My thoughts may have been sluggish and wrapped in a haze of exhaustion, but the idea still should've made me pause. Right now, though, it was easier to just nod. Not quite agreeing. Not disagreeing, either. Just ... letting it happen.
Marcus sighed softly and pressed another kiss to my temple. His arms tightened around me, his warmth sinking into my skin. "I just want what's best for you. You know that, right?"
I was too drained to do anything more than make a quiet sound of agreement. Maybe a little space from Eli wouldn't be a bad thing. Not forever. But I'd been so on edge lately and stretched between too many things. I just needed a chance to refocus.
Eli
9
I hesitated for a second before I knocked. I'd been to Rowan's flat a hundred times before. But tonight, as I stood at his door, I couldn't shake the weird feeling that I was butting in where I shouldn't be.
I didn't hear any movement from inside, so I knocked again.
More silence. Maybe Rowan wasn't home.
I almost knocked a third time, just to make sure he wasn't around, when I finally heard soft footsteps approaching. The door opened, and Rowan stood there looking ... fine.
Not great. Not terrible. Just fine.
Something flickered across his face for a split second before he smoothed his expression out. It went too fast for me to be able to guess what it might've been. "What are you doing here? I thought you'd be back in London by now."
He sounded surprised but not exactly unhappy to see me. Still, I sensed a beat of hesitation and a tiny change in his posture. One I probably wouldn't have picked up on if I didn't know him so damn well.
I forced a grin and tried to keep my tone light. "Yeah, but I've barely seen you since I got here."
He huffed out something that sounded like it was supposed to be a laugh, but it didn't quite land right. "Sorry.Been busy."
There it was. The excuse.
I nodded and stuffed my hands into my pockets. "I kinda got that from all your one-word texts."
Another pause. His eyes flicked away briefly before he moved back to open the door a little wider. "You want to come in?"
"Wouldn't have come by if I didn't."
He didn't respond, just stepped aside to let me in. I walked into the familiar space, giving the room a quick scan even though I knew nothing had changed. The same bookshelf in the corner, the same too-comfortable sofa. But the atmosphere felt different.
Rowan closed the door and rubbed the back of his neck. He didn't seem to know how to react to me being here. That wasn't like him. "You want anything to drink?"
His tone was too casual. He was trying too hard to sound normal.
I leaned against the arm of the sofa instead of sitting down. "I'm good. You've been kind of MIA, though. Just wanted to check in."
He shrugged and headed for the kitchen, anyway. "School stuff. The year starts soon. Lots to do."
"Uh-huh." I watched him as he turned his back to me to open a cabinet. "That's it?"
He went quiet for a second too long before answering. Then he became a little too focused on filling a glass with water. "Yeah. What else would it be?"
I debated whether or not to push. He wasn't exactly dodging the question, but there was a stiffness in his tone. Like he was trying to stop me from catching on to something. Finally, I just said, "You tell me, Ro."
"We're fine." The response was automatic. Too quick.
I raised an eyebrow. "Yeah? 'Cause last time we talkedin person, I brought something up, and you've basically ghosted me since then."
He exhaled through his nose and finally took a sip of the water. "You didn't do anything, Eli. I just ... needed a minute."
I watched him closely, trying to get a read on what he was actually saying. His posture was too careful, and he seemed hyper-aware of himself in a way that he usually wasn't when it was just him and me. His fingers rapped against the side of the glass a few times before they came to a sudden stop. He'd caught himself mid-fidget.
