“My weight has never bothered me, and I love food too much to deny myself. My middle name is still cake,” I quip.
“Are you going to study it or eat it?” Renee asks before tearing into her burrito and loudly groaning.
I bite into my food and close my eyes as my taste buds explode. We eat in silence for a few minutes before I break it, sharing the thoughts running through my mind. “I was dreading coming back to Ryemont, but I think it’s what I needed. No place has ever truly felt like home, not even Ystad. Returning has soothed something in my soul, and it’s almost like I never left. I think I needed to come back to confront those parts of my past I never dealt with.”
“Does that extend to Callan? Is that why you can talk to him now?”
I chew my food slowly while I contemplate how to answer. “It’s weird. I’ve spent so many years hating him, but it’s hard to hold on to that hate when he’s right there in front of me, reminding me of the boy who was my first love. The moment hiseyes meet mine, I fall into a kind of trance, and it’s as if nothing has happened.”
“You guys always had this special connection. It’s why none of us could believe it when we found out about him and Gwen.”
I glance sideways at her. “Do you think he’s telling the truth now?” I filled Renee in on everything Thursday night when she flew in.
Renee sets her half-eaten burrito down on the plate and pins me with a solemn look. “I think he is. He doesn’t seem like the bad guy we all thought he was. Watching him last night, he was like his old self, yet he also wasn’t. He’s quieter, more introspective, but one thing hasn’t changed, and that’s the way he looks at you.”
“I wish he wouldn’t.” The burrito churns unpleasantly in my stomach. “I’m no longer his, and even if I do listen to what he has to say, that won’t change. I’m engaged to another man.” I twirl my ring on my finger, trying not to think of the distance growing between my fiancé and me.
Seán left without me that last day here, but after I called my boss to fix things, I got in my car and drove the four and a half hours to the hospital. I stayed until Sunday, like I promised, but my fiancé was still pissed I was leaving. He’s accepted it now, and I was right; he’s so fucking busy he barely has the time to call me most days. I didn’t bother going to the city this weekend because last weekend we only got to spend a couple of hours together on Sunday, and I’d rather save myself the long drive and stay in Ryemont if he’s too busy to carve out quality time for us.
I honestly don’t know what the future holds for us now. Our relationship feels fragile and not as solid as I thought it was
“I’m sure he knows the score. It’s not like anyone could miss that dazzler on your finger, but it’s obvious he never got over you, Astrid. I won’t ever tell you what to do, because I knowyou’ve been through hell, but if it were me, I would want to know the truth. Callan Hunt did not walk away from you willingly. Of that, I’m sure.”
“I’m scared,” I truthfully admit before swallowing another mouthful of my drink. “I’m scared of what he has to say. What if it breaks me all over again? I’m not sure I’m strong enough to deal with it again.”
“I think you’re stronger than you realize.” She takes my hands in hers. “I know we don’t always see much of one another, and our weekly call can sometimes be monthly, but you’re still one of my best friends, Astrid, and I know who you are at your core. You won’t ever fully move past this until you know the truth, and no matter what it is, I know you can handle it.”
Three days after Renee leaves, I finally pluck up the courage to approach Callan. The truth is, I’ve been driving myself mad this past month, cycling back and forth over the pros and cons, and I know I won’t rest until I hear what Callan has to say. Paige agrees with Renee, and she’s offered to come visit if I need moral support.
I’m so grateful for my girls. They literally keep me sane.
Stopping outside the Garner Hunt Construction Limited office in town, I scan the framed notices in the window as I fight a last-minute case of jitters and try to pull my big-girl panties up. Seán doesn’t know I’m here. I don’t plan to keep it a secret from him, but I don’t need his permission either. This is about my past, and it’s my decision. I’ll talk to him after my conversation with Callan, and hopefully, he won’t be too angry with me, but who knows? He’s so short-tempered these days, and it’s like the man I fell in love with was an illusion.
Drawing a brave breath, I open the door and step inside the small building. The place is empty, but someone must be here if the door isn’t locked. “Hello?” I call out as I take in my surroundings. There’s a small waiting area in front of the reception desk with three chairs and a table. I prop my elbows on the counter as I hear footsteps approaching. Behind the front section are four desks, arranged in an L-shape, with three doors off to the left-hand side. Callan emerges from one of them, slamming to a halt when he sees me.
“Astrid. I wasn’t expecting you.”
“It was a spur-of-the-moment decision,” I truthfully say. “I was driving past after work and saw a light on.”
“Okay.” He approaches me cautiously.
“You know, you really could do a lot more with this space. It’s a bit sterile.”
His mouth lifts in a grin. “You offering to redecorate?”
“I can give you a few pointers.”
“We’re actually moving. We’ve built bigger office space beside our supply warehouse on Travis’s land. We’re hoping to be in by the end of the month.”
“Congratulations.”
“Thanks. You can totally redecorate there if you like. We haven’t given much thought to how we’re going to furnish the place apart from moving our desks and chairs in.”
“Maybe I can drop by and make a few suggestions.” I shrug, feigning indifference even as I shake on the inside. “I came for a reason.”
He leans his slim frame against the end of the desk. “What do you need?”
“I’m ready.”
