If she was happy, I would’ve walked away like I originally planned. But that guy is all wrong for her, and I highly doubt they’ll make it up the aisle. Fuck, even thinking that is like a punch in the gut. I want to tell her how I feel, how I’ve always felt, and go on a massive charm offensive to remind her of all the ways we are perfect for one another, but the timing isn’t right.
Cheating is a trigger for Astrid, and I would never put that kind of pressure on her, so outright “wooing” as Riley calls it, or flirting as Travis suggested, is a massive no-no. She wouldn’t entertain it for a second; besides, she doesn’t even like me, let alone trust me.
Her words from a few weeks ago still haunt me at night. I knew I had caused her immeasurable pain, but I didn’t realize it was that bad. Not for the first time, I wonder whether I should have gone about it differently, but no matter how many angles I consider it from, I end up right back where I was. The only way to protect her and get Gwen out of our lives was the way it went down.
All I can do is hope when Astrid knows the truth she sees it the same way.
For now, I’m going to start with friendship, if she’ll even let me offer that much. This would be easier if she knew the truth, but I meant it when I said I wouldn’t push her. Hearing it is going to be difficult, and I want her to be ready. I wasn’t lying when I said I could be patient. I would wait an eternity for even the whisper of a second chance with her.
“You spaced out,” she says, staring at me.
“Guilty as charged.” I smile. “I remember someone who did that quite a lot.”
“Oh, to be young without the worries of the world on your shoulders.”
“Yeah.” I lean against the pillar as kids start exiting the building. “We didn’t realize how good we had it.”
“Daddy! Can we go for ice cream?” Darcy asks when she reaches me, beaming at me like I hung the stars in the sky. That look will never get old.
“Sure thing, princess.”
“Oh, hi, Astrid.” Darcy’s voice softens, and her cheeks pink as she looks at Astrid. Her slim arms wind around my leg as she clings to me. Darcy is very shy until she knows someone, and then she’s a right chatterbox.
“Hi, Darcy.” Astrid smiles, but it’s a little off, and my stomach lurches painfully. “I’ll let you get back to your Saturday.”
“You could join us,” I suggest, already knowing she’ll turn me down.
“I have plans, but thank you.” She glances at Darcy again. “Enjoy your ice cream.” She offers another half-smile before walking off.
“She looks sad,” Darcy says, and she’s not wrong.
“Daddy,” she asks when she’s halfway through her ice cream.
“Yes, princess.” I lean back in the booth, sliding my arm around the back of the seat behind my daughter.
“We should ask Astrid to come to dinner.”
I arch a brow. “How come?”
“To cheer her up. You can make meatballs, and Nanny will help me to make chocolate cake.” She shovels another spoonful of strawberry ice cream into her mouth. “Chocolate cake makes everyone happy.”
“Don’t talk while you’re eating. You could choke, and it’s not good manners.”
She makes a face at me while she swallows the last of her ice cream. “Daddy, don’t be silly. You can’t choke on ice cream.” She rolls her eyes, and I boop her on the nose.
“Daddies know everything, and you need to listen.”
“Daddy.” She turns to face me, and her adorable little face melts my heart.
“What is it?” My arm curls protectively around her.
“Do you love Astrid?”
My eyes pop wide. Where the hell is this coming from?
“Nanny said she was your girlfriend and you were in love when you were in high school.”
A heads-up would’ve been nice, Ma.I tuck Darcy’s hair behind her ears. “That is true.”
