He let himself be pulled through the crowd. Fin chatted his ear off the whole way, gesturing wildly with his free hand. Rowan followed with a look of patient resignation that made me laugh under my breath.
I watched them disappear into the flow of people before I turned back to the path, not quite sure what to do with myself. The market stretched wide in both directions, and bells jingled faintly from one of the stands nearby. Somewhere farther down, someone was playing a gentle acoustic version of a Christmas song I half-recognised.
I stuffed my hands into my pockets and wandered for a few steps, my eyes skimming over wool scarves, handmade candles, and little spice tins with handwritten labels. I didn't stop at any of the stalls, though. None of it felt quite right.
Then I caught sight of a small booth tucked just off to the side. Easy to miss if you weren't looking for it. Something about it made me veer off the main path without thinking. When I got close, I saw what they were selling.
A slow grin crept across my face. Perfect.
I waited my turn behind a woman who tried to haggle on the price, then pointed to what I wanted. The seller bagged itquickly in a small paper bag and handed it off without a word. I tucked it away into my coat pocket where it would be safe and hidden.
Then I stepped back into the current of people to let myself wander and wait for Rowan to reappear.
By the time we got home, the snow had started to stick to us. It wasn't much. Just a dusting. But it was enough to turn our coats damp and cling to the curls at the back of Rowan's neck. He reached up to brush it away the second we stepped inside, and a few flakes scattered to the floor.
I shut the door behind us and tugged off my scarf. "You know," I said, eyeing the object still clutched in his gloved hands, "you didn't actually have to buy the thing."
He looked down at the hand-carved wooden hedgehog. It looked about the size of a grapefruit and sported a painted-on striped Santa hat and, for some reason, bright yellow sunglasses. "Fin was excited about it. I didn't want to hurt his feelings."
"So you let a twelve-year-old talk you into spending twenty quid on a disco hedgehog."
Rowan shrugged as he hung up his coat. "It's whimsical."
"It looks like it sells vapes behind Tesco."
That got a laugh out of him. An actual laugh, not just the breathy kind I usually had to work for. He set the figure on the table and unwrapped his scarf. "I'll leave it on your side of the bed, then. Since you're so fond of it."
I glared at him. "If you pull a Godfather trick on me, I swear I'll throw you into the sun."
He tried to school his expression, but the corners of his mouth kept twitching. "I'm going to jump in the shower," he said, somehow keeping his voice level. "I can't feel my toes." He backed toward the hallway with forced composure, though I didn't miss the flash of a grin before he turned around and madehis escape.
I watched him go, and then the tension released from my shoulders. Such an easy laugh. And he could still throw a jab with a straight face. Not long ago, that version of him felt a million miles away. For a long time, I wasn't sure I'd ever see it again.
My gaze drifted back to the table, where the hedgehog sat in all its ridiculous glory. I stared at it for a second. Its painted eyes stared back through those crooked little sunglasses, completely unapologetic.
"You are going to haunt me in my sleep," I muttered – and turned it so it faced the wall.
The sound of running water reached me a minute later, muffled but constant behind the bathroom door.
I slipped a hand into my coat pocket and pulled out the paper bag. The edges were slightly crinkled now, but a quick peek inside showed that the thing itself was still in perfect condition. I turned the bag over in my palm, then glanced around the flat for the right spot to hang it.
Rowan
38
I stayed under the hot water longer than usual and let it run over my shoulders to wash away the last of the winter chill. After the insanity of the past few months, the idea of a calm Christmas had felt out of reach. And I definitely hadn't expected Eli to be part of it. And yet today was perfect in ways I never could have imagined.
A smile tugged at my lips as I thought back on it. Our walk through the snow, the warm pub, familiar faces, sparkling lights on fresh powder. It almost seemed like something from another life. One I'd always wanted but never thought I'd have. I leaned forward against the shower wall and let the memory of Eli's laugh flicker through my mind, the way his eyes lit up when he looked at me.
It was strange, almost, how natural it felt to be with him. I'd gotten so used to solitude, especially around holidays. I felt out of place at first, as if I was intruding on something that wasn't mine. But with Eli, nothing about it felt false. It just fit.
Eventually, I shut off the water and braced myself against the cold air as I stepped out. I wrapped a towel around myself, shivering a little as I grabbed another to rub my hair dry. The warmth faded from the air quickly, but right now, nothing could ruin my mood.
After I got dressed, I stepped out of the bathroom andwas struck by how still the flat was. Quiet. Empty in a way that made me pause. I wondered if Eli had left, maybe to grab something or step out for air. But that didn't make sense.
"Eli?"
Nothing.
