“Ah. Stone’s playing dirty.”
“Yes!”
“Is Stone aware you’ve found a local game and joined it?” Clara asked.
“No. And I’m not telling him. Stone doesn’t deserve to know,” I said, but my words lacked heat.
Clara eyed me shrewdly as she positioned herself carefully and sank into a chair. “Stone is chasing you again.”
“No. I’ve made it clear what I think of his actions.” A wave a hand to dismiss the idea.
“Possibly, but Stone, by all accounts, didn’t stop loving you.”
Surprised, I turned to Clara. “Are you suggesting…? What are you saying?”
“For years, darling, I’ve watched you avoid men and anything resembling a date. You loved Stone so much that his betrayal shredded you. But since you’ve been back and running into Stone, you’re alive again, sweet girl.”
“Mainly because I want to kick Stone’s balls into his throat,” I retorted, and Clara raised her eyebrows before laughing.
“That’s indelicate, but the imagery is rather visceral! If you feel this strongly about Stone, ask why.”
“Stone had his chance; there isn’t room for a second. How do I get the image of Chelsea sucking his cock out of my head?”
Clara shook her head. “I didn’t need that picture, darling. Even so, you know the truth. Can you forgive Stone for being an idiotic, weak, thoughtless man? If not, send back everything and make it clear. If you spot him, turn and walk away; don’t engage.Stone will soon get the message.”
Did I want that? I liked fighting with Stone, if I was honest. I sank into the armchair as Rose brought in a late lunch. It was a habit Clara and I had fallen into. Clara had an early breakfast, then a morning snack, which tided her over until lunch, and then we had dinner around seven. I puffed my cheeks out.
Could I really stop engaging with Stone?
No, that was the honest, brutal answer. No. I couldn’t. Because, despite the hurt and pain, I was still attracted to him. Stone was my weakness, which made me a fool.
Clara said nothing but sat in comfortable silence as I searched my feelings. I didn’t love Stone; that emotion was dead, but some feeling remained. My hate was fading despite trying to cling to it.
I wanted to walk away, I seriously did, because falling back in love with Stone would be easy. Far too easy. Even so, I questioned everything because Chelsea sucking Stone’s cock and her eyes rolling in sheer ecstasy haunted me. Could I ever move past that? I saw Stone’s expression once again, lust written clearly across it, and cringed.
Yet Stone claimed that had been faked. Honestly, that image would never leave me. If he looked at me with passion again, I’d know he’d looked at Chelsea the same way. Talk about a romantic moment killer!
“May I say one thing, darling?” Clara asked, and I jumped, startled.
“I was talking aloud?”
“Yes. Stone’s expression would be different. You’re remembering him as a young man. Stone’s older now, laughter lines where there weren’t before, thicker stubble where he was a smooth-chinned youth. Stone has faced life, April, the same as you.”
“Hey! I don’t have wrinkles!” I exclaimed, and Clara laughed.
“Darling, I never said you did. But you have got laughter lines around your eyes and mouth. Same as Stone. And the man has that rather delectable five o’clock shadow. He’s older, wiser, and more experienced in the world. A different person from the one you dated a decade ago.”
“Why do I think you’re playing devil’s advocate?”
“Because I am. I wish to see you happy, and you haven’t been. No, don’t argue,” Clara demanded as I spoke. “You’ve been satisfied with work but merely content with life. This might be selfish, April, but I need to know you’re happy and loved. That was my one regret when I lay there on the floor for two days. That I wouldn’t get to witness that. I don’t want you to walk through life with nobody by your side; don’t be me.”
I dropped my head. Clara hit where it hurt. I feared being alone, and maybe it was time I faced my fears head-on.
Chapter Eleven.
April
“Stone,” I called as he walked to a vehicle. Stone looked up, surprised, and stopped on the sidewalk as I approached.
