"I know," I cut in gently. "But if I don’t start doing some of this on my own, I’ll never be able to. I’ve been making progress, right? I don’t want to lose that."
His gaze drifted away, then he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. I almost felt bad asking him to stay here just because I knew how nervous he still was about Marcus. But before I could speak again, he reached into his coat pocket and brought out a small canister.
I blinked. "What's that?"
"Farbgel. Just take it with you. Please."
I took it and turned it over in my hand, more fascinated than I probably should've been. It looked like pepper spray, but the label was different. "When did you start carrying this?"
He shrugged. "A while ago. Just in case. You never know."
I went quiet for a minute. The canister sat in my palm, a cold and solid reminder of everything that used to keep me from stepping out the door. Eli wasn't giving me this because he didn't trust me. Actually, he trusted me enough to step away,even if it made him nervous.
I swallowed down the lump forming in my throat and tucked the canister into my pocket. Then I stepped in close, took Eli’s face in my hands, and kissed him.
He didn’t hesitate. His hands found my sides with that quiet steadiness I'd come to rely on. When I pulled back, his eyes met mine, calm but a little tight with worry.
"I'll text when I get there," I promised. "And when I leave. Deal?"
His shoulders relaxed just the tiniest bit. "Deal. Don't make me send a search party."
I gave him a flat look. "You mean yourself and a very dramatic voicemail?"
He smirked. "With sound effects and everything."
"You're a dork."
"And yet you still picked me."
I rolled my eyes, but it tugged a smile out of me, anyway. I gave his hand a quick squeeze. "Be back soon."
"Alright. Be safe."
I nodded once, then slipped out the door.
The cold bit at my face as I stepped outside again, but I barely felt it. My hand stayed curled around the canister in my pocket, more for reassurance than anything else. I kept my eyes up as I walked, watchful and alert but surprisingly not tense. Not like I used to be. I didn't feel the need to brace like I did even a few weeks ago.
I kept a steady pace on my way to the school, listening to every sound around me, but nothing stood out. No footsteps where they shouldn't be. No shadows that looked out of place. It was kind of nice not having to watch my back so closely.
By the time the school came into view, the tight coil in my chest had loosened. I stepped inside and let the door swing shut behind me. The warm blast from the heaters was a relief against the winter air. As I pulled my glovesoff, I realised how cold my fingers had gotten in such a short time.
Eli was right. I needed better gloves.
I stuffed them into my other pocket and moved to the side to send off the text I promised. I hadn't even typed a word, though, before a familiar voice called out to me.
"Mr. Hale! You're back!"
I looked up to see Finlay, one of my SEN kids, on his way out with his mother. He had his school bag slung over his shoulder and his usual shy smile on his face.
"Hey, Fin. Yeah, I'm dropping some things off. Haven't seen you in a bit. How are you?"
"Good. School's... You know. School. But it'll be better when you're back. Mrs Hollis is nice and all, but history class isn't the same."
I chuckled. "I'm sure she's doing fine."
"Yeah, but she doesn't know all the cool stuff that you do. Like that story you told us about the sieges on Dover Castle. That was awesome."
Fin's excitement brought a warmth to my chest I hadn't felt in a while. This was what I loved about teaching – connecting with the kids and making history fun for them. It reminded me of why I did this job and who I was beyond all the chaos that had uprooted my life.
