My natural instinct is to feel guilty because I never came to see him, and I barely gave him a second thought after he came out of his coma. But I swat those feelings aside. I have nothing to feel guilty about. He did me dirty, and I was right to leave him to his fate.
“You look good, Astrid. Different, but good,” he says when he comes to a stop in front of me. “Sit down, ladies. You all look awkward as fuck.”
“How have you been, Joe?” Renee asks, claiming a spot on the middle of the couch. Nikki and I drop down on either side of her with Joe facing us from the other side of the coffee table.
“I’ve been better, but I’m alive, which is a good thing, or so I’m told.”
“I’m sorry this happened to you,” I say, and it’s no lie. I’m not his biggest fan, but I always felt bad his life turned out like this, even if it was partly his own fault. Like how the way my life turned out is also partly on me. My therapists don’t agree, but I can’t ignore the role I played.
Act like a dumb idiot, and you get hurt like a dumb idiot.
“I’m sorry for what Gwen has done to you.” His jaw tightens. “And I’m sorry I didn’t speak up sooner.”
“What’s this about?”
“I have some things to tell you, but the first thing I need to say is I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry for how I have treated you in the past, Astrid. I was an idiot. I did love you. I swear I did, but I made so many bad decisions when it came to you.” He wets his lips, looking nervous, and my anxiety spikes. “Some of this may hurt to hear, but I need to tell you everything because you need to understand how dangerous Gwen is.”
Nikki, Renee, and I trade wary looks.
“Tell me what I need to know.”
“I was fucking Gwen while we were dating.”
“Of course, you were.” I bark out a sharp laugh. “You just couldn’t keep it in your pants, huh? I’m so glad I never fucked you. I would’ve regretted it forever.”
He at least has the decency to look ashamed. “I was a piece of shit. Cheating on you with her is my biggest regret.”
“Save it for someone who cares. My interest in you died way before I ever set foot on the plane to Sweden that summer. IfMormorhadn’t been dying, I’d have broken up with you earlier. I’m only here out of curiosity, so say what you need to say, Joe. I’m already itching to leave.”
Hurt splays across his face, but I don’t have it in me to care if his feelings are wounded. “I deserve that.”
“You do.”
He clears his throat. “Gwen was the one who instigated it. Said she knew I had needs you couldn’t fulfill, but she was happy to. She said you’d never have to know. It was just sex. I should have refused her, but she can be persuasive.”
“We don’t need the graphic details,” Renee hisses.
My head swivels to look at my friends. Both are narrowing their eyes on Joe and obviously pissed. “Go on,” I say in a flat tone, wondering how much more there is to her betrayal.
“After I lost you and Callan was sniffing around, I enlisted Gwen’s help to get you back.”
“She was with Scott then,” Renee says. “Were you still fucking her?”
He nods, and Nikki cusses under her breath.
“Scott was a pawn in her game.” Joe stares at me as he talks. “I don’t know how exactly he fit, but she never shut up complaining about how boring he was.”
“It’s scary how good of an actress she is,” Nikki says.
“She wanted Callan, Astrid,” Joe continues. “When I approached her for help, she readily agreed. If I got you back, it meant Callan was available, and she planned to make a move on him.”
“She set me up that Halloween.” The pieces are starting to fit into place now. “She bought me the sluttiest costume, plied me with drink, and came up with the plan to seduce you to make Callan jealous.”
Joe bobs his head.
There was no end to my stupidity. How fucking gullible can a person be to let someone manipulate them for years? Because it’s clear to me now that’s what Gwen did. “What did you do to me in that room, Joe?” I level him with a sharp look. “What was the goal?”
“The goal was to get you back, and I didn’t do anything to you because you passed out the instant I put you on the bed.”
