Chapter Ten
Ewen’s throat tightened, the weight of Lamont’s words hitting him harder than he expected. There was something about the honesty and the genuine emotion behind them that struck a chord in his heart. His eyes burned, and he blinked rapidly, trying to hold back the tears threatening to spill over.
“I...” His voice cracked. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I’m not used to that. Someone wanting to be with me…or to protect me.”
Lamont’s arms came around him, and Ewen leaned into the strong arms, taking comfort from someone else in a way he hadn’t allowed himself in years.
“After my mom died three years ago,” Ewen said quietly, the words coming easier when he didn’t have to look at Lamont’s face, “I realized I was completely alone. I mean, I have a sister, but we haven’t spoken in five years. I’ve got no idea why. She was another person who had just disappeared one day. She didn’t even come to Mom’s funeral.”
Lamont’s hand moved to the back of Ewen’s neck, fingers threading through his hair. The gesture was tender, and yet it grounded him somehow. Ewen closed his eyes and kept talking.
“My dad was never around. Even when Mom was alive, he’d disappear for months at a time. Business trips, he’d say, but I think he just...didn’t want to be with us. He didn’t want a family.” Ewen’s fingers twisted in the blanket. “Mom did her best, but she was working two jobs to keep us fed. I learned early on that I had to take care of myself. No one else was going to do it.”
“Ewen…”
“No, let me finish, please. You need to know this about me.” Ewen pulled back just enough to look at Lamont’s face. “I’m good at taking care of myself. I worked my way through college, got a job at a small paper, then worked my way up to The New York Times. I check my facts three times over. I protect my sources. Even with this recent business, I booked a completely different hotel room just to stash my source material. I’m still paying for two hotel rooms. I’m not the type to take unnecessary risks.” His voice wavered. “At least, I thought I wasn’t.”
The memory of that basement crashed over him again - the smell of mold, the bite of zip ties around his wrists and ankles, combined with the certainty that he was going to die in that chair.
“Being captured like that...” Ewen swallowed hard. “It shook me to my core. I kept wondering if I’d just gotten too cocky, if I had my head so far up my ass that I missed something obvious. Did I truly believe I was smarter than I actually am? I don’t know.” He looked down at his hands. “I’ve always had to be smart enough to survive on my own. But what if I’m not? What if the only reason I’m alive right now is pure dumb luck?”
“Now you need to stop.” Lamont’s voice was firm but gentle. He cupped Ewen’s face, tilting it up until their eyes met. “You survived because you’re brilliant. You knew to stash your research, and you knew they were following you. You even had an escape plan.”
Ewen shook his head as he chuckled. “Are you talking about my grand plan that involved breaking paranormal law by shifting in front of humans?”
“It was a plan that kept you alive until I could find you.” Lamont’s thumb brushed across Ewen’s jaw. “Do you want to know what makes me feel like absolute garbage?”
His breath caught at the raw honesty in Lamont’s expression, Ewen shook his head.
“I couldn’t scent you as my mate.” Lamont’s jaw tightened. “I’m one of the strongest shifter types in existence, and I couldn’t use my nose to tell me you were mine. None of us hellhounds can do that. We don’t have that ability. When I met you at Pier888, all I knew was that you intrigued me. I could tell you had a beautiful soul. I knew I wanted to know more about you, and I was worried about that guy who grabbed your arm” - his hands dropped to Ewen’s shoulders - “but I didn’t know you were mine. I didn’t know that walking away from you would nearly kill you. That guts me.”
“Technically, you didn’t walk away,” Ewen said quietly. “Lord Hades had already summoned you.”
“I still leftyou.” Lamont’s voice roughened. “I felt something pulling me toward you, but I ignored it because I’d stopped looking for a mate centuries ago. I convinced myself it was just curiosity, professional interest in whatever story you were chasing, maybe. But because I couldn’t recognize who you are to me, you suffered.”
Ewen opened his mouth to protest, but Lamont continued.
“Ten days, Ewen. Ten long days. I’ll not forget that in a hurry. You were alone and hurting for that long because I’m an idiot who didn’t pay attention to what my hound was trying to tell me.” Lamont’s eyes darkened. “I can’t change that. I can’t go back and do it differently. But I swear to you, I will spend however long it takes for you to understand that you can absolutely trust me. That you’re not alone anymore.”
The tears Ewen had been holding back finally spilled over. “I want to believe that so badly.”
“Then believe it. Your clever fox can scent that I’m not lying.” Lamont pulled him closer to where Ewen couldn’t smell anything else but his mate. “I never had a family, Ewen. Not in the way you did. I don’t know what it’s like to have a mom, or to have lost one. I wasn’t born to parents. I was created by Lord Hades, fully formed, with a purpose and a job. My pack - my brothers - are the only family I’ve ever known. We spent thousands of years together in the Underworld before Lord Hades gave us this chance on Earth.”
Lamont’s hand moved in slow circles on Ewen’s back.
“As I’ve told you before, when we came to Earth, we had to separate. Twelve hellhounds in one place would be considered a threat to established covens, packs, and any other paranormal group. So, we scattered, and we’ve lived apart ever since. We can communicate through the pack bond, but it’s not the same as being together all the time the way we used to be.” Lamont’s voice softened. “And now it seems we hadn’t been forgotten. Slowly, one by one, six of my brothers have found their mates. I watched them fall in love and create the kind of family and homes I never believed I would have.”
Ewen wiped at his eyes, listening.
“But I confess that inside, I stopped hoping,” Lamont admitted. “I didn’t think it would happen to me. My collar box had been down in the Underworld for centuries because I never thought I would need it. I traveled so much for my own work, and I tried to tell myself that it was okay - that maybe the Fates had made a mistake or forgotten about me, and that was fine as well. I genuinely believed that I would spend eternity watching my brothers be happy while I stayed alone.”
“Lamont...”
“But then I met you.” Lamont’s smile was small but genuine. “And my hound knew. Even if I was too stubborn to listen, he knew you were special to us somehow. He’s been insufferable about it, honestly. All the time we were in Tuscany - yes, my hound understood protecting Giorgio and Enda was important, but he wanted to track you down immediately. He wouldn’t shut up about it.”
Despite everything, Ewen huffed out a laugh. “Your hound has good instincts.”
“Better than mine, apparently.” Lamont rested his forehead against Ewen’s. “But maybe it’s time you started relying on your fox instincts, too. You know what being a fated mate means from an academic sense, now learn what it’s like to live with one. I understand what it’s like to feel alone, not having anyone watching your back. And I know what it’s like to suddenly have brothers who would drop everything if I needed them.”
