“I got the feeling he was worried about something,” Harlee explains. “You know him better than us, Lydia. What do you think?”
“Oh, umm…” There’s an alien standing partway down the ramp. He claps Sorin and Roan on their backs. The three brothers pass him, ducking into the ship and out of my sight. The other alien watches them go. Then, right at the last second, he looks in our direction.
He’s got an elongated jaw, more like a snout than a mouth, with jagged teeth. He’s also got six eyes, and it’s impossible totell if he’s seen me or not, because no two eyes are looking in the same direction.
Still, I get the chills. Sure, he’s a bit strange looking, but that’s not what’s freaking me out. It’s his expression. I’ve seen that expression before…if only I could remember where.
I shudder, even as Harlee drags Briar and me away from the window and downstairs into Killan’s kitchen.
It’s as clean as always. It’s also kind of familiar feeling. Friendly, even. And some of my nervousness fades. Which is seriously alarming.
This kitchen shouldn’t feel familiar. It’s analienkitchen, on analienplanet, in analiengalaxy. I’m far, far from home, and I absolutely shouldn’t be getting comfortable.
I pinch the inside of my elbow, trying to pinch some sense into myself.
Chair legs scrape against the flagstone floor as the others pull out kitchen chairs and sit, with all appearances of settling down for a long wait. I follow suit, perching on the edge of my chair. I shouldn’t be sitting here. I should be doing…something. Something to progress my plan to escape.
So far, my research hasn’t yielded any helpful results, despite the fact I must have listened to eighty hours of interviews, news articles and chat forum posts.
“Killan, er…” What had Harlee asked me? Oh, right. “He wouldn’t have sent you guys away for no reason. He’s a prick who takes himself way too seriously, but he also takes keeping his family safe seriously, and he wouldn’t want anything to happen to you two.”
“Or to you,” Harlee adds, always so easily convinced of everyone’s good intentions.
I roll my eyes.
“What?” Leaning across the large table, Harlee hits my arm, not hard enough to hurt but enough to admonish me. “You can’ttell me that the two of you are still fighting all the time. You haven’t said a nasty word to each other since the first day of the harvest.”
“That’s because we haven’t spoken for eight days.” I can tell Killan has been avoiding me as much as I’ve been avoiding him, and the few times we were forced together, tension has hung heavy in the air, just like the feeling of an anvil waiting to drop. I’ve been sleeping poorly and eating poorly, and my thoughts keep running in circles around my head.
Sometimes, when I glance up or when I turn around quickly, I accidentally catch Killan watching me. His expression is never super friendly, but…what if I have been misinterpreting his expressions all this time? What if he isn’t actually as grumpy as he looks? Sounds impossible, right? Then why can’t I stop thinking about him?
I swear the less we talk in real life, the louder he is in my thoughts. One minute I’m thinking about how much he must resent me taking up space in his home and how pleased he’ll be when I finally leave. The next moment I’m worrying about him possibly having feelings for me.
Internally, I flinch away from the idea. But that doesn’t stop it swirling around my head.
What if Killan’s got a crush on me? What if Killan secretly likesme? What if Killan is falling in love with me?
I can’t pinpoint an exact reason I think that. It’s a combination of the way he watches me when he thinks I’m not looking and the way he carried me up and down the ladder, keeping me safe in his arms. It’s the way he gets angry whenever someone mentions Smith or LOVE GALAXY or our abduction from Earth, and it’s the way he triesnotto argue with me, even when I’m being a contrarian and picking a fight.
Not once has he mentioned being disappointed that his younger brothers found love when all he got was me. Not oncehas he made me feel obligated to him, and he certainly never assumed he and I would be in a relationship just because LOVE GALAXY threw us together.
All the same…the weight of those expectations grows heavier every day we don’t speak. They’re my anvil. And I need to get off this planet before it drops onto my head.
Briar and Harlee are watching me as if they know I haven’t told them everything.
I force a smile. It’s been a long time since the three of us have sat down together like this and talked. They’ve been too busy with the harvest. And I’ve been too busy avoiding Killan and listening to a million useless search results.
“We don’t get along,” I say. “We never get along.”
“I think the lady doth protest too much.” Briar laughs. “If you’re not careful, you’ll end up wanting to stay.”
“Briar!” Harlee hisses, eyes wide.
A hard knot forms in my chest, and I grit my teeth before I can say something I’ll regret.They’re my friends,I silently remind myself.My friends.
“Oh.” Briar seems to realize her faux pas. “I didn’t mean?—”
“Yes, you did,” I interrupt, despite my conviction that I’m not going to hurt them. Not even though they’ve accidentally hurt me.
