I want her.
I want to fucking consume her until she’s panting and screaming my name.
But I can’t.
She’s innocent, and this is make-believe.
Keeping my arm against her lower back, I sit us up and slow down our kiss before breaking it. Enlarged pupils latch on to mine as we stare at one another. Our heaving breaths are the only sounds in the room as we come down from our kissing frenzy. Her lips are swollen, and I fucking love knowing I did that.
Fuck.
What the hell am I doing? That got out of control so fast.
I settle her on the bed beside me and adjust my dick behind my jeans. Her eyes track the motion, but it’s not like she doesn’t know I’m turned on. I’m painfully hard and digging against the zip of my jeans. “Sorry,” I murmur, biting on the side of my mouth. “I shouldn’t have let it go that far.”
She gulps, wetting her lips before speaking. “Weshouldn’t have let it go so far, but at least we’ve practiced now. It won’t be so awkward when we kiss in public.” She shrugs, like it’s no biggie and this is just part of the role. The nipples trying to poke holes through her silky pajama top suggest otherwise, but I’m glad she acknowledges it meant nothing. It’s all part of the ruse.
It helps to get my head back on straight. “Of course.” I stand. “I should get going. Knowing Ma, she’ll be knocking on my door way too bleedin’ early.”
Her light laughter ghosts over me like a caress, and I seriously need to get the fuck out of here before I go back for seconds.
“Goodnight, Callan.”
“Bye,” I say, sliding the window back to occupy my hands so I don’t reach for her again.
“See you tomorrow.”
I glance back at her one last time. “Sleep tight, beautiful. Try not to dream of me,” I add, winking before I exit her room and scramble down the tree to head for home.
“Callan,” Ma says, knocking on my door again. It feels like I’ve barely slept. My mind wouldn’t switch off, and I spent the night tossing and turning as visions of kissing Astrid played in a continuous loop in my head. I ended up jerking off in the middle of the night because I was still so wound up.
“Go away,” I shout before burying my head under my pillow. Two seconds later, it’s yanked away, and I groan.
“Time to get up. You promised you’d help. I want this house to be the embodiment of family and love and happiness,” Mum says. “Everyone chipping in will mean it’s a real labor of love.”
“You smoking the good stuff already this morning, Ma?” I reluctantly roll onto my back. “’Cause you’re sounding a little insane.” I rub at my tired eyes while Mum laughs.
“I’m just happy.” She sits on the edge of my bed, brushing hair out of my eyes. Her features soften as she looks at me. “I’m glad you’re happier here now.” She side-eyes the boxes still stacked by my wall. “Though it’d make me happier if you unpacked those.”
“Ma.” I am not in the mood for a lecture right now.
“It will have to be done before we fix up your room. Maybe Astrid could help.” Her lips lift in a wide smile. “She’sdownstairs, by the way. Already prepping the walls in the living room.”
I bolt upright, suddenly wide-awake. “You should’ve said.”
Mum laughs again. “Get dressed and come downstairs. I have barmbrack, and I made a pot of tea.”
After she leaves, I brush my teeth, take a piss, grab a quick shower, jerk off again, and then dress in a ratty old shirt and tracksuit bottoms, forgoing shoes to walk downstairs in socks.
My family and Astrid are congregated around the table in the newly enlarged kitchen. The wall between the kitchen and dining room is gone, and the space is fully open. The guys ripped out half of the presses yesterday, too, and they’ll be back to finish the job tomorrow morning before they begin installing the new kitchen.
“Come sit beside Astrid,” Ma says—subtle as ever—as she pours tea into mugs from the pot.
“Morning, sleepyhead.” Astrid smiles at me as I claim the chair alongside her.
Man is she a sight for sore eyes. Her hair is piled into a messy bun on top of her head, and her skin literally glows with vitality. Her complexion is flawless, smooth as silk, and my fingers twitch with an urge to touch her. Instead, I lean forward, feathering my lips softly against hers in a barely there kiss. “Morning, beautiful.”
A familiar flush lightly stains her cheeks. Finding new ways to make her blush is at the top of my list of favorite things these days.
