She smiles, mock-bashfully, still desperate to keep the control she craves by denying me the truth.
‘I can’t give away trade secrets, sweetie, even to my bestie. Anyway, you already know the answer, Erin – it was in much the same way you’re about to do yourself. It’s not that hard, is it, to disappear, to change your identity, become someone else? Sometimes, if you’re super smart, you can be many different people at once, though you need to be organised for that, have a very methodical approach, as admittedly, it can get a little confusing at times. Anyway, killingmewon’t exonerateyou. Then no one will know the truth, will they, and you’ll be a murderer.’
‘I’m already one of those, thanks to you.’
She sighs. ‘Don’t be like that, hun. No oneforcedyou to stab the stupid bastard in the heart, did they? You did that of your own free will.’
‘The free will you manipulated and sabotaged, you mean, like some kind of Svengali cult leader?’
She laughs. ‘Oh, but you give me too much credit, Erin. I suppose I should really be flattered. But you’re not so different to me underneath it all. You’ve a killer instinct in you, Erin Santos. That night you saw your mother killed by your stepdad, you couldn’t find it then, could you, that instinct that’s buried within you, within us all? I just helped you to dig deep. And you felt better for it, didn’t you? Once you’d plunged that knife into him and stopped his heart from beating, you feltrelieffor what you didn’t do all those years ago, Iknowyou did.’
I swallow dryly. I can’t let her into my head. She mustn’t get inside my head!
‘You don’t know anything about me anymore.’ I point the gun at her as I stand, finger poised on the trigger. ‘Tell me your real name.’
But then, would you believe, the doorbell rings.
FORTY-NINE
‘Aren’t you going to answer that?’ Her eyes move in the direction of the door. ‘It’s probably the police.’
‘Stay where you are,’ I growl at her as I make my way over to the window, the gun still trained on her. ‘You’re right, Samantha, Iama killer. I’m exactly what you made me, and Iwillpull this trigger if you move.’ I peer through the curtain.
Oh crap.It’s Dan. Dan Riley is here. Again.Why has he come back?
‘Hello! Tilly…?’ I hear him call through the letter box. ‘Are you there?’
I drop the curtain.
‘You planted my hair at a crime scene, didn’t you?’ She shrugs, stares at me blankly. ‘Didn’t you?’ I bring my other hand up to the gun.
‘OK! So I kept a bit of your DNA, in here.’ She pulls a silver locket from around her neck, from underneath her sloppy old T-shirt. ‘I like carrying a part of you around with me, Erin. We’re BFFs, kindred spirits, we’resoul sisters…’
I shudder. ‘You were going to pin that crime on me, weren’t you?’ I glance behind me towards the door. Is it just Dan out there, or are there more police with him?
Just pull the damn trigger, Erin, do it now!
‘Was that why you killed Milo Harrison? Just so that you could frame me and have me sent back to the nuthouse? Did you take another man’s life just to make sure I stayed silent?Why, Samantha? Why would you want to do that to me, to destroy my life, what did I ever do to you?Just tell me why?’
‘Tilly!’ Dan calls through the letter box. ‘Is everything OK in there? I can hear voices. Can you open the door, please? I’m concerned. Can you hear me, Tilly? It’s DCI Dan Riley…’
I could try and style this out. Will Dan recognise me? We’ve only ever spoken on the phone, and I look so different now to that dreadful photograph of me that’s currently circulating. Even Samantha says so. And I have new ID on me, Alexandra Fisher’s ID. I’ll show him that if he asks.
‘If you do or say anything, I’ll put a bullet through you.’ I look directly at her. ‘I’ll shoot you dead right in front of him, in a second, boom, over, bang, bang, you’re dead! You get the picture I’m painting here, Sam?’
She gives a micro nod of her head.
I direct her with the gun. ‘Answer the door.’
She walks towards it, effortlessly slipping back into being Tilly again, like a chameleon changing colour. I watch as she shrinks into herself somehow, makes herself appear smaller. Her posture changes, sags a touch, even her gait is different. It’s quite incredible – and chilling – to witness such a transformation up close.
‘I’m so sorry, Dan.’ Her voice is a flat apology as he follows her into the kitchen, where I’m sitting, my fingers still on the gun in my left pocket. ‘We were just having a little chat in the kitchen, me and the lady here, from the Women in Prison support group.’
Quick thinking, Sam. I glance at her.Nice job. But then I wouldn’t have expected anything less, I suppose. She’s good at what she does – the best.
‘Hello there.’ I stand, take my hand out of my pocket, offer it to him. ‘Nice to meet you – Alexandra, Alex Fisher.’ I do my best to disguise the Yorkshire lilt in my voice by lengthening my ordinarily shorter vowels. Dan’ll surely recognise it if I don’t put on a fake accent. ‘Tilly and I were just discussing what might happen if she were to be handed down a custodial sentence when it comes to her trial, or if there even is a trial. There’s a lot of information, a lot to take in…’ I throw him a sage, well-meaning glance as I give him my best attempt at ‘southern posh’. They say what’s meant for you will not go by you, and so the fact that I am finally meeting Dan in the flesh like this, albeit unplanned, or even as myself, makes me think that it was meant to be. His hand feels warm as I shake it, and try as I do not to, I can’t help meeting his eyes with my own.
He’s even more handsome in the flesh than he is in the photograph I saw in that newspaper article. Handsome yet also approachable. What you might call husband-handsome. I would’ve liked to have married a man much like him, I think. He radiates strength and warmth and integrity somehow.And I bet he’s good in bed. I can only hope he doesn’t recognise me. Idefinitelydon’t want to have to kill Dan as well. Besides, I only have two bullets loaded in the gun, so this could be a problem.Why did he have to come back?
