Am I selfless enough to set her free?
Pain obliterates me on the inside as a startling realization dawns on me.
I think I love her.
I think I have for years.
“Well?” Her cutting tone drags me back to the moment. “Do you remember the skank now?” She glares at me while trying to hide her hurt.
If I do this, there will be no coming back from it.
She will hate me for eternity.
But I don’t see how I have any other choice. I could never be good enough for a woman like Elisa Salerno. She wants rainbows and unicorns, and I’m darkness personified. She craves a committed relationship, and I move from one casual encounter to the next without looking back. Even if I wanted to try with her, I have no clue how to do it, and I’d probably only end up hurting her and disappointing myself.
No. This is the only way.
I force a smirk on my face, already hating myself for what I’m about to do. “Damn straight.” My smirk grows wider, and I die a little inside as abject pain shimmers in her glassy eyes. “That wasa wild night,” I lie. It was actually some of the worst sex I’ve ever had. “I wasn’t aware she was a college student, and I’m not sure I even got her name. But yeah. My bad.” I hold up my hands and grin like it’s not a big deal and I’m not just crushing her heart all over again. “I did fuck her. I fucked all of them. Multiple times. In multiple positions. I even?—”
“Shut up!” she roars, covering my mouth with her hand as more tears course down her face.
Bile crawls up my throat, and I’m disgusted with myself. It doesn’t even feel like the right thing to do, but it’s done now. There is no coming back from it.
“Get out,” she sobs, removing her hand. “Get out of my house and out of my life.” She climbs to her feet and her lower lip wobbles. “You are dead to me, Caleb. I never want to see you again.”
I hang my head in shame as she races out of the sunroom crying and try to convince myself I haven’t just made a terrible mistake.
“Hey, sexy.” The stool beside me screeches as someone hops up onto it, sliding their warm body against mine.
“Not interested,” I snap, pouring more Macallan into my glass. After my first few whiskies, I told the bartender to give me the bottle, and I’ve lost count of how much I’ve drank by now. Enough to make me drunk, but I’m still way too conscious for my liking. I want to blot it all out. Those three lying sluts and my Lili. My sweet, adorable Lili. The woman who wants to shove my balls in a meatgrinder and pulverize them. Can’t say I’d blame her.
“I’ve been watching you,” the woman purrs, placing her hand on my arm. “Whatever you’re drinking to forget isn’t working. I can help. I bet fucking it out of your system will do the trick.”
I snort out a laugh. Why does she think I came to Club H in the first place? That had been my initial plan. To fuck my way through the memory of Lili’s face when I hurt her so cruelly. Until I showed up here and the thought of touching any woman sickened me. I was propositioned plenty of times, but I turned them all down. Even watching the kinky shit going down in the orgy room didn’t get my juices flowing. My dick is like a lump of Jell-O, flopping from side to side with nothing stirring. Which is why this bitch needs to fuck the hell off. I couldn’t fuck her even if I wanted to, which I don’t. “Don’t pretend like you know me or know what I need or want because you don’t,” I drawl.
“You don’t remember me, do you?”
That statement has me whipping my head to face her. Relief shuttles through me. For a second there, I was terrified it was one of those lying bitches. In my current mood, if I see any of them, I’m likely to shoot them on the spot. They used me to hurt Lili, and I am going to make them pay.
“Caleb?” The dark-haired woman touches my face. “Do you remember me?”
“Nope.” I slap her hand away, only for her to drive it between my legs. She wastes no time stroking me through my jeans.
“Remember me now?” She wets her lips in what I’m sure she thinks is a provocative manner, but it does nothing for me. Same with her ministrations between my legs. My dick is limp with zero interest in anything sex related.
I might need a doctor.
“I was visiting the city last year on business, and I came here with a couple of friends. You fucked all of us, but tonight, I’m hoping for a solo special.” She waggles her brows and thrusts her enlarged fake chest forward as if that will change my mind.
Removing her hand from my groin, I thrust it back at her and snarl, “Fuck off. My dick is allergic to your touch.”
“You weren’t allergic the last time.”
“My dick obviously wised up,” I say before ignoring her and going back to my drink.
“You can’t just ignore me! I have come here every night this week hoping to see you.”
“Not my problem.” I wave a dismissive hand in her direction, already done with this convo.
