She blinks rapidly, then looks down at the stuff I bought her. “Thank you. Is Mojo going to be okay? I mean, where are we taking him?”
If that isn’t the big question. I thought about it all night and all morning. A hundred different scenarios running through my mind, but none of them make sense. None of them feel right…except for one.
“I have some money saved up. I think we should go away for a bit.”
“Away?”
“Yeah, like leave town. Actually, leave the state. Lie low for a bit, until Tucker comes out of hiding.”Or longer,I add in my head. “It’s off-season right now, so cabins in the mountains are cheap and rent by weeks or month. Mojo is gonna love it too. Once he is all healed up, we can go on hikes every day.”
“Wow, you really thought this through.” She studies me for a moment. “What if I don’t want to go?” I can’t hide my smirk at her question.
“Oh, little owl. What did I tell you? Don’t mistake my kindness. Don’t think we’re equals. What I say goes, and if I want your ass in a cabin up in the mountains, then your ass will be there. Now, get out of bed and put the fucking bathing suit on.”
Frowning, she gets up and starts dressing. With my arms crossed in front of my chest, I lean against the wall, and I watch her. She slips into the bathing suit, which fits great. The dress I got her to wear over it, not so much. It’s baggy, and the straps fall off her shoulders, but it’ll do for today.
I lead her through the hotel. She clutches one of the large towels in front of her chest as she takes in every inch of this place with wonder, like a kid in a toy store for the first time in their life.
When we get to the pool, I’m glad to find it empty. After I take my shirt and shoes off, I stand on the edge of the pool. I jump in headfirst, diving under the water, and swim to the other side of the pool before I resurface.
Penny is still dressed, folding her towel neatly over a chair.
“Take the dress off and get in here,” I order.
She murmurs something I can’t hear over the water pumping into the filter, but I’m sure it’s something likefine, orI know.She makes quick work of her dress and flip flops before getting into the pool. She doesn’t jump in; instead, she walks into the shallow side of the pool slowly.
I’m right in the center of the pool when I lift my hand and motion for her to come closer.
“You know it won’t always be like this,” she tells me as she approaches.
“Like what?”
“Me taking orders, letting you push me around. At some point, I’ll have enough, and I’ll get away for good. I’ve done it before.”
Anger surges through me like a tornado. Not because she is threatening me to leave, but she is comparing me with Thomas. With two large strides, I cross the distance between us. The water slows my movement down, but not enough for her to get away from me.
I wrap my hand around her throat. She gasps, her eyes go wide, and her hands wrap around my wrist. I walk her backward until her back is pushed up against the side of the pool.
“Do not compare me to him. I am nothing like him. I would never hurt you like that.”
I can feel her throat work under my touch as she swallows. “I know that, but you hurt me in other ways.”
“Shut up, you like what I do to you. Even when I’m rough with you, you come, so don’t fucking lie.” I’d never push her too far. I always make sure she enjoys it too.
“No.” She shakes her head. “That’s not what I mean. You don’t hurt me when we have sex. It’s just… I don’t know what this is between us. You don’t talk to me. Every time I think we’re getting close, you push me away.”
“What do you expect? How do you want me to act? Like fucking prince charming?” I squeeze my hand around her throat before I release her completely. “This is who I am.” I jab my finger into my chest. “And that’s not going to change.”
“I’m not asking you to change. I’m asking you to let me in.”
“That’s not going to happen either. I could never trust you again.”
Her face contours into pain, like the words physically hurt her. Part of me wants to wrap her into my arms and tell her I don’t mean it. Instead, I hold on to that last bit of pain. I have to because if I don’t, I won’t survive letting her go when this is over.
We’re on our way to pick up Mojo. I have Penny in the truck, and together we’re about to go on an extended vacation.
I should be in a great mood.But I am definitely not.
I let what Penny said earlier replay in my mind. She wants me to let her in and not push her away. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t know how. This will never work. Not in the long run anyway. She’ll come to realize that soon enough.
