The moment broke as fast as it came. Before I could move or say a word, he blinked and started to pull back, his eyes wide with fear. "Shit, sorry, I didn't mean to make it weird, I – "
I caught his hands before he could step away completely. Not to stop him. Just to give him the chance to stay, if that was what he wanted.
His fingers were still cold, and now I could feel a tremor in them, too. He wouldn't look at me, either. He was already folding in on himself, his breathing shallow, his shoulders drawn tight. He was bracing to be told off. I hated how familiar that looked on him.
"You don't have to apologise, Ro," I said softly.
He flinched, anyway.
I knew words wouldn't do any good here, so I didn't push him to try again. Instead, I stepped in, steady and careful, and brought my hands up to his face. My thumbs brushed gently along his jaw as I tilted his head, coaxing him to look up at me. I gave him plenty of time to pull away.
He didn't.
Without a word, I leaned in and kissed him. Deliberate. Slow. Not just answering what he'd tried to do, but telling him with every part of me that he'd gotten it right.
His breath caught, and he stiffened beneath my hands. But then he let out a shaky exhale. His whole body softened, and the tension bled out of him in a quiet collapse. His hands clutched at my shirt as he kissed me back.
All of his earlier hesitation went out the window. His grip on me tightened, and his mouth moved over mine with a kind of desperation that made my heart ache. I felt it in every breath he gave me. How long he'd held this back, how much he'd buried it until it threatened to hollow him out. And now it was cracking open all at once.
He gasped a little against my mouth. That sound nearly undid me.
I pulled him in tighter, my fingers sliding into his hair to hold him as close as I could without pulling him apart. He didn't stop me. He didn't falter. If anything, he leaned in closer to chase the contact.
His weight suddenly sagged, and I felt his grip on me loosen. I barely caught him in time when his knees gave out. My arms tightened around his waist to hold him steady on his feet. He leaned into me, breathing heavily as his full weight settled against me.
I nudged him gently backwards until I could lift him up onto the edge of the counter. He let me, and once he was seated, I stepped in between his knees and rested my hands at his sides. I wasn't going anywhere unless he told me to.
Instead, I leaned back in and kissed him again. Slower and deeper now, but not rough. Just steady. This time, he met me halfway. His hand found its way to the back of my neck, and he sighed against my lips as he scooted closer.
I let him have it. I let him take whatever he needed. If this was the moment he finally let himself act on what he wanted, I'd make damn sure he knew it was his to keep.
Rowan
30
For once, my mind went quiet. I couldn't think straight. Everything had narrowed down to Eli's mouth on mine, his hands on my waist, the way he held me together without having to ask what I needed. My thoughts blurred into heat and static. Everything else melted into the background.
My legs tightened around his hips to pull him closer – and make sure he stayed right where he was. His hands drifted until his arms wrapped fully around me, holding me closer against him than I thought was possible. I made a noise into his mouth as he deepened the kiss, something small and wrecked and completely foreign to me.
I didn't mean for this to happen tonight. The kiss was pure impulse, and the second it landed, I was sure I'd messed everything up. But now that the dam had broken, I didn't want to stop. I didn't want to give myself time to question it.
Eli pulled back to catch his breath, and maybe to give me a chance to catch mine, but I chased after him before he could get far. My mouth found his again, rougher this time. Needier. I didn't even know what I was asking for, really. Just more. More of this. More of him.
His hand slid up my back, gentle even now as he tightened his hold on me. Maybe he could tell how close I was to unravelling.
But to my relief, I wasn't afraid of it.
I didn't know how many times I kissed him or how long I let him kiss me back. I'd been holding this in for so damn long that now I couldn't rein it in. Every time I tried to slow down or pull away, something in me clawed for more.
But after a while, the rush started to catch up to me. My chest felt tight. My lungs burned from the lack of air. I finally had no choice but to ease back.
My forehead rested lightly against his after I broke the kiss. My skin felt too hot, and we were both out of breath. His arms stayed locked around me, but he didn't say anything right away.
When he did, I saw a hint of a grin tug at his lips. "Shit. Remind me to brace for impact next time."
The corner of my mouth twitched, and I let out a breath that almost counted as a laugh. "Sorry."
I wasn't actually sorry.
