And if I was being honest... Marcus struck me as the type to ignore a court order. If Rowan pushed, Marcus would push back harder. I didn't blame Rowan for being scared of that.
Still, I didn't want to let that prick just worm his way back into Rowan's head. So I set the phone aside and took hold of his hands again to get his attention. "I know you're worried about what he might do. But we can't just let him hang over you like this. We need to do something to protect you."
He finally looked up at me, and for a second, I saw theconflict in his eyes. Part of him wanted to fight back. But the other part that had been worn down was still terrified – and that part was winning.
His gaze drifted away again. "I'm not ready for that," he admitted in a small voice.
I really had to fight to hide the frustration that was bubbling beneath the surface. Not at him, but at the situation. At Marcus. With as fast as Rowan slipped back into the fear, I couldn't guarantee he wouldn't take it the wrong way if he saw me angry.
So I tried a different approach. "Okay. I don't want to push you into something you're not ready for. But I'm not just going to sit by and do nothing, either."
He frowned. "What's that mean?"
"I want to set up a camera outside your door."
That made him tense again. I felt it in his hands before I even saw it on his face. "Eli – "
"It's just a precaution," I said before he could shut it down entirely. "In case he escalates. If he shows up, we need a record. He'll be none the wiser. I promise."
Rowan looked away with his jaw clenched. I could see the resistance building all over again. But I didn't want him to be paranoid. I wanted him to be prepared. If Marcus had his eye on Rowan again, I at least needed to keep mine on the door.
"You'll be able to see who's in the hall anytime you want," I added. "It's just to put a barrier between you and him."
He fidgeted, and for a second, I thought he was going to shoot it down, anyway. Then, finally, he gave a small nod. "Okay. Butonlyif it's hidden. I don't want him to know it's there."
Relief flickered in my chest. This didn't fix anything, but it meant he was willing to take a small step in the right direction. After weeks of watching him claw his way back from bracing against every shadow, the fact that he agreed at all feltlike progress.
But he still looked straight-up spent, tense in ways I hadn't seen in a while. His shoulders sagged under a weight he couldn't seem to shake, and he kept his gaze fixed somewhere off to the side. Avoiding me. Holding it all in.
I reached up and gently brushed a bit of hair out of his face. "Hey... You remember what I said?"
His eyes flicked back to mine, tired and wary.
My hand drifted to rest against his cheek. He flinched slightly at the contact, then went still. I expected him to pull away, but he didn't. If anything, he leaned into it. Just a little.
"I promised I wasn't going to let him get to you again. I meant it. Whatever it takes, Ro, we'll get through this."
He didn't answer. He just watched me, his expression drawn tight with a hint of something unreadable in his eyes.
My thumb brushed lightly along his cheekbone. Then, without thinking, I leaned in and touched my nose gently to his. "You know you're safe with me, right?"
His breath caught, and his lips parted. He hesitated, then leaned in just enough that I could feel his warmth. His gaze dropped to my lips and lingered there, and I thought he might finally let it happen.
But then I saw that flicker of doubt, the subtle pullback. The moment passed, and instead of acting on it, he brought his hand up to rest against mine as his gaze drifted elsewhere again.
"Yeah..." he whispered at last. "I know."
Of course he didn't go through with it. I'd be lying if I said the hesitation didn't sting a little, but I couldn't be mad at him. Not when every step forward still came with the weight of what Marcus did to him. I didn't let my disappointment show, though. I just held still and let his hand stay against mine as he pulled himself together.
Deep down, I knew he wasn't ready. And that was okay. If it took a hundred quiet moments like this to get him there, I'dmeet every one of them with the same patience. I just wanted him to feel safe enough to reach for what he wanted.
And when he did, I'd be waiting for him.
* * *
The next afternoon, I stood outside Rowan's flat, balancing on a step ladder as I fitted the small square camera into the upper corner of the hallway wall. It was wireless, black, barely bigger than a matchbox. Easy to miss even if you were looking for it. Here at the end of the corridor, the overhead lights didn't quite reach and made it easy to hide it in the shadowy corners near the ceiling.
It was the best spot I could've asked for.
