He groaned again.
“We’re not fooling around before I’ve kissed you properly.”
“Okay. That’s not a problem.”
I rolled over to face him. He smiled at me, one of his relaxed, lazy smiles. One that he shows to very few people.
“Oh, it is. Your ass is hot as sin, babe. But that breath could kill a horse.”
I covered my mouth, letting out an audible gasp before running to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Before I brushed, I breathed into my hand, and yeah, it wasn’t minty fresh, but it wasn’t deadly.
After I brushed my teeth and washed my face, I returned to the bedroom where Hawk was up and making the bed.
“What? No cuddling in bed all morning?”
He shook his head and stared at me in his sweatshirt. I wore it like a nightgown; it brushed just above my knees.
“First, one of us was adamant that she had a lot to do today. But I’ve already been clear that we’re not jumping into anything. So no, I will not torment myself with your ass against my morning erection. I’m not a masochist.”
“I only have laundry today.” I didn’t mention that I planned to drop it off to a service, not after I gave him shit for having staff and hired help.
“Then you have time for breakfast?”
“Brunch?” I asked, noting that it was closer to noon. How the hell had we slept so late?
“Boozy brunch?” He asked with a smirk. Oh my fucking God, he was adorable. How could a man thisbigmanage to pull off being adorable?
“Are you trying to ply me with alcohol and pull more secrets out of me?”
His eyes pierced through me. “I only want the secrets you give me willingly. You’ve had enough taken from you, Ken. I refuse to add to that.”
Hawk’s entire approach disarmed me. I had built my entire post-Tucker life on surface relationships and one-night stands. I avoided the men who wanted to get to know me better because I didn’t want to take the risk of an actual relationship again. Hawk wasn’t letting me drive the narrative in that direction, though he was still letting me know we would only do things on my terms.
If he wanted me real, raw, and vulnerable, it would take time. Shit, why couldn’t he have invited me for sex? I could handle sex. Feelings? Not so much.
“Ken, what’s going on in that brain?” His gravelly voice burned through me, and there was something in his demeanor, his expression—or was it his eyes that burned down my walls?
“I don’t know if I can ever be what you’re looking for.”
Fuck, that hurt to say.
He moved toward me and cupped my cheek in his hand. His thumb stroked my cheek before he swept a stray strand of hair behind my ear. He pressed his lips to my forehead and pulled me in toward him. My chin rested on his chest as I tried to maintain eye contact.
“And what do you think I’m looking for? When you figure that out, let me know. Because before I met you, the only thing I wanted for my future was to run the Minutemen. But now I want to know you, Kendra. I want to know every thought that runs through your brilliant mind.”
I laughed and tried to deflect. “What if those thoughts are filthy?”
“Don’t take my restraint for a lack of desire. Take it as a promise. A promise of time, and a promise that I want more than a quick lay.”
“After my assault, I did a lot of work on healing my mindso I could have a physical relationship again. But I didn’t work on this part.”
“What’s this part?”
I rested my cheek on his chest and breathed in deeply; his scent washed over me.
“The vulnerability.”
“Vulnerability doesn’t mean weakness, Ken.”
