“Get under the sheets before I fuck you again,” he orders, and I know he isn’t joking.
The sheets are cold, and the mattress is not as comfortable as the one at Ryder’s house, but at least he’ll sleep next to me.
He slides in beside me, turning off the light on the nightstand. There are no windows, which means the room falls into complete darkness. The soft sound of music carries through the walls, but it’s subdued enough to where it shouldn’t bother me to go to sleep.
Ryder is not touching me, but he is close enough for his body heat to seep into me. Curling up on my side, I wrap the thin sheet around my body, trying to get comfortable. The thin fabric doesn’t offer much to keep me warm, and the air in this room is chilly.
I wonder if he would be okay if I scoot closer to Ryder and steal a little of his body heat. I took a risk kissing him, and it turned out well, but I don’t want to push my luck. I don’t think Ryder is the cuddling kind of guy.
Maybe I just wait until he is asleep before I scoot closer.
“Are you cold?” he asks suddenly.
“A little,” I admit, only then realizing my voice is shaking because I am shaking.
The bed creaks, and the sheet is pulled down a bit as he moves. A shiver runs through my body as the cold air kisses my skin, but it’s quickly forgotten when I feel his hands on me.
Large, strong, warm hands pulling me into his chest, engulfing me in warmth. I cuddle into him, kicking myself for not speaking up sooner.
Closing my eyes, I relax, turning to putty in his embrace. It doesn’t take me long before I drift off, and for the first time in a long time, I’m excited to wake up in the morning.
Chapter 24
Ryder
I wakeup the same way I fell asleep, with my arms wrapped around Penny. Her face is pressed against my chest, and with each breath she takes, a puff of air fans out over my skin.
This should feel odd. Cuddling has never been my thing. Kissing has never been my thing either. Yet, it feels right when I do it with Penny, a girl I hated for so long. How is that possible? Nothing about this makes sense.
Reaching over, I flip on the bedside lamp so I can look at her. Maybe seeing her will remind me who is wrapped up in my arms. I take in her face. Her lips are slightly parted, her eyes are closed, and her lashes rest like tiny wings right below. Looking at her doesn’t change anything. I still want her. Still want to hold her, want to protect and take care of her.
Stirring next to me, she slowly wakes up, her whole body goes stiff. Blinking, she looks around, and a moment of panic flashes over her face. When she realizes where she is, her body relaxes, and she melts back into my touch.
“How long do we have to stay here?” she asks, her voice still sleepy.
“However long it takes to find Tucker and have my place fixed up.” I’m sure she doesn’t like being here, but this will have to do.
“About yesterday…” she starts but then pauses for a long time. “Are we… I mean, am I still paying off my debt?”
My heart speeds up at her question. I know what she is asking. Was sex last night about money, or was it more? She wants to know where we stand, but I’m not ready to say it out loud. I can’t, maybe never.
“Nothing has changed.” I give her a washed down answer.
I feel her pulling away immediately, physically and mentally. I almost want to take it back… almost. But the truth is, nothinghaschanged, because it was neverabout the money for me. I always just wanted her. The only thing that did change is the reason I want her close.
Of course, she doesn’t know that. She thinks I just want to use her body to get my money’s worth.
“Why did you come for me? Why didn’t you just let Tucker get to me?”
“How are you going to pay me back if you’re dead?”
She flinches at my words, then turns her body away from me as if I shoved her away. I might as well, but this is the way it has to be. I can’t let her get too close. It’s going to make it harder for both of us when it’s time for her to leave.
I’m not stupid. She is leaning on me now, letting me take care of her because she needs me, but as soon as Tucker is out of the picture and she is safe again, she is going back home. Back to her own life. There is no room for me in it.
“Don’t make this out to be any more than it is.” Getting up from the bed, I pick up my clothes and pull them on. “You owe me. I take payment in the form of fucking. That’s it. Just because I’m nice to you in between doesn’t mean there is anything between us.”
When I glance over at her, she is sitting up, her head lowered as she looks at her hands lying in her lap. The sheet is wrapped around her torso, hiding her perky little breasts from me.
