Nothing comes.
When we get inside, Scout takes off her heels. I stand in the foyer, feeling awkward and I study her. It's usually easy to tell what she's feeling from her expression, but she keeps her head down. Maybe hiding from me, I realize.
"Are you okay?"
Her lips turn up in the ghost of a smile, but she doesn't look at me. "Thanks for pretending to be my boyfriend."
Then without another word, she disappears into her room and closes the door with a soft click. I stand in the hallway for a full minute, staring at that closed door, wanting to knock and knowing I don't have the right.
I retreat to my bedroom with the door locked and the lights off. My phone glows in my hand, the app open, her username staring up at me like an accusation.
I know it's wrong, but if I text Scout, I know I can ask her about her feelings. And because StatMan is anonymous, there’s a chance that she'll tell him all about it.
God, if she ever finds out I've been milking her for information, there will be hell to pay. I can already see her packing up and moving out. Too bad that doesn't stop me from texting her.
StatMan12
Tell me about your day.
She doesn't answer right away. It's long enough that I start to panic. I imagine her deleting the app, blocking me, moving on to someone who isn't a coward hiding behind a screen.
Then her reply comes through.
Yoga4Lyfe
Rough. My ex showed up at an event. He said some things that stuck.
My chest tightens. I know exactly what he said. I was standing right there. I heard every word.
StatMan12
What did he say?
Yoga4Lyfe
He just made me feel like shit.
Rage floods through me hot and immediate. I want to find Enzo right now and break his jaw.
StatMan12
He's wrong. You're perfect.
Yoga4Lyfe
You shouldn't say that. You don't know me in real life.
StatMan12
If you were mine, I'd shut him up by going down on you until you couldn't say his name. You'd be so blissed out that all you could say was mine.
The reply comes faster this time.
Yoga4Lyfe
I know I should want more from you. I should only spend time with men who're willing to be seen with me. But I think I'm addicted to getting off with you.
Shame floods through me, hot and sick and overwhelming. She needs more than what I can give her. She deserves someone who'll claim her in daylight, not just in the dark behind a screen. I'm lying about who I am in order to keep this sickgame going.
