“Well, Briar’s got at least three offers of elopement,” says Harlee. “One person even wanted to fly her to his private planet.”
“We already have a private planet,” Sorin grumbles.
“We do,” Briar agrees, kissing Sorin’s cheek. “Where’s Chloe?” She pretend gags.
“Haven’t seen her,” I lie.
“Probably moping,” Harlee says, then blushes. “Not that we think you’re moping, Lydia. I didn’t mean?—”
“It’s alright,” I say before she can dig herself a bigger hole.
I don’t want to be angry at Harlee, not after everything the two of us have been through together. We might want different things, but for a while, when we first started filming LOVE GALAXY, it had been Harlee and me against the universe.
Is it too early for a shot of Killan’s homemade hooch? Absolutely. But if I knew how to use the touchpad set into his kitchen wall, I’d still order myself a stiff drink. Anything to take the sharp edge off my feelings. There isn’t even any coffee on Ril II. And there are definitely no French pastries, like what I’m used to eating for breakfast. One of the perks of working in a bakery.
A familiar ache settles in my chest as I think of the bank loan I’d worked so hard to get approved and the shopfront I’d finally signed the lease on. I’d paid six months’ rent upfront to secure my place. At the time, it’d taken a huge chunk out of my capital. But I’m grateful for it now. It means I’ve got six months in which to return home, and the shop will still be mine.
Well, four months, if you subtract the sixty or so days I’ve already been on Ril II.
The fact I’m not making repayments on my business loan—that’s more complicated. I suppose I’ll keep my fingers crossed the bank won’t send the debt collectors after me before I can get back to Earth and make a hardship claim. For an absurd moment, I imagine what would happen if I told them about being abducted by aliens. They’d probably think I was crazy, and I wouldn’t blame them.
A few months ago, if someone had told me I’d be visiting a whole other galaxy, I’d have thought they were running some scam, trying to get my money.
“…not coming,” Killan says, and I realize the others have been talking while I’ve been daydreaming. Something Killan said must’ve caught my attention, but I don’t know what. My name, maybe?
I glance up and find everyone watching me again. “Sorry, what?”
“We were wondering what you’re planning on doing today,” Briar says, and Harlee angles Roan’s tablet farther toward me so I can see the screen without glare from the overhead lights. “Killan says you’re not coming, but, well…” Briar smiles encouragingly.
“Oh, you know…” I couldn’t be any vaguer.
Briar shares a look with Sorin, and I grit my teeth, trying my best not to get angry at Briar, too. Her smile is equal parts sympathetic and friendly. I like the friendly part. We’re friends after all. It’s the sympathy that’s threatening to spike my blood pressure.
It’s like I’m on my period. That’s how I feel—easily annoyed and easily angered, as if the sensitivity reading on my emotions has been ratcheted up to double strength, as happens right before my bleeding starts.
But I haven’t had my period since my kidnapping. And I doubt I’m going to get it anytime soon. My hormones have always been affected by stress. When I was in college, I was so worried about exams that I didn’t get my period my entire final semester. It was the same when I broke my engagement to Lucas.
There’s a pause as everyone waits to see if that’s all I’m going to say. There’s no way I’m admitting that the only thing I’ve got lined up to do today is more sulking, not when that makes me sound like Chloe’s twin.
I busy myself with breakfast. The brothers favor a porridge-type food for their first meal of the day. It’s a little bland for my liking, but in the scheme of things, it’s not so bad. I carry a bowl of it to the table and take a seat—all of them on one side of the table and me by myself on the other side.
With the scraping of chair legs, Killan abruptly stands.
I hate that his reaction hurts my feelings. I shouldn’t care what he thinks. Ishouldn’t.
Chloe must’ve been taking the piss when she suggested Killan wanted me to stay. Worse was the fact that I almost believed her.
It’s so obvious that Killan doesn’t want you to leave,she’d said.He wants to keep you all to himself.What utter bullshit!
He’s staring at his tablet like it’s the most interesting thing he’s ever seen, making it clear to every single person he’s purposefully avoiding eye contact with me.
And suddenly everybody else is avoiding looking at me, like I’ve got the black plague and it’s catching.
Roan slides his arms around Harlee, whispering in her ear. Briar has put herself on mute. I can see her talking to Sorin, but I can’t hear anything they’re saying. Talking about me? Talking about Killan?
I stuff a spoonful of porridge into my mouth, trying to hide how much my hands are shaking. I was lucky enough to never have been properly bullied as a kid, but I’m thinking it must feel something like this—like I’m a pariah nobody wants to admit to knowing.
I look up at Killan, studying him as he studies his tablet. As the only one standing, he looms over the table. In comparison with his younger brothers, he’s obviously the largest, with the broadest shoulders and the widest chest—notwithstanding the fact that his lower right pec is somewhat undefined and his lower right arm ends above where his elbow would’ve been. What remains of the arm itself is small (relatively speaking), and the end is distorted by scars. I hardly see him move that arm; he seems to prefer keeping it close to his side.
