I gave a small nod toward the door. "Come on, then. Let's get out of here."
* * *
Back at the flat, I helped Rowan out of his jacket. He moved slow with a pained look on his face as he worked one arm free, then the other. I kept a hand near his back in case his balance wavered, but he managed it without needing the support. Still, I didn't back off until he made his way toward the sofa.
I watched him as I tossed the jacket over a chair. Every single step he took was stiff and measured. By the time he sank into the cushions, he looked like he'd just run a marathon. I could almost feel a quiet, drained kind of exhaustion settle into his bones and not leave room for much else.
I shrugged out of my own jacket, but Rowan didn't even seem to notice I was still there. He leaned forward slowly and rested his elbows on his knees, pressing his face into his hands. A second later, he flinched and pulled back. His fingers twitched near where the stitches used to be, and then he pulled his glasses off and set them on the table.
I checked my watch. "When are you next due your pain meds?"
He squinted at the wall clock. "About an hour, I think."
"Alright. How about I cook tonight? Something simple. We've had enough terrible curry to last a year."
He just gave a vague nod, still slouched forward and too far gone to reply.
I turned toward the kitchen – then stopped.
Something about the way he sat there tugged at me. Hewasn't just tired. He looked hollowed out, the kind of worn down that came from the long, dragging weight of too many bad days in a row. And he wasn't hiding it.
So instead of heading to the stove, I turned back and walked over to kneel in front of him. "Hey... You okay?"
He stayed in that hunched position, head low, shoulders drawn tight. At last, he muttered, "Today took more out of me than I expected."
I kept quiet and waited for him to continue.
"I almost cancelled. I didn't want to leave the flat. I didn't want to be out thereat all." He finally lifted his head a bit, but he wouldn't look at me. "It's stupid, I know. I couldn't even manage ten minutes down the road on my own."
"It's not stupid, Ro."
He gave a weak huff. "It's not something I should be struggling with. How am I supposed to go back to teaching when I can't even walk down the street? If this doesn't change..." He leaned forward to cover his eyes. "I don't know."
I reached out slowly and rested my hand on his knee. "You don't have to figure it all out right now. You're off work till November, right?"
He nodded but didn't look up.
"Then focus on healing and worry about the rest when you have the energy for it. It's barely been two weeks. No one expects you to bounce back so soon. You don't have to be ready to go back tomorrow. Take it a day at a time."
He stayed quiet for a long moment. When he did speak, his voice sounded more worn out than I'd ever heard from him. "Thanks for putting up with me."
Seriously, Ro?
I gave his knee a light squeeze. "You make it sound like a chore."
He still wouldn't make eye contact, so I gently guided his hand away from his face. "Rowan... Look at me for asecond."
It took a breath or two, but he finally did.
"Let's get something clear, yeah? I'm here because I want to be. Not because I have to be. I don't know what kind of bullshit he put in your head, but I'm notputting upwith you. I care about you, and I want to see you get back to yourself again."
His expression faltered. His mouth moved, but whatever he meant to say didn't make it out. His jaw clenched, his eyes darted away again, and I thought he might shove it all down again.
I didn't wait for that wall to go back up.
I slipped a hand behind his neck and guided him forward until his forehead rested against my shoulder. He flinched, and then I felt his breath shudder. He didn't break down the way he did at the hospital, but something still cracked open. I felt it in the way his hand slowly lifted and curled into my shirt.
His fingers started to shake, and he pressed his face a little harder against me. I just held him there to keep him steady. I could feel how much he was fighting to hold it together. And I wanted to make sure he knew he didn't have to hide it from me.
