This cannot be happening!
Stepping out of the tunnel, he grasps the bottom of the ladder with his two free hands and begins climbing, the trees a backdrop to our ascent.
“Roan and I are perfectly capable of managing the work ourselves,” he says, although it takes my brain a moment to catch up.
“Without me, you’d have to work through lunch.” I hate how breathless I’m sounding, and I grit my teeth against the combination of embarrassment and the continued torture that is Killan’s scales on my most private of parts. Despite my jeans and the multiple layers of fabric between us, I can feel the unique texture of him. It’s enough to drive a girl crazy. The fact he’s also my enemy—that’s doing nothing to stifle the situation.
Even as I grapple for my usual temper, always simmering just below the surface, I can’t take hold of it strongly enough to stop whatever physical torture is happening here.
“We would have managed!”
“D-don’t pretend,” I scold. “Just because you don’t like my company doesn’t mean I wasn’t help-ahh-ful.” I clamp my mouth shut, clenching my thighs as if Killan isn’t between them. As if I could snap them closed and put an end to this utter madness.
There’s no other word for it:madness.
I’ve been stressed for a long time. I must have finally cracked. It was bound to happen. RIP me.
There’s a pause as Killan scowls and I try hard to ignore the growing ache that is my clit. For a body part that has shown very little interest in anyone and anything since I broke off my engagement, it’s suddenly demandingly bitchy.
All of that makes me thankful I was sweaty before Killan picked me up. It will disguise my flushed face and the way I can’t quite catch my breath.
“I never said I do not like your company,” is Killan’s eventual reply. His voice is clipped in a way that suggests such a sentence was painful for him to admit.
Surprise has me momentarily forgetting everything else, and I repeat his words silently to myself, trying to find the insult in them. But…there isn’t one.
“That silenced you.” And he laughs.It only lasts for a second and it sounds more self-deprecating than happy, but there’s no mistaking it. Killanlaughed.
Chapter Nine
Lydia
An awkward silence falls over the kitchen as Killan puts me down and busies himself with ordering lunch. I recognize the signs of procrastination, as someone who recently used the same technique on Harlee and Roan. I’m getting the uncomfortable feeling that maybe Killan and I are more alike than we’ve acknowledged.
I take a seat on the far side of the table and cross my legs. I’m embarrassingly damp between my thighs, and for some unknowable reason a herd of heavy-winged butterflies has taken up residence in my stomach. What had Killan meant by confessing to notnotliking my company? Had he basically admitted to almost enjoying spending time with me? Which, let’s face facts, can’t be true. We argue all the time. We can never agree on anything. And we antagonize each other just by being in the same room.
Only cowards use double negatives, I decide. Cowards who want to infuriate their houseguest with ever-more confusing mixed signals.
Kicking off my shoes, I rest my feet on the seat of the chair and hug my knees.
Killan is the king of mixed signals. That’s why he’s got a crown. He doesn’t want to touch me. But he does want to carry me. And he doesn’tnotenjoy my company.
My only consolation is that I know he’s feeling as weird as I am about this situation, because he’s still banging around in the kitchen cupboards even though his robot has finished prepping our lunch. All he need do is carry the plates to the table, but he’s got his back to me, acting like he’s busy and shit.
I open my mouth to say so, but the butterflies take flight again, and I snap it shut. How’s a girl to respond when the focus of her ire admits to not hating her? Being angry with Killan has fueled my desire to return to Earth. Loathing that I have to ask his permission whenever I want to surf the alien web and needing his help to climb down the ladder has kept the fire of discontentment burning strong within me.
I rest my forehead on my knees, pressing my eyes tightly closed. It’s bad enough that my bitchy clitoris suddenly has the hots for Killan’s scales. Killan can’t just start saying stuff like that. He can’t change the way our relationship works. It’s too confusing, and I don’t have time to spend worrying about his feelings. I should be focusing on escaping, and not on his feelings.
It's all Chloe’s fault.
It’s so obvious that Killan doesn’t want you to leave,she said. He wants to keep you all to himself.
Urgh! I can’t wait for the day when I finally discover how I’m going to get home. I can’t wait to get off this horrible planet, with its stupid gale-force wind and its…its…annoyingly beautiful underground lakes and picturesque caves.
“Do you like it here? On this planet?” I ask, and I watch Killan’s shoulders stiffen.
There’s another long pause. I can’t tell if he’s insulted by the question or trying to decide how to answer.
My shoulders and back ache, and now we’ve left the caves, my sweat-damp T-shirt is getting uncomfortably cold. I should go downstairs and get changed, except that we’ve got hours of work ahead of us this afternoon. Besides, I find myself wanting to know how he’ll answer—if he ever does answer.
