I nodded. "Yeah."
He didn't move right away. His eyes stayed on mine, and then he stepped closer. One hand rested lightly on my waist as he leaned in. I froze for a second, but he didn't hesitate. His lips met mine, soft and unhurried, his thumb tracing a small circle at my side before he pulled back.
"Get some rest," he said. "You look like you need it."
I gave a quick nod, not trusting my voice, and he finally turned to go.
I stood there with my keys in hand and watched as he disappeared down the road. For the first time in a long while, I felt a flicker of relief.
The kiss had felt different. For years, I'd kept my relationships casual. It was easier that way. I could go through the motions without having to explain why I always seemed to be holding something back. Because I was. Because my heart was already tied up with someone who would never see me that way.
I'd gotten good at it. The casual dates, the light conversation, the careful distance that kept things from getting too serious. It protected me from having to face how empty it all felt. How I was just marking time, waiting for something thatwould never come.
But Marcus didn't feel like marking time. He felt like a chance. A real one. Letting go of Eli wouldn't be easy... But for the first time in longer than I cared to admit, I actually wanted to try.
Eli
5
I was starting to feel boxed in.
Ironic, considering London had always been my playground, buzzing with life and always moving and changing. The noise, the chaos, and the sense that something new always waited around the corner used to fuel me. But lately, the same streets that gave me inspiration were closing in on me. My flat felt empty, and the city's energy faded into static. I needed room to breathe, but I couldn't really find that here anymore.
I stood at the window and stared down at the busy street. People and cars moved in every direction. Always in a rush, always going somewhere, always chasing something. I used to thrive on that. Now I felt stuck.
I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my contacts. My thumb hovered over Rowan's name, but I hesitated when I thought about the last time I saw him. It had been a few weeks, and it was the middle of the summer holiday now, so I knew he'd be free to talk. But his last visit left me unsettled.
An idea hit me before I could really process it. Rowan usually made the trip to London, but maybe that was part of the problem. I could go to him this time.
I didn't plan to stay long, of course. That town would always be too quiet for me. But right now, the idea of slowing down for just a little while sounded like exactly what I needed.The more I thought about it, the more it made sense.
Before I could talk myself out of it, I tossed a few things into a duffel, grabbed my keys, and headed out. I probably should've called him to warn him I was coming, but it felt more right to surprise him.
* * *
I leaned my head against the train window, watching the concrete sprawl of the city give way to the quieter, greener countryside. London was already behind me, and with it, the restlessness I'd been carrying for weeks.
As the train rumbled along, I thought about the last time I went back. I visited now and then, mostly to see Rowan, but the place hadn't felt like home in a long time. Still, seeing the familiar landscape brought a wave of nostalgia. I grew up there, and Rowan moved from London in Year 9. We spent a lot of our free time sneaking into places we weren't supposed to be and finding trouble wherever we could.
Well...Ifound trouble. Rowan mostly got dragged along for the ride. He wasn't much of a risk taker and always worried about getting caught. But he never said no, no matter how ridiculous my plans were.
I smiled to myself as I remembered one of those adventures. We'd sneaked out after dark to meet some friends by the train tracks. Rowan was jittery the whole time, constantly looking over his shoulder and convinced we'd be spotted. I just laughed and told him to relax, that everything would be fine. For the most part, it was.
That was Rowan, though. Steady, dependable, always balancing out my impulsive streak. Even now, after all these years, I found myself leaning on that steadiness. Maybe that was why I was going back now. Something in my life wasn't working, and I needed the kind of stability only Rowan couldbring.
The train pulled into the station, and the warm air hit my face as I stepped off and made my way into town. The streets were calmer here, the air fresher, and the place itself seemed to move at a slower pace. A few people wandered in and out of the shops that lined the high street, but there was no real rush. A stark contrast to the world I'd just left.
Figuring I'd grab a coffee before heading to surprise Rowan, I made my way to one of the local cafés. It was the kind of place that never seemed to change. The sign above the door was faded, and the paint on the windows was a little chipped, but it had the same cosy feel it always had.
I didn't expect to find Rowan here, but as I stepped inside, I spotted him at a corner table with his back to the window. He sat hunched over a notebook, his glasses slipping down his nose, completely absorbed in whatever he was working on. Typical Rowan. Lost in his own world, even in the middle of a semi-crowded space.
I approached his table with a smile tugging at my lips. "Morning, Professor."
His head snapped up, his eyes wide as he took me in. "Eli. What are you doing here?"
"Thought I'd surprise you." I grinned and slid into the seat across from him. "I needed a break from the city. Figured it was time for a visit."
He still looked a little stunned, but he managed a small grin. "You could've given me a heads-up."
