The nurse sighs deeply, shaking her head. “The only way I’m letting this go is if you swear that you are safe with this guy.”
“Yes.” I don’t need to think about the answer because I know that I am and always will be safe with him. “He would never hurt me.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. He was the one who got me out and brought me here, even though I didn’t want to come.”
“Well, I’m glad he brought you. We’ll take good care of you here.” She gives me a genuine smile, and for the first time in a long time, I smile too. I haven’t smiled in such a long time that the notion feels foreign to me.
She helps me use the bathroom, and even though I know it is her job to care for people, I get the feeling she would do this even if it wasn’t. It’s in the way she gently holds me, making sure I don’t feel pain as I move. Her touch is so soothing and kind, the sincerity of it overwhelms me, and I hold back tears. Her caring nature and honest concern for me, a person she doesn’t know, has my heart swelling with unexpected joy.
When we are done, she helps me back into the room and onto the bed. I sneak a peek at Ryder, who gives me a stern look.
“I need you to get undressed and put this sexy number on,” she tells me, handing me a white and green striped hospital gown. “Do you need help to get changed?”
“No, thanks. I can do it.” She’s already done enough, and I’m sure she has better things to do.
“Okay. I’m going to take this to the lab. They’re just going to run a pregnancy test. Standard procedure, before getting x-rays.”
At the wordpregnancy, the air whooshes from my lungs, and my throat tightens. We had unprotected sex more than once, and I only took the plan-b pill that first time.
Amy must notice my concern written all over my face. “Do you think you might be pregnant?” she asks.
“I-I don’t know,” I admit, not daring to look over at Ryder.
“Well, that’s what the test is for.” She places her hand over mine and gives it a light squeeze before turning around to leave. She exits the room, leaving Ryder and me to dwell in our painful silence and dreadful tension once more.
Chapter 14
Ryder
Pregnancy test.Two simple words that have my heart beating in an unnatural rhythm. Pregnancy means baby, kids, being a parent… me being a parent. The small hospital room suddenly seems even smaller, the walls threatening to swallow me whole.
I’m not stupid, I know what we’ve been doing. I know that unprotected fucking results in pregnancy, but when I’m with Penny, the thought is pushed so far out of my mind. No matter how obviously connected they are, the two ideas didn’t connect inside my head until this very moment.
Staring at the clock on the wall, I watch the handle going around. Each tick taunting me, reminding me of how much time I’ve wasted… how much time I’m wasting right now. Sitting here in this room with a woman who destroyed my life and who is possibly growing a baby inside of her… our baby.
I watch her get undressed from the corner of my eye. Her almost inaudible grunts telling me she is struggling to do it on her own. Knowing that she won’t ask for it, I get up and help her. I try not to look at her body, I don’t want to see her beaten like this. It makes me physically sick, especially thinking about the possibility of her being pregnant. If she is… I will hunt that fucker down and end him. Hell, I might do it anyway.
Once she is in her hospital gown, I sit back down on the chair, waiting another eternity for the doc to show up. The entire time, we barely look at each other, both avoiding eye contact as much as we can, each for different reasons.
When the door finally opens, and the doctor walks in, my heart is slamming against my ribcage furiously.
“Hey there,” she greets us both. The nurse who was here earlier, entering the room behind her. “I’m Doctor Bayley. Amy filled me in. So, you fell down the stairs, huh?”
“Yes.” Penny nods, but the doctor frowns at her. Giving her a look as if to say, I don’t believe a word you’re saying. She taps her pen on the clipboard she is holding, waiting for a moment to give Penny a chance to talk.
When Penny doesn’t say anything, she finally lets it go. “Okay… your pregnancy test came back negative, so we will do some x-rays next to make sure you didn’t break anything when youfell.”
I might have been annoyed by her snarky remark if it wasn’t for the fact she said the test was negative. A wave of relief washes over me. My heart rate slows down almost immediately, leaving an unfamiliar and unexpected dull ache in my chest. It’s almost like there is a tiny, disappointed part of me.
Confused and irritated, I shove that feeling down in the darkest corner of my mind and concentrate on what else the doctor is saying.
“I’m going to examine you. For that, I need you to take this off. Are you okay with him being in the room?” The doctor asks, and I almost roll my eyes at her. Penny nods, but the doctor keeps pushing. “I can make him leave if that makes you more comfortable.”
“No,” Penny speaks up this time. “I want him to stay.” Her words slam into me and settle deep in my chest. Not because I’m surprised by her saying them, but because of the way she says them. There is an undeniable desperation in them. Like she doesn’t just want me to stay, she needs me to stay.
I swallow hard, my throat suddenly feels tight.
