By the time we reach my building, it’s almost like we’re friends. Every day brings a new surprise, I guess. “Thanks for the ride and for everything else.” I even feel a little regretful, like I don’t want to go back upstairs by myself. Since when is Alexei good company?
Something else hits me around the same time. I glance up at the window, wondering. “Would you mind coming up with me and looking around, just in case?”
“In case of what?”
“You know.” Is he going to make me say it? “In case anybody is waiting for me.”
“Like Eric, you mean?” He shakes his head. “Listen. I’m only gonna say it once. You don’t have to worry about him ever again.”
I take a step back, looking him up and down. “What’s that mean?”
“It means what it means. You’re safe now.” He whistles softly to himself as he gets back in the car. “Go up. He’ll be pissed if I don’t tell him I watched you go in.” He’s probably right. I go in and hope he’s right about me being safe, too.
When I open the door, I find a piece of paper on the floor, like somebody slid it underneath. That’s not the only thing that catches my attention, either. The keypad mounted to the wall is new.
So is the furniture in the living room. Entirely new, down to the TV and the console it’s sitting on. It’s enough of a surprise to freeze me in place—though once the surprise wears off, I bolt for the bedroom. Sure enough, I have a new bed, a new dresser, and a nightstand. Everything’s new, and it doesn’t look cheap.
I finally think to take a look at the paper. It’s from the security company that installed the alarm system I didn’t order, explaining how to use it, how to set my code, all of it.
It wasn’t enough to make sure I got to the doctor. He had to buy me an apartment full of new furniture and a security system, too. Is this what Alexei means when he says Lucian cares about me?
Chapter 20
Lucian
“How is she?” I can’t believe how it seems everything in my life hinges upon Alexei’s answer. The way I’ve sat here, my guts churning, berating myself for hurting her. For being the reason she had to see the doctor. That’s the last thing I want for her.
“Fine. Probably wondering where all that furniture came from.”
I wave a hand at this. “She needed it. And the security system. God knows. But she’s all right?”
“She’s all right.” I pretend not to notice the knowing little smirk he’s wearing as he leaves my office. It eats me up inside, knowing how obvious it must be to everyone around me that Rowan is more than a financial transaction.
She’s the only woman in my employment who’s ever stirred more than my cock, and I let her down. I hurt her. She has every reason to hate me. Here I am, priding myself on discipline and control, and I hurt the only woman I’ve ever cared anything about.
Who am I? What does any of this say about me? I’m not who I thought I was. Above messiness, above feelings. Above guilt.
There’s work to be done. Books to be checked, numbers to be run. It’s days like this I wish I could hire someone to keep things going smoothly, but I don’t trust anyone as much as I trust myself. This is too important to let some idiot screw up which set of books is which.
Though at the rate I’m going, I could very well end up being that idiot. I can’t get Rowan out of my head. I’m staring at numbers, but all I see is her.
The hatred in her eyes. Cold, hard. The pain, thanks to me.
There I was, wondering if there was a way I could prolong our relationship. I know this is about more than fulfilling some kinky fantasy—there arecountless women I could use for that, women who work under this roof. Women who will owe me money one day and just don’t know it yet. There are countless ways to procure partners.
I don’t want them. I want her. All of her, all the time. Every day. There has to be a way.
How does a man convince a woman to be in a relationship? The whole romance thing has never held much interest for me. I’m nobody’s idea of a hero.
I already sent her an entire apartment worth of furniture. Not as a bribe but as a way to show I care. She hasn’t even called to say thank you. I doubt she’d be any better impressed if I sent flowers, a car, the deed to a house. Besides, I don’t want to earn her that way. She’s worth more than anything money could buy.
Besides, something tells me she would see straight through it.
How does a man show a woman he wants nobody but her? I’m so desperate, even the idea of googling pops up in my head as an option. The woman has no idea what she’s done to me, how low she’s taken me. Maybe we’ll laugh about this one day.
“Boss? We’ve got a problem downstairs.”
I press the button to open the door, rubbing my temples as I do. Like I need another problem today. “What is it?”
