Mom.I want my mom, but is it selfish to call her and make her trek all this way when I’ll be fine in a few days?
“Astrid.”
“Huh?”
His face puckers with concern. “Are you in pain?”
“Yeah. My stomach hurts.”
“Okay. You freshen up, and I’ll get some painkillers.”
I watch him leave in a bit of a daze. After a painful pee, I strip out of my bloodstained nightdress and panties and take a shower, careful not to wet my hair. When I get out, I realize I have no clean nightdress or underwear to put on. Someone has carefully stacked the pads the hospital gave me on the counter, and I really, really hope it was Roni. “Fuck my life.” Careful to hide my body, I open the door a fraction and pop my head out. “Callan.”
“You okay?” He hops up from the chair.
“I need clean underwear and a nightdress. Can you get them for me? Second and third drawer in the dresser.” I point at the long one tucked against the far wall.
Callan grabs my things and approaches the door, turning his head away and stretching his arm out. I take them, muttering another thanks, and shut the door. I clean myself up and put the panties on with a pad before drawing the nightdress down over my head. The effort involved in doing that is almost too much, but I push on, washing my face, cleaning my teeth, and combing my hair before knotting it on top of my head.
Exhaustion rolls over me as I step out of the bathroom, and Callan is there in a heartbeat, lifting me into his arms and carrying me to bed.
There is no trace of blood on the floor or my bed. “You cleaned up and changed the sheets.”
“Hope that’s okay,” he says, gently tucking the covers around me.
“Of course. Thank you.”
“You don’t need to keep thanking me. I’m glad I can be here to help you until Seán arrives,” he says, handing me a glass of water and dropping two pain pills in my hand.
“He’s not coming. He has important meetings he can’t get out of.”
“I see.” His lips purse.
“I told him not to come,” I lie, feeling the need to defend my fiancé, though I’m not sure why. “I’ll be fine in a day or two.” I pop the pills as he reaches behind him to grab something from the chair.
“Here. The lady in the chemist said this would help with the cramping.” He hands me a heating pad before settling back in the chair.
Tears build behind my eyes, and I have to force myself not to thank him again as I slide the pad under the covers and place it on my stomach, closing my eyes and sighing as the warmth eases the pain. “You don’t need to stay, Callan. You should go home to your daughter.”
“I’m not leaving you alone.”
My eyes pop open. “I’ll be fine.”
“I want to be here, and I’m staying. Travis can handle things at the office tomorrow.”
Tears leak out of my eyes. The man who devastated my heart is the one showing up for me now, and I’m so confused. Callan is prepared to prioritize me in the way my fiancé isn’t, but this isn’t right. I’m all torn up, feeling like my relationship is irrevocably broken and guilty for taking the comfort my ex is offering when I shouldn’t because he hurt me so much. Even if I don’t know the truth, you can’t erase the years of pain I suffered because of him. It’s all too much right now. “Don’t do this.” I sob, turning my face into the pillow as if he won’t see me crying.
“Don’t ask me to leave you alone. Not when you’re in pain. You heard what the doctor said. Someone needs to be with you.”
When I turn my head, he is crouched over me, and his face is creased with concern. “It can’t be you, Callan.”
He sinks to his knees. “But it should be,” he whispers. There are tears in his eyes too. “It was always supposed to be me.”
“I know.” There’s no point denying it. Itwasmeant to be him.
We stare at one another, and there’s a world of hurt flowing between us.
“Are you okay if Mum stays with you tomorrow? I can figure something out with her.”
