I regretted it. I was acting out of fear and in the process, I’ve hurt Ellie. I know I have, I saw the look on her face. After that, I’d be a lucky bastard if she ever spoke to me again.
Maybe that’s for the best. That’s what I’d wanted in the first place. If she doesn’t talk to me then she can’t hurt me. She’s an enchantress and I need not to be under her spell, no matter how addicted I am to her wickedness.
If only my heart would listen, it continues to pound rapidly in my chest at the very thought of her.
I watch as Davey gets yet another lap dance, the guys all hoot and holler around him. Simon, the groom - the guy this party is actually for, sits at the bar with a beer and a basket of fries. It seems like he’s had a good time but it’s getting late and for the past half an hour I’ve been watching as he not so slyly checks his phone, repeatedly.
Scantily clad waitresses hover around, some travelling back and forth from the bar. The place is hopping now, filled mostly with men. A strip club is so not my idea of a good time, I’ll have to make a mental note to not let my future groomsmen drag me to a place like this. My eyes are wandering back to the center stage where the main performance is, and that’s when it happens. My heart stops.
Standing across the room, the beads parted like curtains around her, is Ellie. Her eyes are already trained on me but I don’t like it. I could always read her facial expression so easily. Right now, I hate that I can’t tell what she’s thinking.
Fuck!
Is she a figment of my imagination? That seems to be the only logical explanation my brain can come up with. It’s the only one that makes sense, especially with the amount of beers I’ve had to back it up, the theory.Great, now it’s not even physically possible to get away from her. She’s attached to my mind.
She moves from the doorway, expertly dodging between the club patrons and the waitresses. She stops in front of my table, only then do I know that yeah this beauty standing less than three feet away is actually Ellie - the real-life version. And yes, she really is standing right in front of me, in a female strip club. What. The. Fuck.
“You work here or something?” Her eyes flash and I subtly turn my head back to the stage while sipping my whiskey.
Very clearly not the right thing to say, but in fairness, I didn’t mean to say that out loud. It was only supposed to be a sarcastic inner comment to distract me from the disappointment in her eyes. I can see it now that she’s up close. I’m not man enough right now to look at her again, I can already feel the anger rolling off of her in waves.
“What are you doing here El?” I ask, whilst avoiding her glare. Doesn’t exactly seem like her type of place.
“Lynch called me,” she answers. That makes my head turn. She rolls her eyes, “said you were drunk and pathetic. I’m here to take you home.”
I go to rest my glass back on the small table but she beats me there, picking it up and downing the rest of my whiskey. I’m normally not much of a drinker, I always need to be alert and at the ready for work. This week alone I’ve probably consumed more alcohol than I did all of last year. I already know that I’m going to be sick tomorrow, I passed that point hours ago so what’s the harm in keeping going?
I watch intently, almost transfixed, as her throat bobs as she swallows, the glass pressed to her lips. God, she’s such a fucking tease. Making every man in here wish to be that glass.
“Hey, guys. I’m guessing this is the infamous Ellie, it’s nice to meet you. Or, should I say, re-meet you. We went to high school together. I’m Lynch.” My hardened glare turns on Lynch. I had wondered what he wanted to borrow my phone for before but I didn’t want to pry. Fucking idiot, who else would call someone’s ex-girlfriend to ask for a lift home from a titty bar.
Lynch must feel the heat of my stare; he scratches at his neck but otherwise keeps completely focused on Ellie.
“Lynch, so you’re the guy I should thank for waking me up and dragging me out in the middle of the night? And to a strip joint no less,” she snipes. Her hands gravitated to her hips as she was talking but when she’s finished she doesn’t wait for a response and turns on her heel. “Let’s go.”
I stand up and hurry after her, mainly because I don’t want her being alone here or anywhere in this part of town, especially at this time of night. I shoot Lynch a what-the-fuck look on the way to Ellie’s car, he shrugs but we both know he’s dead meat in the morning. I jump in the passenger seat of the Prius while Lynch stretches out on the back seat. I make sure to keep my hands clasped together in my lap to keep from reaching out and taking Ellie’s hand in mine.
I’m thrown back to high school when El was first learning how to drive. We’d go out to the outskirts of town, I’d have her in my car practicing to drive. She used to hate it, always such a nervous little thing. To keep her calm, I would have to hold her hand over the gear stick.I used to love it when she drove.
The ride back to Lynch’s apartment is long and eerily quiet except for Lynch’s directions.
I feel like a dick for making her do this. And for how I’ve treated her. I just don’t know how I’ll be able to get over our past.
I glance over at El looking for any sign that she’ll forgive me, maybe she’ll think this is a funny story that she can tell her friends. Maybe they’ll see right through it and hate me for messing her around.
All I know for definite is that I need to decide if I can live without El in my life. And that I’m going to have a banging headache tomorrow.
