“What the hell does that mean?” Gwen snaps, glowering at Renee.
“It’s not an insult, just that you’re two vastly different people. Astrid has the confidence to go for it, but she likes to wait for the guy to make his move. Am I right?”
“Yeah. I usually wait for the guy to make the first move, but maybe Gwen is onto something. Perhaps Callan is used to girls making the first move, and he’s waiting for me to go there.”
“We’d best head back before the guys send out a search party,” Renee says, lifting one shoulder and urging us to follow her as she exits the bathroom.
The noise level escalates as we walk the hallway back toward the room with the main stage. “It could be he has feelings for you, but he’s trying to deny it,” Renee says, shouting to be heard over the music and the sounds of the crowd screaming and singing. “He believes girlfriends are distractions,” she says into my ear. “You and him fake dating is showing him that isn’t the case, but if you push too soon, you might scare him off. I think you should wait until he’s ready to make the jump, but that’s just my opinion. You do you, and we’ll support you, no matter what.”
Callan bundles me up in his arms when we return to the guys, much the same way Scott and Thor wrap their arms around their girls. Is Callan looking at them and wishing we were more like I am? There is no point denying it to myself. I’m falling for him, and I desperately wish it were real.
I have never seen Gwen looking so happy. She’s not even drinking tonight, but she looks high on love, swaying in Scott’s arms, wearing a dreamy, lovestruck expression as she stares at him. She only has eyes for him. The rest of us might as well beinvisible, but I love this for her. She deserves to find this kind of love.
Watching my friends with their boyfriends is bittersweet. I’m thrilled they are in love, but envious it’s not me. Which is a bit crazy because I promised myself at the start of senior year that my focus would be my studies and my career. IfMormorwere here, she’d tell me to stop overanalyzing, let nature take its course, and just go with the flow, and she’s right. I’m not going to force this or beat myself up because I’ve changed my mind about boys and senior year. I’ll let Callan decide, hoping it won’t take too long before he’s on the same page and willing to be boyfriend and girlfriend for real.
“Thanks for an amazing night,” I tell Callan as we stand outside my front door a few hours later.
“It was fun.” His fingers sweep along my cheek, and my heart stutters behind my chest wall.
“Are you sure I can’t reimburse you for the ticket?” Scott bought all the tickets online, and I planned on giving him the money for mine until Callan confirmed it was already taken care of. He wouldn’t even let me pay for my pizza.
“I told you my parents covered it.” His gaze drops to my mouth as his fingers brush against my lips. My legs feel like they might collapse with the way he’s looking at me. “Ma said if you won’t take any money for your interior design help, she’s going to find other ways to pay you back.” His eyes bore into mine as he continues gliding his fingers along my lips, and I wonder if he’s even aware he’s doing it.
“She’s ridiculous,” I croak, working hard to sound composed when my insides feel like Jell-O, “but it was a sweet gesture, and I appreciate it.”
“She adores you.” He brushes his lips against my cheek, leaving a trail of fiery shivers in his wake. I cling to his arm, worried I’ll melt into a puddle at his feet if he keeps this up. “As do I,” he adds in a breathy voice.
“Callan,” I whisper, trailing one hand up his impressive chest over his black shirt. Wetting my lips as I stare at his mouth, I silently beg him to get over his reluctance and just kiss me.
“I should get home.” Like always, he pulls back, shoving his hands in his jeans pockets and averting his eyes.
I try not to feel rejected, but it’s hard. I can’t be the only one feeling this. Unless I’m completely losing my mind and imagining things that aren’t there. No. My friends see it too. Just give him time, that’s what Renee said, and it’s good advice.Just go with the flow, Astrid.I hearMormor’svoice in my ear, and I see her smile as she urges me not to get myself all worked up. If it’s meant to be, it will happen.
“Of course.” I straighten up and flash him a big smile. “We have a full day of painting ahead of us.”
“Ugh. Don’t remind me.” He drags his fingers through his hair, and I wish they were mine.
For fuck’s sake, Astrid, get a damn grip on yourself.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” I say, curling my hand around the door handle. “Thanks again for driving.”
“No problem.” He rocks back on his heels, seeming reluctant to move, so I act decisively, lifting my hand in a wave before I slip inside my house.
“How was your date?” Mom asks from the bottom of the stairs, and I shriek as adrenaline surges in my chest, and my blood pressure ramps up a few notches.
“Fan i helvete! You scared me half to death, Mom!”
“Sorry. I was just heading to bed when you came in.”
“The date was great. Asteroid is amazing live, and we had fun.”
“He didn’t kiss you goodnight. Did you have a fight?”
“OMG, Mom. Were youwatchingus?”
“It wasn’t on purpose.”
I narrow my eyes and purse my lips. “So, you just accidentally drew back the blind, pressed your face to the window, and watched me with my boyfriend?”
