Please say I’m enough.
Don’t go back to him.
She stares at me through glistening bloodshot eyes, and I know what she’s going to say before she utters the words. “I can’t. I’m sorry.”
Something vital dies inside me. Bit by bit, I come undone. Snatching each shattered piece, I shove it down deep into thevoid, so deep it’s lost to the internal storm raging, locking my emotions up with it.
I tried, and it wasn’t good enough.
Like always, I’m never enough.
I was a fool to think she’d ever choose me.
How many times do I have to be rejected before the harsh reality is accepted?
I was always destined to live in my twin’s shadow. To be less than.
She’s made her decision, and fuck this, I’m out of here.
She has leveled me so completely I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get back up.
I swing my legs out of the bed. “Then I guess that’s it.”
She sits up, looking thoroughly confused, which is a bit rich. “Please don’t go. I thought you were going to stay tonight?”
Is she for real?She rejects me. Refuses to tell me she loves me even though I see it written all over her face, and she thinks I’m going to what? Stay here and fuck her all night so she gets her rocks off before she runs back to him? Not fucking likely.
A harsh laugh erupts from my throat as I get dressed. “Why delay the inevitable? We might as well do this now.” Rage is immediate and intense as, semi-dressed, I turn to face her. I slide my feet into my runners, and whatever she sees on my face is enough to have her tugging the covers up under her chin. “It’s not like you really care. If you did, you’d want to stay.”
“I do!” She stands, hugging the sheet around her body. “I wish I could stay here with you. I swear I do. But it’s not possible, Dillon.”
“Anything is possible if you want it badly enough.”
“That’s not fair!”
“What’s not fair is you making me love you and then leaving to go back to that prick!” I shout as I drown under the weight of the pain I’m feeling.
She steps back, looking wary. “That’s not what I’m doing.”
Her protests are worthless. I bet this was always her plan, and I’m the gobshite who fell for it. “Bull-fucking-shit.” I let the full extent of my frustration and anger loose, narrowing my eyes and spitting out my next words. “You’re pathetic. Crawling back to him after he’s probably spent months fucking his costar.”
“Reeve has nothing to do with this. He won’t even be in L.A.”
Has she always been this much of a liar and I didn’t see it?I jab my finger in front of her face. “You can’t even admit it to yourself.”
“Dillon, my entire life is back in L.A. My classes are starting in ten days. I’ve signed up for an evening costume design course. I have taken out a lease with Audrey on an apartment near UCLA. My parents are there.”
“You could transfer to Trinity permanently, but you never even tried, did you?”
“The thought did cross my mind.”
I scoff. “Yet you did nothing about it.”
Her nostrils flare as the truth stings. She’s just mad I’m calling her out on her bullshit tactics. “Hang on here a second. You never gave me any indication until right now that you wanted me to stay! Do you think I’m a mind reader?”
“Cop the fuck on, Hollywood. We both know what we’re feeling. Or maybe I was the only one who fell.” I pull my lips into a tight line as I angrily fasten the buttons on my shirt, needing to get out of here ASAP.
“You know that’s not true, and what difference would it make anyway, Dillon? You’re not going to be in Dublin for much longer. The band will take off, and you’ll go with them. You’ll be gone for years, and there’ll be groupies and women coming out of the woodwork, and I’ll be pushed aside. We’d try to make it work, but it wouldn’t. I know. I’ve already been there.”
