“Watch your fucking tone, Cristian,” Caleb warns.
“How can you defend her, Elisa?” I ask in a calmer tone because my best friend is right. I can’t take this out on his wife even if her soft heart is pissing me off right now.
“How can you not?” Her eyes probe mine. “I thought you loved her.”
“I did and she fucking betrayed me! She played me, used me, and put my son in danger. The cartel could’ve taken him, Elisa. Would you defend her if they’d succeeded?”
“There is no way she played any part in that. Sloane loves Elio. She’d never have allowed anything to happen to him. She loves you too.”
“It was all an act, Elisa. She was doing what she had to do to save her mother.”
“Her mother is dead because she crossed the cartel,” Joshua says.
“We can’t know that for sure, and it seems like her mother was killed before the attempted kidnapping,” Gia says. “Why was Sloane still doing their dirty work?”
“She wasn’t.” Elisa is holding steadfast to her conviction.
“Sloane doesn’t know, honey,” Joshua replies. “The news has only broken, and the cartel wouldn’t have been truthful. They were using her mother as bait right up until the last moment.”
“Sloane chose you and Elio over her own mother, Cristian,” Elisa says. “Doesn’t that count for anything?”
“All of this is supposition,” I say, clinging to the threads of sanity. Truth is, I don’t know what to think now, and I’m very confused.
“You could have asked her,” Elisa quietly says.
“I was doing everything in my power not to riddle her manipulative ass with bullets!” I shout as my anger returns like a clap of thunder streaking through the skies.
Caleb glares at me, and I draw deep breaths, trying to calm down.
“I’m sorry, Elisa. I know you mean well, but I’m too angry to find forgiveness in my heart. She jeopardized my son’s safety. I can’t get past that. Everything could’ve been avoided if she’d talked to me. I think she planned to, that last morning, but it was already too late. I gave Sloane no reason to doubt I would’ve helped. The truth is, she didn’t trust me with anything, and now we’re all paying the price for her poor decision-making skills.”
“She is as much a victim as her mother, Cristian. She’s probably hating herself for the things she’s done, and she’s all alone now. Don’t you care what happens to her? Because the man I thought you were wouldn’t have tried to kill the woman he loves without getting all the answers.”
Her words try to penetrate the thick wall I’ve renewed around my heart, but those walls are rock solid now. “I only have enough strength to care for my son. This has devastated Elio, and he’s my priority now. He needs my full devotion, and he’s getting it.”
“Then you never truly loved her.” Elisa’s eyes pierce mine with a fierceness that speaks to the core of her personality. “If you did, you’d be tearing the world apart to find her before the cartel does. I hope you can live with yourself with her death on your conscience.”
* * *
Elisa’s words are still tormenting me a week later. I’m all cut up. Torn to shreds with all manner of conflicting emotions. Sleep evades me at night, and I’m functioning on fumes. This must be what it was like for Sloane.
Upon reflection, Elisa spoke a lot of truths, but how can I forgive Sloane when the betrayal runs so deep? Maybe she was trying to protect Elio, but she still put him in a position where he was almost kidnapped. Every time I think about it, I break out in a cold sweat. I could have lost my son. The cartel could have their hands on him now. The only thought that terrifies me more is the thought of Sloane out there alone, being hunted by the cartel.
Fuck. I’m a certifiable mess, and I don’t trust myself to make the right decision.
All these thoughts churn through my brain on the helicopter ride to the city, making mincemeat of what’s left of my heart. Joshua, Gia, and Caleb are pensive too. We’ve had several conversations, and it’s safe to say we’re all troubled.
Elisa is taking care of Elio for now, but I’m going to have to start looking for a new nanny soon. Isa is begging me to come back as Elio’s nanny. While it might make the most sense for my son, my trust in her is shaken too. I don’t think she had anything to do with Sloane or the cartel. She was vehemently opposed to me hiring her, and she did everything she could to drive her away. I also don’t believe she’d do anything to hurt Elio. But I’m mistrustful of everyone now, and the truth is, I don’t want her living at Glencoe.
A child psychologist friend of Natalia’s from the hospital came to the house a couple of times to talk with Elio. I’m hoping she can help him through this. I’m also trying to find the right words to explain the world we live in. I’d hoped to avoid this conversation for another few years, but Elio needs to know now.
Fuck the cartel for forcing my hand.
Resting my head against the window as we fly over The Big Apple, I acknowledge that a large part of me still pines for Sloane. I would never say it out loud, but I miss her. Precious memories are tainted now, and I can’t believe every smile, every laugh, and every moan of pleasure was all fake. Is it possible some of it was real? Or am I still clinging to delusions?
Sloane made me look weak in front of everyone, like Aliya did. I’ve always prided myself on being smart, level-headed, and dependable, but these past two weeks, I’ve been an emotional, indecisive mess, and it’s time to pull myself together. Leaving Elio today was hard, but we both need to get back into a more familiar routine. Starting today, I’m pulling my head out of my ass, getting down to business, and putting Sloane behind me.
Dano is waiting for me when we land, and this can’t be anything good. He’d only be here if there were some kind of emergency. “What is it?” I shout over the noise of the helicopter as it takes off after we’ve disembarked.
