"Smart coach. You pissed about that?"
"At first. Not anymore."
"What changed?"
I think about Scout, about almost losing her because I couldn't be honest. About the guys talking me down from my spiral. About realizing that being strong doesn't mean doing everything alone.
"I figured out I can't keep pretending I'm fine when I'm not," I say. "It's cost me too much already."
Dr. Max nods, scribbling something. "Tell me about your shoulder."
The next hour passes faster than I expect. He asks questions that cut straight to the bone, doesn't let me hide behind vague answers or deflections. When I try to minimize my fear about retirement, he calls me on it. When I startspiraling about Scout leaving, he makes me actually articulate why I believe that instead of just accepting the anxiety as fact.
"Here's your homework," he says as the session winds down. "I want you to write down five things you're good at that have nothing to do with hockey. Can be anything. Cooking, making people laugh, parallel parking, I don't give a shit. Just five things."
"That's it?"
"That's it. Sounds easy, right?" His smile is knowing. "Most athletes can't do it. They've tied their entire identity to their sport for so long they can't see anything else. Prove me wrong."
"I will."
"Good." He stands, walks me to the door. "Same time next week?"
"Yeah. Same time."
"And Silas?" He claps me on the shoulder. "You're doing the right thing. Therapy's not weakness. It's maintenance. You wouldn't skip PT for your shoulder, right? This is PT for your brain."
The comparison makes sense in a way nothing else has. "Thanks, Dr. Max."
"Just Max is fine. See you next week."
I leave the office feeling lighter than I have in weeks. No breakthrough, no magical cure, just the beginning of actual work. Work I should have started years ago.
My phone buzzes as I'm walking to my truck.
Scout
How did it go?
She knows I had the appointment. I told her last night, nervous she'd be weird about me switching therapists. Insteadshe just kissed me and said she was proud of me for going back.
Me
Good. Really good actually. New therapist is solid.
Scout
I'm so glad, baby. Dinner tonight to celebrate?
Me
Yeah. I'll cook.
Scout
You're perfect. I love you.
Me
